tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22771150086044955052024-02-20T01:26:22.050-08:00DVD FiendDigitally versatile.Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-42430373481075098572011-12-17T17:26:00.000-08:002011-12-18T11:17:50.197-08:00Top 10: Collectible DVD Labels Part 1<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dcrw66/DSC_0280.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 536px; height: 358px;" src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dcrw66/DSC_0280.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Hey there! It's been a while, yet again. Same ol' stuff going down.<br /><br />But we're not here for that. We're here to celebrate another Top 10 list, because everyone loves lists. Everyone! Just try to refute it.<br /><br />Returning back to the topic that inspired me to create this blog in the first place, perhaps in order to find some type of structure once again with it, or perhaps just to dwell in my favorite topic: hoarding, I mean, collecting movies!<br /><br />As someone who's been fanatical about spending any free dime (something hard to come by lately) he can on a disc encased with cinematic goodness, I've found certain labels to call to me, much like music fiends who follow specific labels' releases. Whether it's the packaging, the type of movie, or any combination of mitigating factors; these lines are just plain damned fun to collect. You remember as a kid wanting to collect baseball cards? Imagine that thrill but with something you can get at least a few hours of entertainment out of before it takes up shelf space.<br /><br />The rankings of this list has been decided through taking into account various factors, such as how much enjoyment I get out of the films themselves along with how much fun I get out of hunting them down and the sense of accomplishment I receive.<br /><br />And here's two words for any label heads that might be looking for ways to grab collectors' attention: <span style="font-weight:bold;">Spine Numbers</span>. You throw those on there and you've got me like a fish on a hook.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:180%;" >10. Blue Underground</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNMam0JDj8o1gmpJZg5J4UIFx9cJTtxqIFJTtqWjUYqaO099p5xPvh3Mjr9gkuvFokLTBPFC7xodeqhdrTKrcNfN1HweCvf1fV3Otyl3Sec2lYEXqvBZZDH8Gi5NsxxA9CK-QYdlUi7kmY/s1600/banner1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 149px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNMam0JDj8o1gmpJZg5J4UIFx9cJTtxqIFJTtqWjUYqaO099p5xPvh3Mjr9gkuvFokLTBPFC7xodeqhdrTKrcNfN1HweCvf1fV3Otyl3Sec2lYEXqvBZZDH8Gi5NsxxA9CK-QYdlUi7kmY/s320/banner1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687390254621832530" border="0" /></a><br />Started when William Lustig left the Anchor Bay of old, Blue Underground has made a name for itself releasing some of the most primo cult titles. Argentos, Fulcis, and a healthy dose of various <span style="font-style:italic;">gialli</span> help to make up a strong catalog of Euro-horrors that continue to hold a high demand amongst film collectors. That's not to say domestic titles are ignored. Quality titles such as <span style="font-style:italic;">Dead & Buried</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">The Crazies</span>, and <span style="font-style:italic;">Q: The Winged Serpent</span> leave a testament to American cult. But, and I find this to be true with a lot of labels, the quieter, less notable releases really stand out to me. Oddities such as Larry Cohen's <span style="font-style:italic;">Bone</span> and the new wave Aussie musical <span style="font-style:italic;">Starstruck</span> have become a couple of my personal favorite movies yet there is almost no mention of them amongst cult film circles. With the advent of blu-ray, Blue Underground has also made a name for itself with some of the most outstanding transfers of catalog titles that the medium has seen yet.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6E7sieJqpCgjW3AqnBq-buI9qaKbn57te6FB8lSEuevQiju6YzNOmG_NSQHcVsSWLPGb1GiEu3fochGEYrZ_Jk3yUe2HvwQnAUw8mi7FhnIL0oxs7md-p1v21sqku9zLWoRvzEPICcIsD/s1600/banner2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6E7sieJqpCgjW3AqnBq-buI9qaKbn57te6FB8lSEuevQiju6YzNOmG_NSQHcVsSWLPGb1GiEu3fochGEYrZ_Jk3yUe2HvwQnAUw8mi7FhnIL0oxs7md-p1v21sqku9zLWoRvzEPICcIsD/s320/banner2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687391249434439154" border="0" /></a><br />Unfortunately, it seems that the release of new titles has slowed to a crawl which is one of the factors in it being placed at #10. In 2011, they released only two, though very welcome, new titles to their catalog: <span style="font-style:italic;">The Nesting</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Quiet Days in Clichy</span>. I'm very glad they're supporting HD with such quality releases though I do wish we would see more unique titles released between the big name catalog reissues.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV9KoQvj83Y34qYgMgDO17P9GqVMuHsy319WO448YWUNRqVCEpdBdyN90TxkN2m59Lf-p09AOACfTbcAuvu1mp-JFhLEmUdVfG_iPrcFwFkuq4F36PRj6Z33ew4IQhxrN10R4MzcapiG9N/s1600/banner3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhV9KoQvj83Y34qYgMgDO17P9GqVMuHsy319WO448YWUNRqVCEpdBdyN90TxkN2m59Lf-p09AOACfTbcAuvu1mp-JFhLEmUdVfG_iPrcFwFkuq4F36PRj6Z33ew4IQhxrN10R4MzcapiG9N/s320/banner3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687391490162127922" border="0" /></a><br />Still, when you receive a new Blue Underground disc, you know you've got quality. Usually it's a title you've been reading about for a while online and you're excited to just be able to watch the damn thing. But then you get their wonderful covers and a decent sized booklet typically containing a top-notch essay or two by various passionate writers giving each title the star treatment. Their films are typically Euro-centric which, combined with the special treatment BU gives them, gives off a feeling of prestige. Kind of like looking at a vintage Scotch magazine ad from the 60's.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0aEsTfnK9j17Pbj-sQ2qIzH_p0niDYsK0eqjFRghyqa55yxJCwme4BxtTcViGoGq1qcqm1Nd2O-PVRKHrM79ZSWQLh05jveWBndiqni2jlPxz1yPe0Pn3CQi7w3q0xAilHcnsJnuyjoh1/s1600/banner4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0aEsTfnK9j17Pbj-sQ2qIzH_p0niDYsK0eqjFRghyqa55yxJCwme4BxtTcViGoGq1qcqm1Nd2O-PVRKHrM79ZSWQLh05jveWBndiqni2jlPxz1yPe0Pn3CQi7w3q0xAilHcnsJnuyjoh1/s320/banner4.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687391672370668114" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Favorite titles:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Bone, Starstruck, Q: The Winged Serpent, Vampyres, The Blind Dead</span> boxset, <span style="font-style:italic;">City of the Living Dead</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Upcoming titles:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Night Train Murders</span> blu, <span style="font-style:italic;">Baba Yaga</span> blu, <span style="font-style:italic;">Strip Nude for Your Killer</span> blu<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >9. Dragon Dynasty</span><br /></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZTTgptTCbPyOPm5ZewP45hMKMQwLC1kuxNlSlTZstlPNaI22_reXLUFXSV_gc0PFLuUDs391Ri8ifp3pBN8hFRS7mpxWRsKBLI9yszWlJ6WW1QlbvgAVsimKkoRME7qh6F_OdGkNGjr7N/s1600/banner5.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZTTgptTCbPyOPm5ZewP45hMKMQwLC1kuxNlSlTZstlPNaI22_reXLUFXSV_gc0PFLuUDs391Ri8ifp3pBN8hFRS7mpxWRsKBLI9yszWlJ6WW1QlbvgAVsimKkoRME7qh6F_OdGkNGjr7N/s320/banner5.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687395831000247058" border="0" /></a><br />Now, other than horror and the like, my favorite type of genre to throw on at any old time would be kung-fu and Asian action films, the love of which is why this line makes the list. The spine numbers aren't hurting it, either. (Note: I'll freely admit that if there was one all-encompassing Shaw Bros. line instead of their titles being spread amongst distributors, it'd probably take the place of this one, and probably move further up the list.)<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTgtJgprwxCIcniAj7QjrVfja3U80pXTQIfnBk_BXeXeDsZU3DhgUsdjaRscj87i5aL9P93Y2Mf2R4NSECsDwxUPJ5fwGRiZmNz22dZ5GbrGfAevmcd22EkYTXi9yc8nMTY04kkYmAM_0e/s1600/banner6.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTgtJgprwxCIcniAj7QjrVfja3U80pXTQIfnBk_BXeXeDsZU3DhgUsdjaRscj87i5aL9P93Y2Mf2R4NSECsDwxUPJ5fwGRiZmNz22dZ5GbrGfAevmcd22EkYTXi9yc8nMTY04kkYmAM_0e/s320/banner6.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687396025533540194" border="0" /></a><br />Dragon Dynasty, owned by the frustrating Weinsteins, has had its fair share of criticisms. Cut releases, dub-titles, confounding commentary tracks, etc., all of which I agree with. None of that shit should have happened, but knowing that its existence is really to shuttle out the stuff the Weinsteins have acquired and don't know what to do with, we should be happy that it's only been <span style="font-style:italic;">this</span> bad. If you can get past all that, you have a very nice range of movies that might otherwise have not been released here, remaining as expensive imports; and they definitely wouldn't have had as much mainstream exposure by being carried by big box stores such as Walmart. Because of this line, these movies have a decent chance at being discovered by a completely new audience.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVrh_mp6uHEru6W-DpTPU1XD68oG4iCe5n5j6ulLG8S2Y0epagcRBo_h8cavZqX2kNTEqOwuVJf9JjAZLnjo-kcfohH1zqhM-tgifi0Wy6QZ0nO9FyvEYGqttTLRHGI_n_GVmsJlaJnO6N/s1600/banner7.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVrh_mp6uHEru6W-DpTPU1XD68oG4iCe5n5j6ulLG8S2Y0epagcRBo_h8cavZqX2kNTEqOwuVJf9JjAZLnjo-kcfohH1zqhM-tgifi0Wy6QZ0nO9FyvEYGqttTLRHGI_n_GVmsJlaJnO6N/s320/banner7.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687396151241194418" border="0" /></a><br />And what movies, indeed. The catalog ranges from the titans of Asian action with <span style="font-style:italic;">The Killer</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Hard Boiled</span> to classic Shaw Bros. kung-fu to newer, lesser-known titles such as <span style="font-style:italic;">Seven Swords</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">Born to Fight</span>. Their release of <span style="font-style:italic;">SPL</span> (unfortunately retitled with the generic <span style="font-style:italic;">Kill Zone</span>) put me over the moon, priming me just in time for the recent wave of Donie Yen goodness with <span style="font-style:italic;">Ip Man</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Return of the Fist.</span> Their title <span style="font-style:italic;">Dog Bite Dog</span>, one I had never heard of before or since really, turned out to be one of the most stark and hard-hitting films I had seen in years, becoming one of my favorite films. If there's one title I'd implore people to seek out, it'd be that one. And you can't forget the spine numbers. As any collecting fanatic will tell you, seeing those gaps in the numbering on the shelf with only drive the "gotta collect them all" madness further.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgngdg3YHHi1ggiHbJj92c0NAGpOJV5WL2sASuVGluoWE_I9FEfiKfDszzLPIanYrejonDevumYVj33ZFjSDTZKBOggNfQcA39FfJvSV3yJtmtD37P-1pbuS_qK7YSSdny4VMJReU98p5rx/s1600/banner8.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgngdg3YHHi1ggiHbJj92c0NAGpOJV5WL2sASuVGluoWE_I9FEfiKfDszzLPIanYrejonDevumYVj33ZFjSDTZKBOggNfQcA39FfJvSV3yJtmtD37P-1pbuS_qK7YSSdny4VMJReU98p5rx/s320/banner8.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687396252173493266" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Favorite titles:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Dog Bite Dog, Kill Zone, Hard Boiled, The Royal Tramp Collection, The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, Come Drink With Me</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Upcoming titles:</span> Unfortunately, newly announced titles for the line come at random times, usually right around when you start thinking the line's dead. After releasing a flurry of Shaw Bros and blu upgrades to existing titles just in the last few months, they deserve to take a break, I suppose, with their only upcoming title listed on Amazon being the Dragon Dynasty Collection-Volume 2, collecting some of their most recent single releases.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >8. Roger Corman's Cult Classics</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-CvwJ9qdw9lweCRFqgzNI_i8RzqoAC54oks3x_AWZnjWxMMl0Aop1RIo7PXza8jUWoV0-U22ieS-6nVJ4y0fEgllw9HIn2h8bYmoQONLrbZpQ7HLZ4gluwzbJkixkh9nc07cxRoNhfDO_/s1600/banner9.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-CvwJ9qdw9lweCRFqgzNI_i8RzqoAC54oks3x_AWZnjWxMMl0Aop1RIo7PXza8jUWoV0-U22ieS-6nVJ4y0fEgllw9HIn2h8bYmoQONLrbZpQ7HLZ4gluwzbJkixkh9nc07cxRoNhfDO_/s320/banner9.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687539131195738754" border="0" /></a><br />When BCI/Deimos was sadly disbanded, cult dvd suffered a pretty big blow. One of the only highlights of that event was the main man behind it, Cliff MacMillan, was picked by Shout Factory to head up their newly acquired Roger Corman line of titles, helping to preserve a lineage for future generations.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdePwIuWn3RS38e8PvI4KyezDgNA3XSGfWmiz4ZqrWmstgWOKXMBaY6XKQtfXS_VmY2aupgm3CKUOZ0KPM5j4IMzkne03htNkPJxZqzMamQPlFM8QRSA4dd2JZWQNqKPI0ROT_pdDM7-Y2/s1600/banner10.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdePwIuWn3RS38e8PvI4KyezDgNA3XSGfWmiz4ZqrWmstgWOKXMBaY6XKQtfXS_VmY2aupgm3CKUOZ0KPM5j4IMzkne03htNkPJxZqzMamQPlFM8QRSA4dd2JZWQNqKPI0ROT_pdDM7-Y2/s320/banner10.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687539304830781666" border="0" /></a><br />Some of these titles had been released before through Corman's New Concorde label but most had been out of print and went for a decent price used. Others had never been released at all, some not even on VHS. Shout Factory should be given a medal for saving so many of these movies from getting swept by in time, many of them receiving deluxe special editions that are almost better than the movies deserve. They've got DVD, blu-ray, double, triple, and even quadruple feature discs to contain all this schlock!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkWYqgPxkoQOtxIRyOSXMj_dIJ1tLDG3EYzRoqm9hKa4XHRWkB9SwICxcD-sbfL5DnDxI4VxNA9stp_KtI0-KKVstz4GeDGgnaUCAU-VyLnaEmqL8q3z2rsBypwS3WvbUNwmT-KZ6EGrNF/s1600/banner11.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkWYqgPxkoQOtxIRyOSXMj_dIJ1tLDG3EYzRoqm9hKa4XHRWkB9SwICxcD-sbfL5DnDxI4VxNA9stp_KtI0-KKVstz4GeDGgnaUCAU-VyLnaEmqL8q3z2rsBypwS3WvbUNwmT-KZ6EGrNF/s320/banner11.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687539753041279106" border="0" /></a><br />I would have fawned over this line anyways, but they get extra points for bringing out one of my favorite movies in a great blu-ray right out of the gate with <span style="font-style:italic;">Rock N' Roll High School</span> as their first release, along with Betty Thomas's <span style="font-style:italic;">Suburbia</span>. They followed that up with the heavy hitters <span style="font-style:italic;">Death Race 2000, Galaxy of Terror,</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Forbidden World</span>, all on blu. Rather than taking a chance on the smaller known titles getting overlooked with single title discs, they paired movies up in packs to attract more attention, something I'm more than fine with. While I enjoy special features, I'll always prefer getting as many unique titles on disc as possible, even if the films are light with the extras. I even found a movie I had been wondering about for years through this line. As a kid, I had rented some movie dealing with a space crew and some kind of monster coming on board. Since it's a fairly generic plot, I came across a dozen or so movies it could be but was never sure of what one it was until I got the <span style="font-style:italic;">Terror Within/Dead Space</span> disc I won in the DVDTalk Horror Challenge. One look at Marc Singer and his robot buddy and I knew I had finally got it. No idea if it's still any good yet. That's what I love about this line, they've released so many titles I used to gaze at as a child and can now finally watch. My only small gripe is their releases are heavily skewed towards the 70's stuff when I have a higher interest in the 80's/early 90's Corman stuff since that's what was coming out when I was growing up, but I'm definitely not snubbing my nose at the other titles. Great stuff, all of it.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvLqBsgQY0w4Pi9dcAleGUQTVtFGaPB3gC6Xy_2hNLFbbIhgK5NI-L4Gpb_N_W0JQR46KIE7ExgVZEaLsaVvt04u0wf9CjffVj2xzqEY0kEnM66-DTHNFikBw30GZYxIs_KhkF86pQynRy/s1600/banner12.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvLqBsgQY0w4Pi9dcAleGUQTVtFGaPB3gC6Xy_2hNLFbbIhgK5NI-L4Gpb_N_W0JQR46KIE7ExgVZEaLsaVvt04u0wf9CjffVj2xzqEY0kEnM66-DTHNFikBw30GZYxIs_KhkF86pQynRy/s320/banner12.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687539885520467682" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Favorite Titles:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Rock 'N' Roll High School</span> blu, <span style="font-style:italic;">Vampires, Mummies & Monsters Collection, The Slumber Party Massacre Collection, Sword & Sorcery Collection</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Upcoming Titles:</span> The only upcoming titles with dates to them yet are the <span style="font-style:italic;">Lethal Ladies Collection, Vol. 2</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">The Nurses Collection</span>. <a href="http://dvdnewsflash.wordpress.com/2011/06/25/2012-roger-corman-releases/">DVD News Flash</a> has a list of rumored future releases taken from Cliff himself.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:180%;">7. Shameless</span> </span></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMUmqdoHH6DNE3EPzwX8bcn5txz9GkAhMn3Rb2rLPtFpAzD8UYRFQS6WPA9eTg2WoP82XD7F3nMhE93wJQ6XRwfR5zvlin7hSicQDtMZkPDNdqjn3kjJA6e4Z86FcyT39L_1QcKDg2yI7c/s1600/banner13.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMUmqdoHH6DNE3EPzwX8bcn5txz9GkAhMn3Rb2rLPtFpAzD8UYRFQS6WPA9eTg2WoP82XD7F3nMhE93wJQ6XRwfR5zvlin7hSicQDtMZkPDNdqjn3kjJA6e4Z86FcyT39L_1QcKDg2yI7c/s320/banner13.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687543661418034626" border="0" /></a><br />With the number of unique Euro titles being released only at a fraction of what was coming out during the medium's heyday, a company still premiering catalog titles should be commended.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhInq7E_h9eswU3cFsLMSvO_7Fev9ZZ9yyfvNz6wcQYonaWH8XEucGjoPaDr9kusTnrY1Yub448TNyFknJpOsBaUoD6KYa1Qnqm_1LvG4il6w9m8e4A6Jgmczd4lDZmILRLwdp_rxkSJC6C/s1600/banner14.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhInq7E_h9eswU3cFsLMSvO_7Fev9ZZ9yyfvNz6wcQYonaWH8XEucGjoPaDr9kusTnrY1Yub448TNyFknJpOsBaUoD6KYa1Qnqm_1LvG4il6w9m8e4A6Jgmczd4lDZmILRLwdp_rxkSJC6C/s320/banner14.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687543781648245026" border="0" /></a><br />Now there are a few detriments when it comes to Shameless. If you live in the States, like me, then you're going to have to import these which automatically raises the price a bit. Even though the basic price is fairly cheap, rather ten dollars when converted, you still have to pay a higher shipping price as well as your bank charging you a conversion fee. Another problem is that many of their titles are easily available here domestically, released through Blue Underground or other cult labels. If you're over in Europe and you're reading this, none of this applies to you since you have to do all this shit when ordering our domestic labels. So you guys don't even have to sweat it. For the Yanks, you're probably asking why the hell I'm even bringing this label up, let alone placing it higher than something like Blue Underground?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijwy16TMLnbxUE-Fw5kh4GjgS1g0_EXCBfEaMqBEMXWVXBxKXtAkJh1ISvR3korPkCv4gkz8hERtofnR7-q4lEnjNqdLZK_vrvCe6hPrEUpj4aArE0-a-8XeFuCshMC_D3AK7D7aHbr9oa/s1600/banner15.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijwy16TMLnbxUE-Fw5kh4GjgS1g0_EXCBfEaMqBEMXWVXBxKXtAkJh1ISvR3korPkCv4gkz8hERtofnR7-q4lEnjNqdLZK_vrvCe6hPrEUpj4aArE0-a-8XeFuCshMC_D3AK7D7aHbr9oa/s320/banner15.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687543911058901570" border="0" /></a><br />Well, it's because they're just so goddamn collectible, which is what this list is all about. The packaging doesn't just catch your eye, it assaults it with bright yellow plastic and covers, harkening back to the Italian pulp novels that <span style="font-style:italic;">gialli</span> get their name from. They not only have the spine numbers racket thing going for them, but the spines also form an image of the company's logo, effectively <span style="font-style:italic;">doubling</span> the fucking spine madness. And that's not to say the films themselves are slouching either. They carry some of the big heavy hitters of grungy Euro horror such as <span style="font-style:italic;">New York Ripper</span>, much of which is readily available here so picking those up would be pretty much for the nutball collectors like me. But they do have titles that are harder to pick up domestically. <span style="font-style:italic;">Phantom of Death</span> is a <span style="font-style:italic;">giallo</span> directed by <span style="font-style:italic;">Cannibal Holocaust</span>'s Ruggero Deodato and stars Michael York. <span style="font-style:italic;">The Designated Victim, Escape From the Bronx, Footprints on the Moon, Oasis of Fear, Ratman,</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">What Have They Done to Your Daughters?</span> are all unavailable with a legitimate release here in the States but are available through Shameless. They recently made the plunge into HD, creating the world's first "yellow"-rays, which frankly are just damned snazzy. With the Shameless label, their strengths are definitely in the physical presentation of their titles and how satisfying it is to collect them, more so than probably any other line on this list.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilekXd-Z_eTrKBoce64xZZBLJ14H-JfOlZxtDUHocoKS9LA6FYImqgwWTEy4rOHX819kdPC0bAoWGjBf0hXz9UFn2yYuvfaLIpVTQgLTcthpPAASEsbz62XP5NI2OidsZ8NZoJJ8LdP_rY/s1600/banner16.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilekXd-Z_eTrKBoce64xZZBLJ14H-JfOlZxtDUHocoKS9LA6FYImqgwWTEy4rOHX819kdPC0bAoWGjBf0hXz9UFn2yYuvfaLIpVTQgLTcthpPAASEsbz62XP5NI2OidsZ8NZoJJ8LdP_rY/s320/banner16.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687544074404900530" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Favorite Titles:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">The Bronx Warriors Trilogy, Ratman, What Have They Done to Your Daughters?, The Strange Vice of Mrs Wardh</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Upcoming Titles:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Four Flies on Grey Velvet</span> blu, <span style="font-style:italic;">Cemetery Man</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >6. Mondo Macabro </span><br /></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja6TkTFTBEoDV2FZEaOmKs_E_efOFt3rMndpD4cRnY9V1KaPDorkXZ_zGJGnPpYt8CN8eYapOBkWV-bAvtRvh-hfCveiWpU9m1D5WHv7foIkdkJi4rFpOONbiKWoH-hHViJ8mGr8vXmKGJ/s1600/banner17.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja6TkTFTBEoDV2FZEaOmKs_E_efOFt3rMndpD4cRnY9V1KaPDorkXZ_zGJGnPpYt8CN8eYapOBkWV-bAvtRvh-hfCveiWpU9m1D5WHv7foIkdkJi4rFpOONbiKWoH-hHViJ8mGr8vXmKGJ/s320/banner17.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687547864140133586" border="0" /></a><br />Sometimes you need something fresh, something unique, something fucking <span style="font-style:italic;">different</span>. The same old slashers, zombies, ghosts, etc. are feeling stagnant. Hell, even the whackjob <span style="font-style:italic;">giallos</span> are feeling a little too familiar. Well, Mondo Macabro is about as far as you can fucking get from normal when it comes to movies.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixIoSMP4I7lLJKmv6f1cnywdNCBsB3e83lsCSfxeo0y4Xy7vpkhLTLbm9oP_ko55ZjuB-V1RzeAh33WiqUbjl8L2eLBrNQ_wUrT47oOM4FvwiLgV8aispuOoSwcqbtKnBqkwN-g3nFKSvG/s1600/banner18.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixIoSMP4I7lLJKmv6f1cnywdNCBsB3e83lsCSfxeo0y4Xy7vpkhLTLbm9oP_ko55ZjuB-V1RzeAh33WiqUbjl8L2eLBrNQ_wUrT47oOM4FvwiLgV8aispuOoSwcqbtKnBqkwN-g3nFKSvG/s320/banner18.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687547995520794050" border="0" /></a><br />If you want a crash course in cult cinema from all around the world, Mondo Macabro's catalog is all you need. I don't believe any of their titles are from American, with only one or two being in English at all. They truly span the globe; France, Spain, Japan, Bollywood, Filipino, they're all represented here with the most outlandish sights you'll see in a film. Even though some of their titles can still be categorized into categories like a <span style="font-style:italic;">giallo</span> or Pinku eiga, they still manage to go past what you could think is capable in their fields. You ever see disembodied head fly around with its spinal cord and internal organs attached fly around and suck the blood of a baby while still in the womb? You sure as shit will here. Or how about a two-hour+ musical Bollywood ripoff of <span style="font-style:italic;">A Nightmare on Elm Street</span>? You're covered. They've even got Paul fuckin' Naschy in there.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHml2u_L0DHOs5TLim1DmrGXm5d416LrkKz4vHIdpMvAl_gHYIrl3s_4xxHJfrQOh7I-g0AqqeY7I53cJIBlSNd-ciD7gqXi2lGTEtRWtuTP6qrfxtLJk4v0CqNl0SL_45UlcqRj2rSuuc/s1600/banner19.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHml2u_L0DHOs5TLim1DmrGXm5d416LrkKz4vHIdpMvAl_gHYIrl3s_4xxHJfrQOh7I-g0AqqeY7I53cJIBlSNd-ciD7gqXi2lGTEtRWtuTP6qrfxtLJk4v0CqNl0SL_45UlcqRj2rSuuc/s320/banner19.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687548122853513922" border="0" /></a><br />Another aspect that I love about this line, speaking as a collector, is their packaging. The plastic used for the cases are always a bright red, making them stand out from the sea of regular ol' black on the shelves. When placed together, the glaring red calls out from the shelf, almost like the Pied Piper of Crazy Shit. "Hey you! You wanna have an acid trip like your daddy used to write home about?" This line just speaks to me. Besides the unique packaging, it brings me sights from the furthest corners of the world. I'm someone who craves new and unique ideas in film. I'm always pushing and scouring for the most obscure titles possible. With Mondo Macabro, that itch is consistently scratched and for the adventurous film freak, I can't recommend them enough.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu0L1dKJGH8LPiBydmi8R3rFv1yy13px-aJ93c3HQpgX7izQipVcRzarHMiPC_hW-EfdMrbZ5IZJ5a4KFiIqsIsjFdBAINaUW0lfFjsVHE8yyTpxeLl9NSxUmgcEuCW9BX76u_pNxegTQM/s1600/banner20.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu0L1dKJGH8LPiBydmi8R3rFv1yy13px-aJ93c3HQpgX7izQipVcRzarHMiPC_hW-EfdMrbZ5IZJ5a4KFiIqsIsjFdBAINaUW0lfFjsVHE8yyTpxeLl9NSxUmgcEuCW9BX76u_pNxegTQM/s320/banner20.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5687548248055586514" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Favorite Titles:</span> <span style="font-style:italic;">Bollywood Horror Collections 1, 2,</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">3, Blood Rose, Don't Deliver Us From Evil, Mystics in Bali, </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Upcoming Titles:</span> Their most recent title was the Santa-decimating <span style="font-style:italic;">Don't Open Till Christmas</span> with no other titles announced at the moment, but Mondo Macabro takes their time on releases so I'm sure more will be upcoming.<br /><br /><br /><br />Holy damn, did this go long. I just clocked it and it's running at almost 2500 words already. I guess you can tell I'm passionate about this, huh? I was really planning on making this all under one post, but I think for both my benefit and for those of you reading, I'll bring it to a close. I'll get the second part of it up within the next day or two so as to not keep the world in suspense. Until then, I bid you adieu and wish you well on your movie hunting.Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-68235745645422575092011-09-27T18:24:00.000-07:002011-09-27T23:57:56.427-07:0031 Alternative Films for Halloween<span style="font-style:italic;">(Insert the usual excuses for another absence on my part here, employment problems, family health issues, yadda yadda.)</span><br /><br />Well, as everyone probably knows by now, Halloween's almost here once again, and you know what that means, right? Uninspired top ten lists from every non-genre media source imaginable! Because the experts at <span style="font-style:italic;">Entertainment Weekly</span> who also put <span style="font-style:italic;">Glee</span> on their covers three out of four times in the month know exactly what they're talking about!<br /><br />Here's a rundown of what you're going to see on just about every damn list that people will be passing around on Facebook and the like while the sites rack up hit counts (don't even get me started on that one title per page bullshit these sites are doing now): <span style="font-style:italic;">Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Exorcist, Rosemary's Baby, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Shining,</span> etc. They'll also throw in a more contemporary title like <span style="font-style:italic;">Paranormal Activity</span> to be hip and get people debating whether it deserves to be counted. It's the same every year. And why? Even non-horror fans of heard of all these and have most likely seen them by now. Must be hard shooting fish in a barrel.<br /><br />Look, one of the main reasons I bothered to start this blog (and occasionally use, bada-BING!) was to pass the word around about lesser known films and to help discover otherwise overlooked movies. The films these lists perpetuate are great films, I'd never deny that. They are essential viewing for any horror fan, or film nerd in general. Problem is no one's addressing the question of what's next. With that in mind, here are 31 movies that I've noticed are either under-appreciated or just flat-out ignored. One for every day of the month! For you! See what I did there?<br /><br />I tired to find a good mix of just about every kind of horror film out there, from dead serious to completely moronic, just to cover the spectrum of tastes. Are all these movies great? Hell no. No way are these better than the big guns of say <span style="font-style:italic;">The Exorcist</span>, but why live your life on repeat? Take a chance, live a little. These films all have a least a few qualities that worth appreciating and I feel that every one of them are at least entertaining enough to create a fun October.<br /><br />As for me, I'm going to partake in the October Horror Movie Challenge over at <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.dvdtalk.com">DVDTalk</a> where I'm going to see how many horror movies I can watch in a month, of which just about all are going to be first time viewings in order to provide me with a whole new set of ammunition for this blog, lists like this, and a potential Youtube channel. We'll see. If anyone would feel inclined for a fun time and good conversation all about horror, anyone and everyone is encouraged to sign up and participate over there. In the meantime, please enjoy the following films. Find them anyway you can, buying, streaming, whatever you've got to do, man. I'd prefer people to buy and support the releases, especially for the specialty labels such as Code Red, but we all know how money's tight nowadays. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my list of flicks to check out.<br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >1. Paranoiac </span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7Ol10oPKegB8t1bNYA1Q4GlJMVAiPLjHCeVzARM0BmVeWlhCBtHAZ9okxLdxdfNfp4IM10_6NDxMdmn9la8if6AfU3VL97C-TXoa4-2tntBDxLSvjnnqM4g52IlolyPL1f-VyLFHBTQll/s1600/paranoiac.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 189px; height: 280px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7Ol10oPKegB8t1bNYA1Q4GlJMVAiPLjHCeVzARM0BmVeWlhCBtHAZ9okxLdxdfNfp4IM10_6NDxMdmn9la8if6AfU3VL97C-TXoa4-2tntBDxLSvjnnqM4g52IlolyPL1f-VyLFHBTQll/s320/paranoiac.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657275989841345266" border="0" /></a><br />Rather than watching <span style="font-style:italic;">Psycho</span> and it's well-known twist ending <span style="font-style:italic;">(SPOILER: It was a sled)</span> for the 1,000th time, check out this Hammer entry inspired by Hitchcock's opus. A long-thought dead brother returns to upset his family, and Oliver Reed drinks. And drinks. And drinks. It builds up slow with a few good suspense scenes until a pretty satisfying twist ending. It's a fairly overlooked film in Hammer's catalog, probably because it doesn't have their customary takes on the old Universal Monsters, but it's worth checking out, and the boxset with seven other Hammer movies on it is definitely worth hunting down.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >2. Isolation</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibmVPa3u7AXLLmKFHjJQfw-ApP4PNfTGZHzhlwXb1ml-bHEt8RuCk1myy0mOUC7e_ECTrEt5aR7Mml-EpmV5wHYS8QhUV8dkb3sddPx2jcVdwM2PxuGyyhh3j1RmfOThgO20tGyBQg-lpa/s1600/isolation-2005-horror-movie-review-21293152%255B1%255D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 236px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibmVPa3u7AXLLmKFHjJQfw-ApP4PNfTGZHzhlwXb1ml-bHEt8RuCk1myy0mOUC7e_ECTrEt5aR7Mml-EpmV5wHYS8QhUV8dkb3sddPx2jcVdwM2PxuGyyhh3j1RmfOThgO20tGyBQg-lpa/s320/isolation-2005-horror-movie-review-21293152%255B1%255D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657276532049552402" /></a><br />If you're in the mood for something along the lines of Carpenter's <span style="font-style:italic;">The Thing</span> but know that film by heart, check this one out. After messing about with cow genetics, a bovine monster is born and terrorizes a small group of people on the farm that birthed it. It sounds hooky, but the creature and the birth scenes are fairly disturbing and fall in line with the grotesqueness of Bottin's designs. A relatively recent and passed by movie.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >3. Sheitan</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk8X2znTAdZNZ7Vrnx3lxvP4ITqitFSH2FkyldERAkAhCZIhxFCc99qz5j9Lj8tZVbwEtd325ms-XbBDbDU5mc6SIMBgPDLdH1hIUW7byCE-qKTXXAbizfquqiZ2f90EEwC8HWfsQpLqUu/s1600/sheitan_2006.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 222px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk8X2znTAdZNZ7Vrnx3lxvP4ITqitFSH2FkyldERAkAhCZIhxFCc99qz5j9Lj8tZVbwEtd325ms-XbBDbDU5mc6SIMBgPDLdH1hIUW7byCE-qKTXXAbizfquqiZ2f90EEwC8HWfsQpLqUu/s320/sheitan_2006.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657276935928412930" /></a><br />A Frenchie's take on <span style="font-style:italic;">The Texas Chainsaw Massacre</span>. The combination of surreal plot turns, a morbid sense of humor, and highly uncomfortable situations create a film you can't turn away from, even if you desperately want to. Vincent Cassel especially will be hanging around your subconscious for a while after a viewing.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >4. The Convent</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7wqiK6BoHlRhHhE9x_59puZZX0ULrkaa-td5QpXQ-kDspAM7QCZo9EXSRf4yN-HdO2yUO6eGJLZjpE2cYm16jBqHKrpZuB9b_aI9lmEJG_XIjc83zYw7WMZmF6xEznIOLxAWrOn3x0BlW/s1600/475546.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 224px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7wqiK6BoHlRhHhE9x_59puZZX0ULrkaa-td5QpXQ-kDspAM7QCZo9EXSRf4yN-HdO2yUO6eGJLZjpE2cYm16jBqHKrpZuB9b_aI9lmEJG_XIjc83zYw7WMZmF6xEznIOLxAWrOn3x0BlW/s320/475546.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657277287601000018" /></a><br />One of the two main titles I will spout on about every damn year until I hear people actually checking it out. There's nothing new here, really. It's a callback to the classic <span style="font-style:italic;">Night of the Demons</span>, which if you haven't seen that you need to do so promptly, but <span style="font-style:italic;">The Convent</span> treads similar ground with a unique sense of humor and characters that are genuinely fun to watch. A bit goofy, intentionally I feel, but fun as hell. The perfect movie to have on during a party.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >5. Primal Rage</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOlOCWU3SKHLVhY2fBJQVPqHT9iCu8WGjelRJRtZ0E7IOMkK5qBa7eX9h22SU7CfZdMJyhEU5Du3v2YlRJAYUSJgg34Yfpc5Hjrb1FYsL-tbpBoF-ndDM2vpw6KPrkTGxL8esRvQUnC1AL/s1600/Primal-Rage.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOlOCWU3SKHLVhY2fBJQVPqHT9iCu8WGjelRJRtZ0E7IOMkK5qBa7eX9h22SU7CfZdMJyhEU5Du3v2YlRJAYUSJgg34Yfpc5Hjrb1FYsL-tbpBoF-ndDM2vpw6KPrkTGxL8esRvQUnC1AL/s320/Primal-Rage.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657277686637633714" /></a><br />One of the films I've found only through the dvd releases of Code Red. It's a predecessor to films like <span style="font-style:italic;">28 Days Later</span>, but a lot more low-budget and a lot more Italian. Diseased monkeys instill a murderous virus in humans which spreads among a campus. One of the highlights of the film is the Halloween party scene which has the largest assortment of bizarro costumes and masks I've seen, in a film or otherwise. I think the effects guy was allowed to just go nuts and make every mask he could dream up. Great 80's fun.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >6. Lisa and the Devil</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKGnSslBrUWEbGJ5TWr2gsssHTRlgURGgnUsazbfuy3CMQvTx6C1tOjd4J4P1069p8h-c0U2UAdrsO3A3nq70KkTEUgQ3nfru9nJ8Kee1RImHpjZch3Dr31Jtpq23P9NJMzu-zdn2CPy9N/s1600/lisa_and_the_devil_1973.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 211px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKGnSslBrUWEbGJ5TWr2gsssHTRlgURGgnUsazbfuy3CMQvTx6C1tOjd4J4P1069p8h-c0U2UAdrsO3A3nq70KkTEUgQ3nfru9nJ8Kee1RImHpjZch3Dr31Jtpq23P9NJMzu-zdn2CPy9N/s320/lisa_and_the_devil_1973.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657278074515142386" /></a><br />Movies like <span style="font-style:italic;">Black Sunday</span> usually get all the attention from Bava fans, but of the man's work that I've watched thus far, this is probably my favorite. A twisting dream-like excursion through a gothic mansion, with Telly Savalas, who may or may not be Satan, chewing (or should I say sucking) every scene he appears in. A lovely little mind trip. There's an alternate version with new footage that tried to cash in on the <span style="font-style:italic;">Exorcist</span> craze on the same dvd but I haven't gotten around to watching that version yet so I can't tell you if it's worth your time. From what I hear, it's probably not.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >7. Theater of Blood</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgox7-S3WZuQTehbQ01yrKOg37KFUHfexRXFOVDIa48Yq293p3mPP5IDnc8ppQQA2wdu60vSZSYCtQYwLdFFx-seejgIKdiovRRbzrUDvHZ_a7X-MkIMz26YsEM1t5tNS_lAUxMxxqsDlGH/s1600/theater_of_blood_1973.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 204px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgox7-S3WZuQTehbQ01yrKOg37KFUHfexRXFOVDIa48Yq293p3mPP5IDnc8ppQQA2wdu60vSZSYCtQYwLdFFx-seejgIKdiovRRbzrUDvHZ_a7X-MkIMz26YsEM1t5tNS_lAUxMxxqsDlGH/s320/theater_of_blood_1973.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657278590549555074" /></a><br />There's a wealth of Vincent Price movies you can pick from for the holiday, and for your sakes you better watch at least one each year. If you haven't seen it, then I'd throw this one out there for my pick of the year. Price plays a bitter actor who gets his revenge on his critics through murders inspired by Shakespeare plays. The inventiveness of the kills as well as the film's gallows humor combine for a perfect mixture that's great to watch on a crisp fall afternoon.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >8. Dance of the Dead</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYWI4TfOKQCNuUVwB-qxz3Dv9ykhoXHizeFtuLQtQktgI5orYWRMk9dGFSEaiT7SpaqJn3Xa_MZwnDrmcnUaWZ0ar49PALVB2xehXk1Pp3ULSjdGPmQnclWUlJEO4nobR6aU81wv5eyIxn/s1600/dance-of-the-dead-poster.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYWI4TfOKQCNuUVwB-qxz3Dv9ykhoXHizeFtuLQtQktgI5orYWRMk9dGFSEaiT7SpaqJn3Xa_MZwnDrmcnUaWZ0ar49PALVB2xehXk1Pp3ULSjdGPmQnclWUlJEO4nobR6aU81wv5eyIxn/s320/dance-of-the-dead-poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657278997390622498" /></a><br />Only a couple of years old, but it already feels overlooked when you look at how far lesser zombie films have been received in the same time frame. Successfully recreating the sense of humor that was found in <span style="font-style:italic;">The Return of the Living Dead</span> is no easy feat, but to do so in a film that also stands on its own is truly worth commending. It's great to see a truly fun film that calls back to the older classics without falling into the trap of relying solely on fanboyism like so many other indie films have lately.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >9. Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNupI6OvBR9xvIcFSo52eF_VO8sumIFTwLRBoEcZMhl0pFK1xYO048casjlSSITopENZLcxUvL86oU09oAXy-ZnX3_n-bf_Mha4AzUR8cZEj10SinXi3HcItUI-laV2-ne8eCHVSx-rhNC/s1600/jack_brooks_monster_slayer_2007.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNupI6OvBR9xvIcFSo52eF_VO8sumIFTwLRBoEcZMhl0pFK1xYO048casjlSSITopENZLcxUvL86oU09oAXy-ZnX3_n-bf_Mha4AzUR8cZEj10SinXi3HcItUI-laV2-ne8eCHVSx-rhNC/s320/jack_brooks_monster_slayer_2007.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657279252063385890" /></a><br />Speaking of which, how many times have you had to sit through a horror-comedy and watch as yet another movie tries to pass off a pale imitation of Ash from <span style="font-style:italic;">Army of Darkness</span> as the next big thing? How would you like to see a movie that's successful at it? I'm still surprised at how little-seen this film is. The internet horror community seems to know it, but it deserves to catch on with a bigger audience. Jack Brooks as a character is hilarious and compelling that manages to stand as a unique creation, while the film revels in a latex-laden ode to 80's monster movies. Jack's initial meeting with his psychiatrist alone is a scene for the books, in my opinion. It's not high art, but it's goddamn fun.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >10. Dead End</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirYTa1Ee0h7eNkPtfFoCF_myhrrMwslIafjJbJYcxLl7XYm7arpwQwJ-iMcoJC66lmXsc2yHTAjCP3mDe_M8ZwHQw9CcSjMWPpnmLtPDSUJFAEubSO_ivRBLzbP2jzIdCVzo0t4qNdq4vV/s1600/Dead-End.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirYTa1Ee0h7eNkPtfFoCF_myhrrMwslIafjJbJYcxLl7XYm7arpwQwJ-iMcoJC66lmXsc2yHTAjCP3mDe_M8ZwHQw9CcSjMWPpnmLtPDSUJFAEubSO_ivRBLzbP2jzIdCVzo0t4qNdq4vV/s320/Dead-End.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657279551112593186" /></a><br />The other film I will evangelize until the world ends. A family's road trip for the holidays ends up being a trip that's both funny and disturbing, frequently at the same time. The film's worth watching for Ray Wise's performance alone, which will have you questioning why this guy isn't a major name. A perfect example of how great a movie can be with the right combination of good writing, performances, and atmosphere all in a limited location with little means. The one film above any other on this list I'd recommend.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >11. Re-Cycle</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDbSwFeXzmwzWaoKSv3-P2woJn2zFQV7fUqpSCUVTRqMR72nPenlPCMzNApitcbHaSdnq_5PNNb_w0LrpZVpCeRzHdZN0NeoZisjggdfC8DzzYikrsu0LedMSrWv6GmUxZ0Gpn03SkCfyL/s1600/re-cycle.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 223px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDbSwFeXzmwzWaoKSv3-P2woJn2zFQV7fUqpSCUVTRqMR72nPenlPCMzNApitcbHaSdnq_5PNNb_w0LrpZVpCeRzHdZN0NeoZisjggdfC8DzzYikrsu0LedMSrWv6GmUxZ0Gpn03SkCfyL/s320/re-cycle.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657279887128783186" /></a><br />Maybe not a full horror film, but there's enough upsetting imagery and atmosphere to qualify it enough. It mostly takes place in the dreamscape, creating the opportunity for Asian horror's answer to Tarsem's visual spectacles. As well as a few tense sequences, the end's just heartbreaking making for a nice, more thought provoking film to counteract the usual crassness of the genre. The film came out just a bit after the bubble burst for Asian horror here in the U.S. but it's well worth checking out. Especially if you're burned out on the whole long-haired girl with the haunted Ipod thing they've been doing for over a decade.<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><br />12. Tales From Crypt (1972</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">)</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikBfmmgfzdugjv-rYVBTAd2LThbeDQ9jSPQkyz8_U9iDbcSTRSaIKhy4xsh4cqQdvaj3g1sOa568_dnMQ5sGamhXWEL0pviuU97fHoSD8WVdTmHBO_QRGmvZrIA8TDcCOhldxGB4uLSza4/s1600/tales_from_the_crypt_1972.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikBfmmgfzdugjv-rYVBTAd2LThbeDQ9jSPQkyz8_U9iDbcSTRSaIKhy4xsh4cqQdvaj3g1sOa568_dnMQ5sGamhXWEL0pviuU97fHoSD8WVdTmHBO_QRGmvZrIA8TDcCOhldxGB4uLSza4/s320/tales_from_the_crypt_1972.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657293318575290146" /></a><br />Probably a more familiar title to those who are fans of older horror, but there's a few generations now that aren't as well versed with this one. Before the puppet cackled for HBO, the Cryptkeeper was played with his usual British elegance by Sir Ralph Richardson, who dispensed with the customary stories of bad choices and twisted morals. For no other reason, it should be watched for Peter Cushing's story which remains one of the few sequences in film that moved me to tears.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >13. Vengeance of the Zombies</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1a8SsXnuyPyu5MIjrZrZxKUw02DcgpL8JfmQsmoaMhdH3XTENWsX_zOpPUf-IIK4eJSYoqBJPXCG_CHce8t65fKjQrY8N9gr9PLLUsR3BpMmYfA-G1-j8U_fdvQ7MyZ61G8StuAfOwpaB/s1600/vengeance.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 190px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1a8SsXnuyPyu5MIjrZrZxKUw02DcgpL8JfmQsmoaMhdH3XTENWsX_zOpPUf-IIK4eJSYoqBJPXCG_CHce8t65fKjQrY8N9gr9PLLUsR3BpMmYfA-G1-j8U_fdvQ7MyZ61G8StuAfOwpaB/s320/vengeance.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657293847111038082" /></a><br />Probably not the best place to start with Paul Naschy, but dammit, I love the weird ones. A combination of Bava-like gothic sensibilities, giallo, and old-fashioned voodoo zombies, the film is definitely not for those who enjoy logic. But if you love being draped in the dream logic of Eurohorror, this is going to be a good time. Plus it's got all the Naschy hallmarks, including playing three(!) roles, bedding numerous women, and displaying his manliness at every opportunity.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >14. Blood and Black Lace</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZCBZWzLcNYt8nF3bXlbuB96XJk4dcFCoxDH9N3FVkZf6LQIZkYkxZqERsCw5TB1GQwrfLGLJ03CYAT_lvnnDdJqASnlkUAYqgL-pJgvfhNb-U6Pv_bNB35KHia_PNJ8BvV7MDl1WS5u1D/s1600/blood_black_lace_poster_01.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZCBZWzLcNYt8nF3bXlbuB96XJk4dcFCoxDH9N3FVkZf6LQIZkYkxZqERsCw5TB1GQwrfLGLJ03CYAT_lvnnDdJqASnlkUAYqgL-pJgvfhNb-U6Pv_bNB35KHia_PNJ8BvV7MDl1WS5u1D/s320/blood_black_lace_poster_01.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657294121052884098" /></a><br />I threw this in mainly for historical purposes in case someone comes by and is interested in dabbling into the pool of the giallo since I know a lot of horror aficionados are at least aware of this one. Considered to be the first true giallo, this murder mystery is filled with the Bava touches that made his films so succulent. Blues, reds, oh my! Start with this one and go on to discover all of the lurid offspring it created.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >15. Home Movie</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZdM4QZrPtt4jz5ZtnaGqyJSZX56Rc3wKfZajviclQhektTy-XRcQjvKNLNb5uqc_lBZdUupE25xeOuQPAjZW_zRKl0cw7XAhx9j9e4Aa_CdfBF8ybeQxmPJceq8j2NI478Dbx0GtdNiUq/s1600/home-movie-2359768-462.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 224px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZdM4QZrPtt4jz5ZtnaGqyJSZX56Rc3wKfZajviclQhektTy-XRcQjvKNLNb5uqc_lBZdUupE25xeOuQPAjZW_zRKl0cw7XAhx9j9e4Aa_CdfBF8ybeQxmPJceq8j2NI478Dbx0GtdNiUq/s320/home-movie-2359768-462.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657294446427241282" /></a><br />With all the interest in found footage movies, this one was completely skipped over. A priest comes to discover how evil children can be while filming home videos of his family. It gives you just enough to leave you bugged out by the time the film ends but never tips its hand and ruins the effect, creating a tense little movie that'll creep up on you later as you think it over.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >16. Malefique</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI3FeOwMV8PrqBg_rKD6bDwZ6UrW7WA7TVBAMIV_eKNUNKx7CRrk_-olzg3CSI06LdzpeH862gW8Z25iBbrvpXuHrUVY91IAKpIaWH9FuPayBIIx2OtAjXXAyQN7GozNupCoJMUcy-vXaK/s1600/Malefique.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiI3FeOwMV8PrqBg_rKD6bDwZ6UrW7WA7TVBAMIV_eKNUNKx7CRrk_-olzg3CSI06LdzpeH862gW8Z25iBbrvpXuHrUVY91IAKpIaWH9FuPayBIIx2OtAjXXAyQN7GozNupCoJMUcy-vXaK/s320/Malefique.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657294793092475554" /></a><br />A tight little movie that primarily takes place in one jail cell, showing just effective economy of space can be with a little bit of good writing. Four inmates find a book of spells but of course receive more than they bargained for once they try their hand at it. With it's Lovecraftian feel and an odd sense of humor, it'll feel right at home alongside the likes of <span style="font-style:italic;">From Beyond</span>. And of course, for his efforts, what do we offer the director? The remake of <span style="font-style:italic;">One Missed Call</span>. Poor son of a bitch.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >17. Dead & Buried</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4RQTTXhSre2eWQLzCS7Xs7Kb0yZbhJHtUaSbvh8zINBSaIa__jmggo7S19mjqxpCBIzaTXABMRwsrT4qlL8KVhUebLyFM4eyHCZunUybHZ4T5BLHAQfJYkVb371leAD6iVIVYIcgO-O55/s1600/dead-and-buried-movie-poster-1981-1010193215.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 210px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4RQTTXhSre2eWQLzCS7Xs7Kb0yZbhJHtUaSbvh8zINBSaIa__jmggo7S19mjqxpCBIzaTXABMRwsrT4qlL8KVhUebLyFM4eyHCZunUybHZ4T5BLHAQfJYkVb371leAD6iVIVYIcgO-O55/s320/dead-and-buried-movie-poster-1981-1010193215.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657295089594506530" /></a><br />This not-quite a zombie film has developed a strong cult following but deserves a larger audience. The denizens of a coastal town take a strong dislike to tourists, at least until their corpses start walking around. A beautifully shot, well written little horror film with a few squirm inducing moments that has flown under the radar too long. Just quality film-making.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >18. Trick or Treat</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwe8eweXn3uQSaHD6PlBqaIRPu6SZHw_0gj6ODu1_zrToBCz-W99n0SxGcmEgdudS4Ek2Q_pW3Wg-Wn3PcIiB18Z6tKt8YCN6L8TKlWLfAB_1YUkbxVAIh8ISWtUqjxBYlHy5AMBdUNvzV/s1600/trick-or-treat-movie-poster-1986-1010366290.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 206px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwe8eweXn3uQSaHD6PlBqaIRPu6SZHw_0gj6ODu1_zrToBCz-W99n0SxGcmEgdudS4Ek2Q_pW3Wg-Wn3PcIiB18Z6tKt8YCN6L8TKlWLfAB_1YUkbxVAIh8ISWtUqjxBYlHy5AMBdUNvzV/s320/trick-or-treat-movie-poster-1986-1010366290.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657295344440618178" /></a><br />The internet has been abuzz the last few years for Michael Dougherty's <span style="font-style:italic;">Trick 'R Treat</span>, but let's not forget the other flick that'll pop up in a Google search. It basically boils down to Skippy vs. Heavy Metal, directed by the fucking accountant from <span style="font-style:italic;">The Untouchables</span>. You'll never forget such moments as a demonic entrance via a record played backwards or a woman assaulted by a monster unleashed through her walkman (TM.). A perfect example of the fun 80's horror would frequently provide and which is sadly little-seen today.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >19. Contamination</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmoxS6OZ1zP6iRlXto1V45odgym8AV-eYWjy70FAyDBVujChStmoXwz3KuXkNC64KAwQbksI7uD9pNKc_ex7DhKQZZjqU0a5qHDBEJC-M1z1nDOp1ZrC2U6fsf3Oz7cx4Fzzdgolc6rowA/s1600/contamination-cover.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 317px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmoxS6OZ1zP6iRlXto1V45odgym8AV-eYWjy70FAyDBVujChStmoXwz3KuXkNC64KAwQbksI7uD9pNKc_ex7DhKQZZjqU0a5qHDBEJC-M1z1nDOp1ZrC2U6fsf3Oz7cx4Fzzdgolc6rowA/s320/contamination-cover.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657295793454391762" /></a><br />You love <span style="font-style:italic;">Alien</span>? You wanna see a complete bastardization in the grand style of Italian exploitation? Then look no further! Never again will there be such a record number of stupefying putrefying and gravity defying explosions of bodily goo! Beware the most gag-inducing egg sacs ever committed to celluloid! Beware the bird-beak of the asparagus mother alien! Find a copy! Today! Exclamations!<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >20. Just Before Dawn</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4jvJsLsgxKoTod6n-xdMk9ox3GNYfmyeYdVlGvJxjJX7mPpCRVYjsshp5z4Vn9qWmHQXBOTjvHqzFds6iiiEVdVscEwN7ZvcDm8p1-dt-DSs4YADWt8dr0D3X4SEqo7FVgxjy4e-3UYmR/s1600/just-before-dawn.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 212px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4jvJsLsgxKoTod6n-xdMk9ox3GNYfmyeYdVlGvJxjJX7mPpCRVYjsshp5z4Vn9qWmHQXBOTjvHqzFds6iiiEVdVscEwN7ZvcDm8p1-dt-DSs4YADWt8dr0D3X4SEqo7FVgxjy4e-3UYmR/s320/just-before-dawn.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657296039421876402" /></a><br />A morality tale to promote the awareness of the legions of crazed rednecks in the Oregonian woods. Though in reality, you'll probably just a find a gaggle of hipsters going green or whatever they call it nowadays. Essentially, a backwoods horror film with young kids running afoul of hillbilly murderers, this one stands out thanks to great photography, excellent pacing, and a truly whack job of an ending. Boy howdy!<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >21. Flashback</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1HvwFiEpyRSpxJtS2YrNJTVqj-k6aTZpljpy38h1zHGGG2KAOxpbMpPKn4-DABsqmktg_w_PRDgilz24uik_R0PWM-fQXO9ckRI4W1EAwC4hsABEuJJkra_lAw9JBJHl8TZNslTfyAu_F/s1600/200full.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 290px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1HvwFiEpyRSpxJtS2YrNJTVqj-k6aTZpljpy38h1zHGGG2KAOxpbMpPKn4-DABsqmktg_w_PRDgilz24uik_R0PWM-fQXO9ckRI4W1EAwC4hsABEuJJkra_lAw9JBJHl8TZNslTfyAu_F/s320/200full.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657297159082494146" /></a><br />A slasher from Germany, this one will definitely surprise you, especially if you're expecting another early-DV shot shitfest that littered video shelves through out the first half of the 2000s. Even though the dvd here is full-frame and dubbed, the beautiful cinematography and mischievous sense of humor still shines through. I've never seen a movie revel in its own wickedness as I did in this one's final act. Definitely a little known gem that should be sought out.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >22. Satan's Little Helper</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOvdxwcYbdqqj_lrd0EF5SWudjUtP7AY8EgItU4tFVVyIK2YRtW-nymkwVI1-tSEy18JeIa8jiDqOMLt2MbF4n4-Wkoa3Y05oKUVZorUb5tPE3866KtRiYTYL4QL02IUQ0dWjn4Z5mG2Me/s1600/Satans-Little-Helper-2004-Hollywood-Movie-Watch-Online.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 226px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOvdxwcYbdqqj_lrd0EF5SWudjUtP7AY8EgItU4tFVVyIK2YRtW-nymkwVI1-tSEy18JeIa8jiDqOMLt2MbF4n4-Wkoa3Y05oKUVZorUb5tPE3866KtRiYTYL4QL02IUQ0dWjn4Z5mG2Me/s320/Satans-Little-Helper-2004-Hollywood-Movie-Watch-Online.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657297474818946290" /></a><br />If you just want a movie with a flat out fucked up sense of humor, this is your target. Probably one of the most twisted movies released in years, a little boy goes about helping his beloved Satan as he goes about murdering and terrorizing about a small northeastern island. Through it all, it somehow convinces you that what you're watching is hilarious. What a pair of balls on this one.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >23. Vampire Killers</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDcGbo_AwXF8b3qrxAdWjn-ymgz1wluMrEN0WMb6eBVT1h5bILE3AA_oHvJQA1WXevBQBstIAhLvrAR2bYMrsG1hqIfS89g-jg1p1XjTtNxYnaLbXYwdUf-XYFYwDdzURMVkx5xjAYehUr/s1600/cover-620823-Lesbian-Vampire-Killers-movie2k-film.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 317px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDcGbo_AwXF8b3qrxAdWjn-ymgz1wluMrEN0WMb6eBVT1h5bILE3AA_oHvJQA1WXevBQBstIAhLvrAR2bYMrsG1hqIfS89g-jg1p1XjTtNxYnaLbXYwdUf-XYFYwDdzURMVkx5xjAYehUr/s320/cover-620823-Lesbian-Vampire-Killers-movie2k-film.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657297816619270146" /></a><br />Let's be frank, a hell of a lot of imitators set out among the fallout of <span style="font-style:italic;">Shaun of the Dead</span> to capture some of the same success. Thus far, this is the only one to come close to the quality of the aforementioned film. Created by the team behind the quality BBC show <span style="font-style:italic;">Gavin & Stacey</span>, the film sees a pair of dolts out for female accompaniment get caught up in a centuries old plot involving...lesbian vampires. It has a similar sense of humor as <span style="font-style:italic;">Shaun</span> but manages to carve its own identity as it goes. The final shot in the movie is just uproarious.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >24. Blood Dolls</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDzAxw7DYZUUpxQoSlmv7s2FmahX69TvUG3MfDITvGwrtlNEPGKEXSP5AQXizpsEiE5273i928ekTFtvXipchFyW1JEZBMZfnPQuHZJDUtdsR3F2fyBOtvblmBO8zI2kjviTtg_D9lLfYm/s1600/BloodDolls.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 192px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDzAxw7DYZUUpxQoSlmv7s2FmahX69TvUG3MfDITvGwrtlNEPGKEXSP5AQXizpsEiE5273i928ekTFtvXipchFyW1JEZBMZfnPQuHZJDUtdsR3F2fyBOtvblmBO8zI2kjviTtg_D9lLfYm/s320/BloodDolls.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657298086175390770" /></a><br />Now, you've got a lot of options when it comes to Charles Band and tiny terrors. But nothing matches the sheer absurdity of this film. There is not one aspect of this movie that comes close to reality or logic. Everything and everyone is unhinged, leaving you with a giant case of <span style="font-style:italic;">What the Fuck?</span> as it ends, leaving you not sure if you should be giddy or get some fresh air to remember what sanity was.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >25. The Possession of David O'Reilly </span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-yoGEW9TVxirQYSI-21c71qgsho1FbT9jDaeIDp_oqUo8MGUb_39QeG8cvnNxU2XrNA1vmteinfI5t3vxn2SOxckOf9fye_E_mNPdI2J9IQZ5IxtCSkgrX43we-1wAOvn_HaPp0tAqXn7/s1600/The-Possession-of-David-Reilly.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 203px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-yoGEW9TVxirQYSI-21c71qgsho1FbT9jDaeIDp_oqUo8MGUb_39QeG8cvnNxU2XrNA1vmteinfI5t3vxn2SOxckOf9fye_E_mNPdI2J9IQZ5IxtCSkgrX43we-1wAOvn_HaPp0tAqXn7/s320/The-Possession-of-David-Reilly.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657298542886542786" /></a><br />You'd be forgiven for passing by this film's horribly nondescript cover on Netflix Instant. But that shouldn't stop you from going back and checking out a fairly creepy and frightening film. It manages to find that perfect sweet spot of showing you just enough and leaving the rest to your imagination, creating moments of pure terror. Forgotten to the world for the most part, this one is at least readily available.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >26. The Ugly</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9lPW_aIyvClxRaPcVx2YwRhiAMGvgthmfnbVBxKGfRURGPZ6sZsHl4ErWKqcAEY8I2NVSUNsTkOXQjR4Gi80hEDHeyWMMYzrTcOeBLqdTUz9fMEhOkOTQ3on7HRpj48HYPwxgNQwc2tDB/s1600/the-ugly-dvd-cover.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 220px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9lPW_aIyvClxRaPcVx2YwRhiAMGvgthmfnbVBxKGfRURGPZ6sZsHl4ErWKqcAEY8I2NVSUNsTkOXQjR4Gi80hEDHeyWMMYzrTcOeBLqdTUz9fMEhOkOTQ3on7HRpj48HYPwxgNQwc2tDB/s320/the-ugly-dvd-cover.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657298913221710562" /></a><br />At first glance, this might appear to be a take off on <span style="font-style:italic;">Silence of the Lambs</span>, and that approach is probably how they got their funding, but it delves into a smaller, more intimate case study of a disturbed young man. The performances in the film are top notch and the climax will haunt you for a while upon viewing, which is why I'm still surprised how little known the film is some fourteen years after its release.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >27. Biozombie</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDiNkFJBh47Pvw7kvCIYVC26u0zf9Z4510afrlIUwJyJPdr0i6uu5IFY_iUzqTc1Oem5WffBP3vEIpiZ1hXrOwpf8VxNS3wTvfRRgO3znFtAxZffKzeXAAkRd2j_ZbIGUaTHe56JBjAM7X/s1600/Bio-Zombie-DVD-Cover.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 226px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDiNkFJBh47Pvw7kvCIYVC26u0zf9Z4510afrlIUwJyJPdr0i6uu5IFY_iUzqTc1Oem5WffBP3vEIpiZ1hXrOwpf8VxNS3wTvfRRgO3znFtAxZffKzeXAAkRd2j_ZbIGUaTHe56JBjAM7X/s320/Bio-Zombie-DVD-Cover.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657299152413150642" /></a><br />And now for something completely different. A Japanese punk rock zombie comedy, which is frequently hilarious. Filled with reprehensible characters, it's an overall nihilistic movie that exists solely for zombie mayhem and crass humor. And it's glorious. For an unabashedly filthy good time, this is your best option.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >28. Curse of the Fly </span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh15WTktNLpMEH751Dq9kXyHoQY63Rdg643u3Nzmu1C961fiCHI_q_sqzhWM58Q_TozidHQCWF68Z1qMPU0wMUry-kT_0ZhbNr2k6KNaoWdiRvbhg_eZeYGYQihau-F7EtCJ4L93MN-4etM/s1600/curseofthefly.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 174px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh15WTktNLpMEH751Dq9kXyHoQY63Rdg643u3Nzmu1C961fiCHI_q_sqzhWM58Q_TozidHQCWF68Z1qMPU0wMUry-kT_0ZhbNr2k6KNaoWdiRvbhg_eZeYGYQihau-F7EtCJ4L93MN-4etM/s320/curseofthefly.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657299665263243234" /></a><br />The original <span style="font-style:italic;">Fly</span> and Cronenberg's remake are well known, but the third installment of the original series is an often passed over gem, offering tragedy of Shakespearean proportions in the guise of a B-horror movie. I do believe that I have never watched as depressing a horror film amongst what would be considered the "classic" era. There may not be much in terms of an actual Fly monster, but the title does not deceive. This deals with the consequences of the legacy left behind from the original film, leaving no character untouched by the time it reaches its conclusion. Heavy stuff for its era.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >29. Christmas Evil</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGRvqWk4fsAPaoMpvyxp85pTqTTIygOilXa5fyqYxPQA9EaUkCryVfHIeiglZJruCA_YC1rtVcNScFVilWo_FuXAPjMAd50-ilE1z89tqLU5T-w-ioB7gN99ivWmCzI2PiX4jvDS7A6iJ2/s1600/christmas-evil-movie-poster.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 223px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGRvqWk4fsAPaoMpvyxp85pTqTTIygOilXa5fyqYxPQA9EaUkCryVfHIeiglZJruCA_YC1rtVcNScFVilWo_FuXAPjMAd50-ilE1z89tqLU5T-w-ioB7gN99ivWmCzI2PiX4jvDS7A6iJ2/s320/christmas-evil-movie-poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657299953212786706" /></a><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Black Christmas</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Silent Night Deadly Night</span> tend to steal the thunder when it comes to Christmas themed horror movies, but if you want another slice of crazed, yuletide fun, this would be a great runner-up. A sad little man keeps track of all who's been naughty or nice all year long, waiting for Christmas to let his mind snap and dole out "gifts" before concluding with a baffling final farewell shot. Guaranteed fun times.<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><br />30. The Bloody Pit of Horror</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAfW5ThLmQlCterdhOdXX8nCVkkE6UZyxghTnJKrEs-Exkx8VOBchyphenhyphenKBG3tOWSVVHP_f0eRnH2ZboEsJWqVaiD7DioX0rFNvP1mnc21brP0AyJjkaJwebN5rIV2socitU8gNAukzQKf8sZ/s1600/bloody-pit-of-horror-movie-poster-1967-1010486515.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAfW5ThLmQlCterdhOdXX8nCVkkE6UZyxghTnJKrEs-Exkx8VOBchyphenhyphenKBG3tOWSVVHP_f0eRnH2ZboEsJWqVaiD7DioX0rFNvP1mnc21brP0AyJjkaJwebN5rIV2socitU8gNAukzQKf8sZ/s320/bloody-pit-of-horror-movie-poster-1967-1010486515.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657300253878435010" /></a><br />A bizarro slice of cheese, this oddball concerns a group of models arriving to a decrepit mansion (yet it looks so chic...) only to find a deranged man believing himself to be an executioner from the Middle Ages calling it home, and doesn't particularly like interlopers. Basically, it involves women succumbing to the ridiculous traps of a man who dresses and and acts like a rejected villain from the 60's <span style="font-style:italic;">Batman</span> series. It's as hilarious as it sounds.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >31. American Gothic</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPOrM45u5nZlkcG7d4S6jNKbpr8qeWSsxRTzC_jO3SiqnnnWfmm4b6yMgwJNfIKPRt9wogkGRI3w5F90jCarkmV0C3n1t0EiPLflf6vxpx1J67TdxO6olBV_iG84Q8dqzwnLqBWhK_k3Z5/s1600/american_gothic.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 184px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPOrM45u5nZlkcG7d4S6jNKbpr8qeWSsxRTzC_jO3SiqnnnWfmm4b6yMgwJNfIKPRt9wogkGRI3w5F90jCarkmV0C3n1t0EiPLflf6vxpx1J67TdxO6olBV_iG84Q8dqzwnLqBWhK_k3Z5/s320/american_gothic.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5657300469279627618" /></a><br />Yes, this gleefully totes its connection to the famous painting all over its cover, which would make you believe it takes place on a traditional mid-western farm, yes? Well, no. It's set among the coastal cliffs of an island off the Pacific Northwest. And that's not all that's whacked in this movie that involves more backwoods terror as a group of young people (aren't they all?) stumble across a family seemingly stuck in the 19th century, and two fifty year olds mentally stuck as children. Pretty crazy fun that many may remember from its VHS cover when perusing the rental shelves, but not as many have actually seen it. Now's as good a time as any.Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-46495664102529582702011-05-24T17:25:00.000-07:002011-05-24T19:14:33.355-07:00Screen Fiend: Scream 4<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV-fs0LR0QHeBGu6LQtkx214ghhWFOyiDHx9McsZeITYzB_EOZajJsITt1OD_Zna2xDKYaslRlcyjFrBXgtS3TwHdzWza5oVy6ITmXVCiRDg1cCXkjUOuNbbFFpiZZ3Rnm5QcvIgCRw6z7/s1600/scream_4_new_decade_new_rules_poster.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 222px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV-fs0LR0QHeBGu6LQtkx214ghhWFOyiDHx9McsZeITYzB_EOZajJsITt1OD_Zna2xDKYaslRlcyjFrBXgtS3TwHdzWza5oVy6ITmXVCiRDg1cCXkjUOuNbbFFpiZZ3Rnm5QcvIgCRw6z7/s320/scream_4_new_decade_new_rules_poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610469249693734338" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(Screen Fiend will be for movies I manage to catch at the theater, fyi)</span><br /><br />I might be late to this party, but when have I ever been timely?<br /><br />About a month before this came out, I watched all three <span style="font-style: italic;">Scream</span> movies one after another. I hadn't watched any of them in at least a decade and they just kind if meandered in my memories, existing in a haze of "they're alright." So with the arrival of newest entry, whose existence is due solely to the Weinstein's turning to established franchises of the past in a bid to cover their company's bankruptcy, I decided to give the old ones a go before they got boxed in with everything else in preparation for our move. Frankly, I was surprised. They all held up as genuinely fun movies with characters that were enduring even today. I even enjoyed the third one which I remember leaving the theater not thinking too kindly on it. While my problems with Wes Craven may not be well documented yet, I'm sure they will be at some point, I'll have to say that these three movies hold up better than just about anything on his resume. Now, we just have to worry about a decade newcomer to see if it tarnishes them.<br /><br />Beware of spoilers ahoy, though I'll give an extra big warning before I get to the denouement.<br /><br />The beginning almost lost me. It tried to be funny and clever, but the acting and dialog were horrible. I don't know if they were pushing it to be a parody of Kevin Williamson's writing, or it just ended up that way as a result of the forced reshoots, though that doesn't explain the score beating you over the head like a baby seal.<br /><br />After the customary initial attack, we find Officer Dewey and Gale, who looks like a botox machine was possessed and attacked her repeatedly, are waking up to their hum-drum small town life on the same day Sidney shows up to hawk her book, essentially selling the message of <span style="font-style: italic;">Look, I Stopped Whining, and So Can You!</span>. Dewey's trying to be the big man in town while Gale's forced to be the bored housewife, having traded her own <span style="font-style: italic;">get the story</span> drive for tedium in the face of middle age and settling down, jealous of Sidney's success. When the murders start back up, it gives her the push to go out and accomplish something once again, but at the same time finds herself at odds with Dewey's authority. Sidney's...well...she's still the same. Kind of mopey and sullen the whole time, though at this point it's probably understandable. Having roughly thirty friends and family sliced and diced affects a person somehow. I never did find her to have much of a personality other than being the straight man to the series, but at least here when she's confronted with Ghostface, she's been around the block enough to know to just hit the fucker. They usually end up being little twerps anyways, nothing that can't stand up to a good tackle.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzOu0UurpzjWgw4TpsUxHt5SU_TJRAo8tJfz1_ZjLHWpBs6w1_41VfEDF7azN1caThMF_q6pSk6xby1gNHN_n5yJQXCIaEA9AXFpFB0wAivlSRA8r8zRAkuzQXNbX-lcmPf0DUnWS76Lmp/s1600/scream-4-image.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 216px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzOu0UurpzjWgw4TpsUxHt5SU_TJRAo8tJfz1_ZjLHWpBs6w1_41VfEDF7azN1caThMF_q6pSk6xby1gNHN_n5yJQXCIaEA9AXFpFB0wAivlSRA8r8zRAkuzQXNbX-lcmPf0DUnWS76Lmp/s320/scream-4-image.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610470384395908338" /></a><br /><br />Besides the big three, there's a new group of students being prepped for the new audience the producers are trying to endure themselves to. Emma Roberts plays Sidney's niece in about the same way Neve Campbell plays Sydney, the Final Girl, the middle of the road character that all their fringe friends with more personality traits revolve around. Such friends are actually one of the highlights of the movie. Rory Culkin does a great job of playing the "Randy" role while not actually aping his performance in any way. The same goes for Erik Knudsen stepping in for Matthew Lillard. Hayden Panettiere fills in the blonde best friend role, but has a more developed and fun role than is usually given in a slasher film. Nico Tortorella is given the Skeet Ulrich role, but seems to be impersonating a piece of wood for the majority of the movie. I know they were trying to have him play the most glaring red herring, but he seemed mentally deficient up until the end, where a glimpse of how funny his character could be pops up before disappearing again. There's a few other roles here and there played by fun actors, but for the most part they're just there to be either red herrings or meat for the machine.<br /><br />A real testament for the movie is how it introduced a whole new set of characters, obviously as a shoe-in for a muted "reboot" that all franchises are trying to accomplish. These kids legitimately feel like they're in high school, versus guys in their mid to late thirties as featured in even the original <span style="font-style: italic;">Scream</span>. Normally in situations like this, I feel kind of bitter at these types of characters since as a viewer, you grow attached to the recurring characters over the time-span of the series and the knowledge that these guys are being groomed for replacements, i.e. <span style="font-style: italic;">Kingdom of the Crystal Skull</span> et al. In this, I never felt that way. I didn't mind when the movie cut to them and moved away from the power trio from the other films, primarily because their characters were handled well and they kept the movie fresh. For a bonus, the movie takes this reboot approach and chucks it out the window by the time the ending comes along.<br /><br />As the movie goes on, there's the typical stalk and slash scenes thrown around as the characters try to figure out what's going on. A scene involving a neighbor's house sets up how much more brutal the kills are in this one, leaving some of the most gruesome imagery in the series which helps nurture our investment when Sydney comes face to face with the killer and she doesn't hesitate to kick his ass. One kill in particular was so bizarrely absurd and at the same time wince inducing, I wasn't sure if I should have laughed or been appalled. It involves a knife and a cranium if you want to know which one. A set piece at a <span style="font-style: italic;">Stab</span> party creates a heavy dose of tension when one of the core characters are placed in real danger while at the same time using society's constant use of cameras as a source of terror. In fact, through out the whole movie, there's little jabs at the way technology's changed the way things are handled in slasher films. When someone is killed, there's no way to stop the entire wave of texts sent by the legion of teenagers and their phones. POV cameras are used to allude to the recent trend of found footage movies as well as our seemingly constant need to achieve higher levels of reality in media. The greatest irony in the movie comes in the ending where the film that was being marketed as a reboot for new audiences turns into a parody of that very notion.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2HQET8O3eVuHmI2_8OmW8jZ2YzsYcXyCpG5nWGKB7N_njj8waf_N-QJ5aHcO-P5HX_fyIafSptOj2G3Qvl0_E-lhGqgP6joh_lHV9hvShDzHVGp9GWvWYdJpOHBm7NxNr11t-3NCHYJ7f/s1600/scream4fb3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2HQET8O3eVuHmI2_8OmW8jZ2YzsYcXyCpG5nWGKB7N_njj8waf_N-QJ5aHcO-P5HX_fyIafSptOj2G3Qvl0_E-lhGqgP6joh_lHV9hvShDzHVGp9GWvWYdJpOHBm7NxNr11t-3NCHYJ7f/s320/scream4fb3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610471052591425874" /></a><br /><br /><br />***SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING AHEAD***<br /><br />***I"M NOT EVEN FUCKING KIDDING, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT, JUST SKIP ALONG***<br /><br />***DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU***<br /><br />I halfway guessed the ending early on in the movie simply because I thought how awesome on an idea it'd be if they did it, never really thinking they would. You could imagine how happy I was to see they actually went for it. Sydney's niece and Culkin boy using the exact same idea most producers have with remakes to carry out their plan was ingenious, calling out out need to recycle and return to well worn roads over and over again. They recreate the exact same setup as the original's ending, but with the plan to edge out the "old" stars and replace it with a fresh new face, using today's social media to push themselves into the now vacated spotlight and providing a fresh face for the teens out there. Everything Emma Roberts spits out for her reasoning probably passed the lips of big time producers at same point in time. When the victory of the beloved characters that we've stuck by all these years comes, it creates a heartwarming feel of accomplishment in the viewer. The ending is violent, funny, intelligent, and genuinely surprising. I'd already place it pretty high among slasher film endings if that tells you how much I enjoyed the last third of this movie. And that's without Sydney's final line of "Never fuck with the original!", an earnest battle cry horror fiends have been screaming for years.<br /><br /><br />******************<br /><br /><br />******************<br /><br /><br />*****SPOILERS OVER! COMMENCE!**********<br /><br /><br /><br />The film as a whole is one of the rare birds where I hated the beginning but it slowly got better as the run time went on, until I absolutely loved the ending. I still say Wes Craven has no style, seriously try to pick out anything that stands out as being <span style="font-style: italic;">his</span>, but I really believe that the strengths of this franchise lay in the writing. The main three characters all have a purpose aren't there to simply exist because it was expected. They have their own problems and paths that they try to go down alone but find they still need the strength of each other. The new characters are all fully realized played by competent actors, save for the ones that appear the least, leading to some hope for new teen oriented slashers in the future. It's the combination of these strong characters along with the love of the genre that it knows the audience has that leads to such an effective and satisfying ending. It's a movie that feels like seeing an old friend again and leaves you with hope for the future after so many depressing years. Why this did so badly at the box office? I'd say mostly because they threw it out there just expecting that same audience to be there without really hyping it up for the new teens out there. They say that a part <span style="font-style: italic;">5</span> is still going to happen, but if it never comes to be I'll be content. Besides every new entry is another opportunity to really retcon the shit out of it and say something moronic like Sydney and Gale are sisters and their real dad was an evil priest and offers sacrifices to the Ghostface god and...well, that's enough of that. I'll be that guy to go ahead and say this is the best in the series, and the greatest example of there being new tales to tell rather than hitting the "restart" button.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >Grade: B+</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8OffOtp-RF_ZvlH7SuQXJXze3gDhyphenhyphenSNCK2eWtKvlHeD8GeYNGjsyM-HuQONmLgJoxWfEWL-vWlNx19LSXlKS_BBmhA07kjdpMS4EkLPWMmdLhyP9ohFHXk3ZIk8xs261ABNZR5uukzL5J/s1600/Scream-4-Review.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 197px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8OffOtp-RF_ZvlH7SuQXJXze3gDhyphenhyphenSNCK2eWtKvlHeD8GeYNGjsyM-HuQONmLgJoxWfEWL-vWlNx19LSXlKS_BBmhA07kjdpMS4EkLPWMmdLhyP9ohFHXk3ZIk8xs261ABNZR5uukzL5J/s320/Scream-4-Review.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610471216852530402" /></a>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-82847968573848043222011-05-24T16:56:00.000-07:002011-05-24T17:19:52.445-07:00This Blog Needs an Enema<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg39svPGJRcq0NPQtcbcnI0LKCUNlGy56COWb6IayvOmOX6gBtP9rkU9bmvWjvRGT-mkqDX5gSEOLbTKnamIVrjU5SmR2TV6-aZY1ZXflWx0fD3jmRSTmEdheurz9lORqqbNbKGo7yvrRUB/s1600/SCREAMPLAY_web.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 290px; height: 243px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg39svPGJRcq0NPQtcbcnI0LKCUNlGy56COWb6IayvOmOX6gBtP9rkU9bmvWjvRGT-mkqDX5gSEOLbTKnamIVrjU5SmR2TV6-aZY1ZXflWx0fD3jmRSTmEdheurz9lORqqbNbKGo7yvrRUB/s320/SCREAMPLAY_web.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610441331412123554" /></a><br />Yeah...so...how ya been? Look, obviously, I've been in this situation before. In the last five posts, probably half of them have been explanations/excuses. Well, here's another one, but I'll just make it as inclusive as possible so any time there's another late post after an absence, you can just refer to this one post instead of me cluttering the feed with them, though I hope there won't be much need to in the future. <br /><br />In the face of a shit economy and the eternal battle of family health problems, life hasn't been easy, as I'm sure it hasn't been for many others so I'm not going to run on and whine when I know you have your problems and so does the next guy and neither one of you need to hear someone else's. Anyway, such things obviously eat at any such writing time, as much as I hate it. I'm currently hanging around New York for a few months in the hope for a new job and a new place to live. In the meantime, I find I have the time to work on writing projects again, finally. <br /><br />So, expect more posts coming again for at least the foreseeable future, though they will be slightly retooled. The idea to write about every new movie I saw was a good one, but under the weight of time and obligations, it became a foolish one. I have an entire notebook filled with notes and lists of what I watched in the hopes of writing about them and there's just no way I'll ever be able to catch up. Plus, I found myself sacrificing quality for quantity, trying to get through as many blurbs in as short a time as possible. I think out of that whole Road to 500 business, there was about three write-ups I actually feel were decent, and I have no idea why, but the <span style="font-style:italic;">Hellhounds</span> one still strikes me as funny. (It reminds me of a post I saw by Tycho of <span style="font-style:italic;">Penny Arcade</span> fame where he commented on one of the strips by saying it was one of those fleeting examples of quality writing he wished he could attain every time he touched ink to paper, or digits to pixels in our current state I guess.) But, moving on, I'm going to selectively pick what will be written and go a little more in-depth in the writing, as well as carrying on with the various features I had planned as I think they'll be fun. <br /><br />Finally, if you're reading this, thank you for coming back, and I hope we'll both be here for a while.Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-52866826766768298532011-01-25T15:27:00.000-08:002011-01-25T15:37:39.651-08:00Road to 500: Fearing ItselfIt's been a while, I'll say that. I got preoccupied once again with fruitless job searching, delaying me from here even more but here I am again. While the Road to 500 ultimately failed, I still watched a hell of a lot of movies for it so I need to get going on them. With this post, I'm clearing out the last of the <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span> installments. While it ended up being mostly a mixed bag of disappointment steeped in "meh"-ness, I still believe in the concept of the series. If they would have only moved away from aping well-worn story avenues and tried something fresh while keeping in mind the time frame of the show, I think it would have turned out fantastic. I'm sure it'll be a while before anything like this is attempted again so we'll never know, I suppose. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">83. Skin and Bones</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAPRrEwMIDqPVdwoq4PvWM5IzOipdPX1r5FDONqEED5CR1STnrFSDlwx36MKnqANumSiwCm-uoLAtE6W-2OQD6XRid_PJCfA9GTkx5TFL3BcHhUgGY7aQwI_J5_2Ezczc4haHIShZg4t89/s1600/FearItselfSkinBones5.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAPRrEwMIDqPVdwoq4PvWM5IzOipdPX1r5FDONqEED5CR1STnrFSDlwx36MKnqANumSiwCm-uoLAtE6W-2OQD6XRid_PJCfA9GTkx5TFL3BcHhUgGY7aQwI_J5_2Ezczc4haHIShZg4t89/s320/FearItselfSkinBones5.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566264312563400162" /></a><br />Larry Fessenden directs what's easily the best in the entire <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span> series. Doug Jones returns from a stint lost in the mountains that no man should have survived, only he's not quite the same man he was before. This is the only entry that I would go so far as to say it was actually creepy, primarily due to Doug Jones's performance. He's already an unsettling individual so it only takes a minimal of make up to push towards terrifying. His mannerisms come across as outright ghoulish here, obsessed with only one thing: meat. The ending takes place during one of the more grotesque meals I've seen prepared in a film. Even though not much is actually shown, the implication is enough to turn the stomach. Fessenden packs a lot of nuance in the too short running time, achieving more with his camera than any other director in this entire uneven film series. It carries the air of subtle menace that all of Fessenden films seem to excel at. This is the closest out of them all to feel like a true film. The only negative I can say is that it's not a feature length movie. I could see the ideas and characters easily being pushed into even greater limits outside of the confines of the <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span> format.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's worst case of anorexia.<br />-Dude, what have you been doing with those fingers?<br />-Art of cookery abuse.<br />-Great, another 13 year old being portrayed with the mannerisms of a bratty 5 year old.<br />-Try telling this guy to go vegan.<br />-Best performance by a bowl of stew.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">A</span><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/dCowv35qmB8" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen></iframe><br /><br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">84. Chance</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUR9bLt4iejKKzQIas0AGZeQC7yioiVte1tkZKekXb77qr_GcZjm_LJatHUUuahN3Z37eDI8NFiZPnmxgCqiRxbK_Q15WAcDJSH8fvRkncWGQsuzEGnRZbRU4PUJN5bM7NerHZbO5ReE27/s1600/imBE949eCI9TK6ajPMrUQaYw%253D%253D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUR9bLt4iejKKzQIas0AGZeQC7yioiVte1tkZKekXb77qr_GcZjm_LJatHUUuahN3Z37eDI8NFiZPnmxgCqiRxbK_Q15WAcDJSH8fvRkncWGQsuzEGnRZbRU4PUJN5bM7NerHZbO5ReE27/s320/imBE949eCI9TK6ajPMrUQaYw%253D%253D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566265075775827650" /></a><br />See, this is the problem with going through the <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span> films: they're all so damn middle of the road and generic, how can you keep writing about them when you've seen everything in them done better a thousand times, save for a few examples. Here, Ethan Embry is screwed out of his savings and commits a crime out of panic, only to find help in cleaning it up from his doppelganger. What follows is what you've seen in a hundred Hitchcockian movies. Gee, you think cops might show up and narrowly miss seeing that blood stain over there? You betcha. Embry is alright as the main character, though still not stretching much further than his typical awkward guy roles. John Dahl's direction perfectly perfunctory but nothing to write home about. The real sad thing is to see Vondie Curtis Hall killing time on something like this when he's capable of making such great movies. See it if you want, just don't expect to remember it much the next day.<br />Sights within:<br />-Nothing like delivering the most interesting parts of the story through expository dialog shoved into the opening of the film.<br />-Best performance by a vase.<br />-Double the Embrage.<br />-<span style="font-style:italic;">Gridlock'd</span> director abuse.<br />-World's biggest prick of a double.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D+</span><br /><object width="480" height="360"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xafsw6?width=&theme=none&foreground=%23F7FFFD&highlight=%23FFC300&background=%23171D1B&start=&animatedTitle=&iframe=0&additionalInfos=0&autoPlay=0&hideInfos=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xafsw6?width=&theme=none&foreground=%23F7FFFD&highlight=%23FFC300&background=%23171D1B&start=&animatedTitle=&iframe=0&additionalInfos=0&autoPlay=0&hideInfos=0" width="480" height="360" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><br /><b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xafsw6_fear-itself-chance-exclusive-clip_shortfilms">Fear Itself "Chance" - Exclusive Clip</a></b><br /><i>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/dreadcentral">dreadcentral</a>. - <a target="_self" href="http://www.dailymotion.com/us/channel/shortfilms">Check out other Film & TV videos.</a></i><br /><br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">85. Spirit Box</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit_spqw5wFWT7ni_3RSAnf_mTWKSUDxMpv0ckyqwWQTKA7VDHREvU-xwR-ON0oO1v6osDSDosSKyscZI8Zavgm9gPAsQOmqr1-hCIm7ruS1-oB9_IEZy6dntjkQn_jQFP-z-YqBbzlpb3-/s1600/imUf03HaaaSjnRsB0OW8vTqyOQ%253D%253D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit_spqw5wFWT7ni_3RSAnf_mTWKSUDxMpv0ckyqwWQTKA7VDHREvU-xwR-ON0oO1v6osDSDosSKyscZI8Zavgm9gPAsQOmqr1-hCIm7ruS1-oB9_IEZy6dntjkQn_jQFP-z-YqBbzlpb3-/s320/imUf03HaaaSjnRsB0OW8vTqyOQ%253D%253D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566266175857313522" /></a><br />Rob Schmidt does his goddamned best to shoehorn an entire feature length run of the mill teen horror movie into forty minutes. Two teens get bored and play with an Ouija...sorry...<span style="font-style:italic;">spirit</span> board (damn Hasbro) and find out a classmate demands vengeance on her murderer. Cue the Nancy Drew twins running around, digging up clues in as efficient a manner as the running time allows. This thing pretty much covers every base that any PG-13 teen horror film has already beaten into a pulp, including the predictable twist ending. The only benefit here is that it takes about half the typical running time to be disappointed so that you can begin forgetting all about it even sooner. Schmidt, who made one of the better <span style="font-style:italic;">Masters of Horror</span> installments, does a commendable job of keeping the look of the film slick and the performances are decent. The problem here lies in the script. It's the same filler we've been fed for the last fifteen years or so now. Should you care? If you're over the age of 13, not really.<br />Sights within:<br />-The morons probably spent three hours on just prettying their pizza box up. <br />-Best performance by the same goddamn swimming pool you see in just about every Canadian teen film.<br />-Gym teacher abuse.<br />-Yeah, just go on ahead and steal police evidence. You'll be fine.<br />-World's biggest waste of Martin Donovan.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C-</span><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/og_BeESWF98" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen></iframe><br /><br /><br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">86. Echoes</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSrmJKTSzPcDxzPvElswLkajG27ysoSb58LMpPrNgOXh1dCpUe86ba_QG_OQ3PlQ0mZDcioI-Mgb6zCIA0Yqy_52wCKK6xCh6TUU5jofn8vsgxQjqbglrv_mA42pJmOo8AWZ-UENqlrBjf/s1600/200974.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 194px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSrmJKTSzPcDxzPvElswLkajG27ysoSb58LMpPrNgOXh1dCpUe86ba_QG_OQ3PlQ0mZDcioI-Mgb6zCIA0Yqy_52wCKK6xCh6TUU5jofn8vsgxQjqbglrv_mA42pJmOo8AWZ-UENqlrBjf/s320/200974.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566267428176793650" /></a><br />Okay, this one wasn't so bad, especially considering it comes from the outright bastard behind the <span style="font-style:italic;">Fog</span> remake, one of the most despicable movies ever unleashed. Here, Pyro from the <span style="font-style:italic;">X-Men</span> films rents an apartment in the heart of New Orleans and begins to be haunted by the past inhabitants. The film plays with the resonance of memories and past lives, with the feeling of prohibition-era New Orleans giving it a unique feel that rises it above similar stories. The problem remains that this still isn't terribly original. You know what will happen, save for a small twist in the specifics, so there's nothing that really drives you through the film other than the interplay between the two time frames. Aaron Stanford gives a great performance while Eric Balfour appears slimier than ever. It's a decent watch that I think could have gone a lot further if given the proper breathing room.<br />Sights within:<br />-Best performance by people kissing. They were so good, they drove two seperate guys into a murderous frenzy.<br />-World's most unfortunately named couple: Maxie and Zelda. <br />-Curb stompin', 1920's style.<br />-Switchblade abuse.<br />-How many baths can one person take before being labeled amphibious? <br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/qjWXmRxeWVc" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen></iframe><br /><br /><br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">87. The Circle</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidpNmjtcUTXb6BH_mPWiCI6sx63KccSWtmuKRGlDSCOeSrTncs3VffVcovtx-5DEbTIPTD-kMvvUlgY2ueACIMR31Nu_scoaaA2yIoFgizdifwJ84yW8GjaHHYKJekq_XMTrbZhkpZsPpi/s1600/fear-itself-the-circle.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidpNmjtcUTXb6BH_mPWiCI6sx63KccSWtmuKRGlDSCOeSrTncs3VffVcovtx-5DEbTIPTD-kMvvUlgY2ueACIMR31Nu_scoaaA2yIoFgizdifwJ84yW8GjaHHYKJekq_XMTrbZhkpZsPpi/s320/fear-itself-the-circle.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5566268003587291506" /></a><br />At last, the final fucking <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span>. Too bad it ended on such a bummer. Johnathon Schaech is a philandering horror writer who gets his when out on a celebratory stint in the woods. When his book begins coming true, he has to own up to being the asshole he is. This one has an intriguing idea, though not necessarily an original one as keeping in line with the rest of the series, but the execution is flawed. Even ignoring my dislike for Schaech as an actor, the film suffers from the lack of money and time it would take to successfully pull off what they were trying to accomplish. Things seem like they're heading in the right direction, and then they just stop, another victim preyed upon by the restrictions placed by the series's format. Decent, but, (once again) you've been here before.<br />Sights within:<br />-Best performance by quarts of oil.<br />-It's called <span style="font-style:italic;">The Circle</span>, right? Let's shoehorn circles everywhere we can.<br />-World's palest imitation of Stephen King.<br />-What a random coven of witches.<br />-Once again, shaky cam abuse.<br />-Ah, here's where the witches come in, over-explaining where the air of mystery could have been much more effective.<br />-What's more horrible: being the story's characters and reliving everything over and over, or having to watch <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span> over and over?<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C-</span><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" class="youtube-player" type="text/html" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1BpYEYJVRTY" frameborder="0" allowFullScreen></iframe><br /><br /><br /><br />Movies Watched: 5<br />-Skin and Bones<br />-Chance<br />-Spirit Box<br />-Echoes<br />-The Circle<br />New Movies Bought: 36 <span style="font-style:italic;">(Keep in mind, this is from the last five months or so. Even with almost no money I was able to either get these through gifts or found them for less than two bucks so unfortunately the glory days have not returned but I'm working hard now to get back to them.)</span><br />-Outpost Doom<br />-The Grand Horror<br />-Paranormal Activity (blu)<br />-Pig Hunt<br />-The Tomb<br />-Dark House<br />-Grimm Love<br />-Hunger (2010)<br />-Road Kill<br />-A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) (blu)<br />-Splice (blu)<br />-Halloween 2 (Rob Zombie) (blu)<br />-The Human Centipede (blu)<br />-Sorority Row (blu)<br />-The Wolfman (2010) (blu)<br />-Night of the Demons (2010) (blu)<br />-The Changeling (Eastwood) (blu)<br />-Black Kiss<br />-Head Trauma<br />-Scarlet Letter<br />-To Live and Die in LA (blu)<br />-Outlander (blu)<br />-Mega Piranha (blu)<br />-Lakeview Terrace<br />-The Recruit<br />-The Sweetest Thing<br />-Angel of Death<br />-Fast Food Nation<br />-Antitrust<br />-Next<br />-Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties<br />-Year One<br />-Your Friends and Neighbors<br />-Tailor of Panama<br />-Talk to Her<br />-Giallo<br />Unseen DVDS: 3209<br />Unseen Blu-rays: 77<br />Unseen VHS: 119<br />Unseen DVD-R'S: 5<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Is there something you need from me<br />Are you having your fun<br />I never agreed to be<br />Your holy one</span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-81064774390101248482011-01-06T12:48:00.000-08:002011-01-06T14:40:59.163-08:002010 Kiss OffBecause everyone loves lists.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwmbGlkCKPLWChyiz9nD-4RFqllQMPdmCtdFXMy3pl5TDhpAWchyphenhyphenbdQSjZw8SxwsFEP5wsmC2iTeo0fzDtuxubwT-f8b6n9u9ZpmFM8pMv-F9gKn-9-JfoKzH0D0wxQPZsvY_EVCX3rEF1/s1600/2010_movie_poster.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwmbGlkCKPLWChyiz9nD-4RFqllQMPdmCtdFXMy3pl5TDhpAWchyphenhyphenbdQSjZw8SxwsFEP5wsmC2iTeo0fzDtuxubwT-f8b6n9u9ZpmFM8pMv-F9gKn-9-JfoKzH0D0wxQPZsvY_EVCX3rEF1/s320/2010_movie_poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5559199780012571682" /></a><br /><br />2010 saw the creation of this place and by some unexplained force, it's still here. As is the custom with just about any blog you'll come across, January is the time for lists. All sorts of them; best lists, worst lists, lists of lists, yadda yadda yadda. So here I am throwing my hat into the obligatory ring. <br /><br />Problem is: I'm living in the past, man. I called this blog DVD Fiend because it's a tribute to the format that allowed for my obsession with films to take on an almost transcendent level of fanaticism. You'll notice that I also talk about theatrical films, blu-rays, vhs, and hell, sometimes nothing in general. The one thing in common is that they are all rooted in catalog titles. I'm more about digging into what's already come versus jumping on the bandwagon for what's out now and messing up my objective view on a film, which is why I'll wait a few years for the hoopla to die down about a movie before giving it a go like with <span style="font-style:italic;">Benjamin Button</span>, though it didn't save that movie from being any less awful. Having a toddler doesn't help when you want to rush out and see <span style="font-style:italic;">Black Swan</span> either.<br /><br />Now, I used to be able to catch up when they hit home video (hence, the huge unwatched count at the bottom of the Pile of Shame posts) but I lost my job some time back and that hasn't been an option. So by and large, I've missed 2010 film-wise. Here's my Top list if you want to see everything from 2010 I've seen so far, including this year's After Dark Horrorfest titles:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtWFSnCJCM8kWsRcfzMkAgd7zYvoJ6JH9CFR3GSDe86bIUjleowCu6s-OCGRFam6ABqqC6J18kORf6m9oARUp2C_Rd6IPpewNMJcXcOdCjIXI_LI2lMOjQubFjR_ZoERjl-kMCtpFZtQ-d/s1600/Lake-Mungo-Movie-Poster.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 222px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtWFSnCJCM8kWsRcfzMkAgd7zYvoJ6JH9CFR3GSDe86bIUjleowCu6s-OCGRFam6ABqqC6J18kORf6m9oARUp2C_Rd6IPpewNMJcXcOdCjIXI_LI2lMOjQubFjR_ZoERjl-kMCtpFZtQ-d/s320/Lake-Mungo-Movie-Poster.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5559202542257552658" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Top Films of 2010 I Actually Watched:</span><br />1. Lake Mungo<br />2. Clash of the Titans <br />3. Predators<br />4. Dread<br />5. Splice<br />6. The Reeds<br />7. The Crazies<br />8. Piranha 3D<br />9. The Wolfman<br />10. Hidden<br />11. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World<br />12. The Final<br />13. Kill Theory<br />14. A Nightmare on Elm Street<br />15. Zombies of Mass Destruction<br />16. The Graves<br /><br />Pretty much just genre stuff, none of the indies or dramas I would usually see and enjoy.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Top 10 Movies I Would Have Liked To See This Year:</span><br />1. Tron: Legacy<br />2. True Grit<br />3. Black Swan<br />4. The Town<br />5. The A-Team<br />6. Daybreakers<br />7. Toy Story 3<br />8. The Expendables<br />9. The King's Speech<br />10. Paranormal Activity 2<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Top 10 Movies I Hope To Never See If I Can Help It:</span><br />1. Catfish <br />2. The Tooth Fairy<br />3. Furry Vengeance<br />4. The Spy Next Door<br />5. Alice in Wonderland<br />6. Death at a Funeral<br />7. Tangled<br />8. Yogi Bear<br />9. Salt<br />10. Robin Hood<br /><br />Now, since this blog is all about watching past movies, here's the best movies I saw for the first time this year, many of which you'll find write-ups in the archives or they're coming soon.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUTVPnP2ka9QsnpSTrhhugvLUne-IuZcIW1vYFlXvvMSruqIJ8KDIhFChukfhPpx8-OuvrTey4amHhGGpwDpoCKdRFWH8HeMgt1JPYb8jiArCpNprTSPIen9FO1fshjBISy8_rZq6PTw2S/s1600/grizzlyman%25281%2529.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 265px; height: 317px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUTVPnP2ka9QsnpSTrhhugvLUne-IuZcIW1vYFlXvvMSruqIJ8KDIhFChukfhPpx8-OuvrTey4amHhGGpwDpoCKdRFWH8HeMgt1JPYb8jiArCpNprTSPIen9FO1fshjBISy8_rZq6PTw2S/s320/grizzlyman%25281%2529.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5559205215817969234" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Best First Time Viewings of 2010:</span><br />1. Grizzly Man<br />2. The Wicker Man (original)<br />3. Rolling Thunder<br />4. Black Belt Jones<br />5. Savage Streets<br />6. Dog Bite Dog<br />7. Forbidden Planet<br />8. Strangers on a Train<br />9. Lake Mungo<br />10. Cherry Blossoms<br />11. Prince of Darkness<br />12. Trick R Treat<br />13. Bug<br />14. Where the Wild Things Are<br />15. Vinyan<br />16. Home Movie<br />17. Girly<br />18. Drag Me to Hell<br />19. Triangle<br />20. Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer<br />21. 100 Feet<br />22. Surveillance<br />23. Autopsy<br />24. Primal Rage<br />25. Hamlet 2<br /><br />And of course, there can be no light without darkness:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Worst First Time Viewings of 2010:</span><br />1. Cemetery High<br />2. Fangoria Blood Drive, both of them<br />3. The Hitcher 2<br />4. The Happening<br />5. The Graves<br />6. The Brotherhood 3<br />7. The Strangers<br />8. The Cavern<br />9. Zombies of Mass Destruction<br />10. Ghost Game<br />11. Spirit Box<br />12. An American Carol<br />13. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010<br />14. It Waits<br />15. Wicker Man (remake)<br />16. Hellhounds<br />17. Perkins 14<br />18. Hell's Bloody Devils<br />19. Bloody Murder<br />20. Choke<br />21. The Messengers 2<br />22. Jennifer's Body<br />23. The Final Destination<br />24. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button<br />25. Trancers 4 or 5, pick one<br /><br />And now for some various other awards I singled out.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Best Trailer:</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fncp0sQvBM0?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fncp0sQvBM0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Best Poster:</span><br />How did this shit get by so many producers without getting noticed?<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc_xMRbBugBaoieUF3tJfBj-oi0SptXMm23jB_1kvWo17LzgRDGunleIlu94Os6b7ZVZy_ezk6SQ5D7MNBRaKauPLWLtXWWJwOzpB4QYEkX8ne3g2QNjPNk2ddwzCzOcERnORCPcGL-NQ-/s1600/yogi_bear_ver3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 137px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc_xMRbBugBaoieUF3tJfBj-oi0SptXMm23jB_1kvWo17LzgRDGunleIlu94Os6b7ZVZy_ezk6SQ5D7MNBRaKauPLWLtXWWJwOzpB4QYEkX8ne3g2QNjPNk2ddwzCzOcERnORCPcGL-NQ-/s320/yogi_bear_ver3.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5559204581213942690" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Best Assassination of a Comic Book Character I've Always Loved:</span><br />Jonah Hex<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">How Does He Keep Getting Work?:</span><br />Ashton Kutcher<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">How Does She Keep Getting Work?:</span><br />Rachel Miner<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Most Overrated Movie I Saw: </span><br />Scott Pilgrim vs. The World- I'm supposed to care about a whiny asshole that cheats on his girlfriend with an ice queen who not once did I ever buy that she was actually into him. And then somehow the movie becomes about his self-esteem? What the hell? If you get rid of the Scott and Ramona characters, I'd love it. Knives Chau stole the movie and should have been the focus.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Most Depressing: <br /></span>Curse of the Fly- The ending is almost Shakespeareanly tragic.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Most Disgusting:</span><br />Deadgirl- Just icky.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Most WTF?:</span><br />Sisters- It's been almost three months since I saw it and I still have no idea how I'm going to articulate my thoughts on this thing when I do the write-up.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Most Under-appreciated:</span><br />Bug- Come on, it's amazingly engrossing and insane. If you've ever hung around meth-heads, you'll realize how spot on this is.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Best Movie Made On $500 Bucks:</span><br />Outpost Doom- A genuinely interesting and fun throwback to classic horror movies.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2B4AWYfFtt0mIDhAuDka86GdYh15TzZrTk1BtSoEx3W-PXWmpt9hWT2V8cBJO-oBWZ8V77yrgjMgbClpVboVndxlWI6vLjiecfM_gZJyJtyUXMs7K-TyALpO1BgSryjqmLydrs3ei91YO/s1600/OUTPOSTDOOM.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 210px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2B4AWYfFtt0mIDhAuDka86GdYh15TzZrTk1BtSoEx3W-PXWmpt9hWT2V8cBJO-oBWZ8V77yrgjMgbClpVboVndxlWI6vLjiecfM_gZJyJtyUXMs7K-TyALpO1BgSryjqmLydrs3ei91YO/s320/OUTPOSTDOOM.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5559203162447759618" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Surprisingly Wasn't Completely Horrible:</span><br />Stan Helsing<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Movie I Would Have Walked Out Of And Fucking Killed Someone If I Had Actually Paid Money To See It:</span><br />Catfish- Thanks to Dead Lantern's <a href="http://www.deadlantern.com/2010/10/26/splattercast-200-paranormal-catfish/">review</a>, I know everything I need to know about this mis-marketed joke. It pisses me off and I haven't even seen it. Seriously, give their review a listen and tell me if you would still want to see it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Best Score To A Movie I Haven't Seen:</span><br />Tron: Legacy by Daft Punk- It's been months and I still haven't stopped listening to it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Best Song Still Stuck in My Head After Seeing the Movie:</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TBhu5FKAhVk?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TBhu5FKAhVk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Movies I've Seen More Than I Ever Wanted To Thanks To My Son's Daily Rituals:</span><br />1. Garfield<br />2. Lilo and Stitch<br />3. Toy Story<br />4. Surf's Up<br />5. Monster House/Monsters Inc., depending on what type of mood he's in.<br /><br /><br />I think that's all I got at the moment. I'll end this saying that despite my outside pressures, I've had a lot of fun running this blog and it motivates me to push myself even more for the next year. I have to thank everyone that ends up here, through whatever means they arrive, for coming by and reading. I love finding new movies and exposing them to others, so if even one person goes and checks out a few new titles because of something they read here, I'm flattered. I thank you all again and here's to a cinematic 2011!Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-17086807689427874872011-01-03T21:45:00.000-08:002011-01-03T22:19:56.754-08:00Road to 500: FailureAlternatively titled: <span style="font-style:italic;">I Suck, Here's Why I Sucked, and Here's Hoping I Don't Suck So Much This Year.</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3-JwZ6vSzS2Ve1Egx-oAH2DzLXm7878z0SHWCUKk4GLHElfkQR7CCaOnoGbkHsp_reOBTjU8krRQGGzG-8AkL8eLQ4kvWiCUcQR4Es1CqYxoS1xMy0zQUYfC1TPgKAA_XstbAITgzQDYl/s1600/hellraiser1.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 176px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3-JwZ6vSzS2Ve1Egx-oAH2DzLXm7878z0SHWCUKk4GLHElfkQR7CCaOnoGbkHsp_reOBTjU8krRQGGzG-8AkL8eLQ4kvWiCUcQR4Es1CqYxoS1xMy0zQUYfC1TPgKAA_XstbAITgzQDYl/s320/hellraiser1.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5558210294071842258" /></a><br /><br />I know many have been waiting with bated breath for the return of regular Fiend postings, okay maybe not but it'd be nice to imagine such, and an update on how goes the brain sucking marathon. <br /><br />Well, I'll tell you up front, it did not happen. <br /><br />I think it topped out around 273 or something like that, which some would say nearly 300 movies in three months is an achievement in and of itself, but I still see it as a mark of shame. I made a public bet and I fell through to which I apologize. You may have noticed that with my last post I promised a follow up post with my thoughts on another remake which would have been 2010's <span style="font-style:italic;">A Nightmare on Elm Street</span> but it never materialized. Well okay, here's my reasons for why these and other planned events did not occur. Please don't take this as whining.<br /><br />After I threw up the last post, we had what could be considered a very minor snow falling. While I laughed at this place freaking out over a quarter inch worth of snow, karma would have other plans. The next morning while returning some gear I slipped on a tiny patch of ice, apparently breaking one of my ribs. As I stood up, I think I heard the heavens laughing. Or it was my breath wheezing in and out. I don't know. Anyways, this naturally put a crimp on anything computer related as it felt as though Satan was running a belt sander under my arm every time I lifted it up. I lost two weeks worth of working time on both the blog and my college thesis film, putting me at odds with both. When I could operate a keyboard again, I found my file for the <span style="font-style:italic;">Elm Street</span> posting missing and hasn't been seen from again, gone to the recycle bin forever it seems. Something I wish could happen to the film itself. December was pretty much committed to finishing the movie and graduating. (Shameless Plug #3: if you want a hint of how it came out check it out <a href="http://www.boughbreaksmovie.com/">here</a>) <br /><br />All in all, during the entirety of December and most of November, I managed to watch all of <span style="font-weight:bold;">one</span> movie, which was <span style="font-style:italic;">The Ref</span>, a heartfelt Christmas movie if there ever was one. <br /><br />With my case presented, I stand here for your judgment. Do you continue to follow a welsher that can't live up to his bargains? Do you still kill time by reading the blathering of a writer who can't fulfill his work load? Is there anyone that's actually still reading this?<br /><br />I hope there is because there's a lot coming up. Overlooking this post which was originally supposed to state why the Road to 500 didn't materialize and has now become one of the whiniest blog posts on the 'net, I think there's some really fun content brewing. I've still got over 200 horror movie write-ups to do from the Road to 500 debacle as well as the other movies I've been able to start catching up with. Over the next few days there should be your typical "end of the year" type of post, though done in a personalized Fiend fashion. And over the last week or so, I've been hard at work on a marathon of kaiju-like proportions that should be fun to type up. There'll be new features, essays, lists, and all types of movie nerd shit going on right here at the DVD Fiend so stay tuned and here's to a <span style="font-style:italic;">productive</span> 2011. <br /><br />I mean it this time, too.Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-32081173121833354452010-11-21T21:57:00.000-08:002010-11-21T23:20:50.993-08:00Initial Thoughts: Friday the 13th (2009)<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_gleQigTXFQc/SR_h6naCxBI/AAAAAAAAAfQ/OVStZ4opRoE/Jason%20Voorhees.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 405px; height: 484px;" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_gleQigTXFQc/SR_h6naCxBI/AAAAAAAAAfQ/OVStZ4opRoE/Jason%20Voorhees.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">Jason-Fu!</span><br /></div><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(Truth be told, this is an old post from what was basically the prototype for this blog (some would argue this place is still in the beta phase which I wouldn't disagree with). I figured I'd post it here for archival purposes before its other home disappears. (Myspace, what the hell happened to you? It's like you're an assault victim desperately clinging to the idea that everything's fine.) Plus, I figured it'd be a nice companion to tomorrow's post where I'll do the same format for another film. Bet you can't guess which one?<br /><br />Anyway, after I saw this thing in the theater, I was still so frustrated with it that I had to spit out the points that were bothering me in order to find the peace within once again. Sadly, I'm not exaggerating. Just ask my wife who witnessed me have an emotional freak-out while stuck in the theater, something I think I've just now gotten over from tomorrow's movie. Looking at this now, it strikes me as being even more profane than I usually am but I attribute that to the anger the movie induced. I'd like to imagine my writing's improved since then, an old adage I'll be saying about this come two years from now. There's probably more bitching points forgotten that I'll remember whenever I revisit the movie, but for now I'd like to think these are enough, even now almost two years later.)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Originally appeared on 2/19/2009</span>:<br />Okay, so I'm skipping class and having to use the school's computer since mine's screwed up right now, but I figured I'd have to vent while it's fresh. I liked the Leatherface remake enough and dug the hell out of the prequel, so I was wasn't expecting horrible things; and it's not like any of the original Jason flicks were that good. The only one that comes close to being a truly good movie was the very first one. The rest were just really fun in a schlocky way, so it's not like this one had too far to go to top the others. I just don't know how they could possibly fuck it up. Wow. Here's some individual thoughts. Beware, much of the film's....."plot" is spoiled below.<br /><br />-The opening credits almost sent me into a seizure. By the time your eyes adjust to being strobed, they hit you with another one. From the very first second, the movie was just inviting The Rage out of me.<br /><br />-Jason's mother sounds like she couldn't punish a poodle let alone kill a whole camp. She looks like she should be selling bibles.<br /><br />-Okay, so we're introduced to the first group of losers. In a slasher, these are typically the opening fodder dispensed with in five minutes to set the rest of the movie up. But guess what? These fuckers hang around for what feels like half an hour at least. Maybe it was only fifteen minutes but it easily felt like twice that.<br /><br />-What makes that all the worse is that these guys are insufferably annoying. Hell, if they had a black guy with them you already have all the stereotypes in the first batch. The jock, the vapid girlfriend, the stupid-ass comic relief, the survivor girl, and her helpful but naive boyfriend who'll get it in the end right before the end of the movie. That's right, this is it's entirely own movie, one that's completely uninteresting and boring as hell since you've already seen it a hundred times.<br /><br />-Oh yeah, this movie has nudity out it's ass, as though that's going to make up for the rest of horseshit slung around. This movie has enough silicone and plastic to give Cher a new lease on life.<br /><br />-So the chick finds a locket with a photo of Jason's mother on it, which apparently she looks like. Yep, at the 7 minute mark, I already knew the ending.<br /><br />-So, uh, when did Jason become a Graboid? Call Kevin Bacon.<br /><br />-Why the fuck does a summer camp have a boiler attached to labyrinthine tunnels? Were they smuggling slaves in the Civil War? Why does Fuller and Form think every horror movie has to have a set stolen from the Goonies and pumped up to be grittier?<br /><br />-Oh, there's the title card. Shouldn't it have a "Part 3" by now?<br /><br />-Oh, GODDMAMIT!! Are you fucking telling me we have to sit through a whole other half hour of setting up even more vapid characters than the first group? AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I literally almost walked out at this point.<br /><br />-I swear to god, Trent is the love child of Tom Cruise and Christian Bale. Look:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsV/70131-27849.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsV/70131-27849.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />-I almost want to say that the only character even remotely likable is Jared Paladecki, but then I realize that's only because I like him in every single other thing I've seen him in. His character in this is just as one note and flat as any other, it's just that he's trying hard to make it better. The Asian guy is the only one that's tolerable, and even that's only for a couple of scenes.<br /><br />-When the hell did the 70's flocked haircuts comeback? I know dipshit skaters have had them for a while now, but when did the rest of the world drink the Kool-Aid? This movie is more flocked than most major migration paths for birds.<br /><br />+Awesome! The Sentinel's playing the sheriff!<br /><br />-...who only gets two lines.<br /><br />-I honestly haven't heard just outright retarded dialog like this in years. Who fucking talks like that? At one point Trent complaints a woman's chest in mid-coitus by calling them "stupendous". Whaddafuck?<br /><br />-Basically, this movie's concept for Jason was take Leatherface from the remake and make him look like a bum. Sorry, it doesn't scare me at all. In fact I ended up laughing at him in every scene. I've seen scarier looking people at the bus stop. Mentally stunted, clodding, something-not-quite-right Frankenstein's Monster Jason was freaky to me. Meth-head homeless Joe Jason is not. Simple.<br /><br />-The mask's big reveal issss.....(drumroll)...under a pile of dirty linens and random shit that he slips on without even really giving a shit, helping us to not give a shit either.<br /><br />-The kill's in the movie aren't even entertaining, which could have been it's only saving grace, but they all feel like a twelve year old tried to emulate shit from a Hostel movie. The weakest kills in the whole series to me.<br /><br />-Sorry, I was wrong. Jason's apparently patterned after Ted Nugent. He sure is a good shot with that bow and arrow.<br /><br />-Jason wants to hide from the world. This movie teaches us that the best way to do that is to light up your stomping grounds like a fucking funpark. "They'll never find me under these stadium lights." But there really is no explanation why every other scene at night is lit like there's a high school football game going on next door. You can actually count how many spotlights are being used in every shot. Platinum Dunes might want to look for at least one new guy to rig their lights. I know that guy with the hairlip has been around for a while, Mr. Bay, but I think it's time we let him go quietly into that good night.<br /><br />-I swear to god, at least 30% of the movie was out of focus. I thought at first it was just the projector, but no, it was for specific shots. Hell, some shots would start in focus and then go completely soft by the end for no justifible reason. I can get why people use shaky cam, as much as I hate it. But if out of focus shots combined with fucking shaky cam becomes the new trend, then we, as a collective human race, are retarded. As someone who's capable of sight, I like to be able to see my movies.<br /><br />+The only, and I mean only, good scene in the movie is when the black guy gets it (as though you didn't think he would). He's laying out there with an axe in his back and screaming, then it cuts back to the cabin where Trent is doing the whole "You're full of shit. There's nothing out there" spiel while you can still hear the black guy screaming for help offscreen. I was fucking dying laughing. I couldn't breathe. Holy shit. "It's cold out here" hahahahahahahaha<br /><br />-Wow, Trent's death is very anticlimatic. I wish the truck driver had gone "Fuuuuuuuccck this" and peeled out. I know I would have laughed.<br /><br />-Ohhh, the survivor girl got killed. What a twist! Maybe it would have mattered if anyone gave half a damn for even one of the characters instead of simply filling the quota of stock characters.<br /><br />-You know the ending of Rob Zombie's Halloween where Michael's playing Rob Villa in the old house with the 2x4? Just take that but change it to homeless Jason in the tunnels (which somehow empty into an overturned bus? Huh? Was I seeing that right?) and there's your ending.<br /><br />-See the sister there doing the whole momma routine? Yeah, I harken back to the seven minute mark.<br /><br />- Really? That's how you try to top the last minute ending of the original? Just have a seat over there. We need to have a talk about some things.<br /><br />-The credits are just now rolling but I swear to god this movie ended a lot earlier. My brain feels like it checked out halfway through.<br /><br />The sad part is there was at least twice as many mental notes I had watching it, but even as I was leaving it was hard retaining any of them. The movie was so goddamn vapid I could barely hold onto a cohesive thought about it. I know I had watched it, but nothing stuck because every single thing was so meaningless throughout the entire movie. To put it in perspective, I wasn't this angry or frustrated coming out of The Unborn last month. Hell, I actually think I like Zombie's Halloween a little more after this. At least that could be entertaining as you watch it. This was just tedious. It felt like work sitting through it. Never before have I literally felt like I should be paid for watching a movie. The old movies, while not being very good, were a blast to watch. They're great for horror kids to watch and adults can get cheesy kicks out of them. Jason X is one of the most rewatchable movies to me just because of how fun it is. The pretentiousness of the remake just sickens me. It feels like they thought "Oh, we're going to make an actual good Jason movie" and were snubbing their noses at the past films, when those were at least enjoyable. The My Bloody Valentine remake puts it's bootheels to this movie's neck, man. You can tell it was made by people that really respect the original and other slsashers of the time and paid tribute while still doing their own thing. That movie grabs you by the throat by the opening shot and screams in your face "YOU READY FOR SOME FUN, FUCKERS? WOOOOOOOO!!!!!" And it's in 3-D. And it's got Tom Atkins. And 3-D midgets. Who get spiked to the ceiling. Holy shit, that sounds awesome, and I've already seen it! Go see that instead.<br /><br />I'll let you know if the unrated Blu-ray of Friday the 13th is any better when I eventually buy it.<br /><br />God, I'm such a tool.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(For the record, I did end up buying the blu-ray for about six bucks, proving that: indeed, I am a tool.)</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.fearnet.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2010123/FormFuller.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://www.fearnet.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2010123/FormFuller.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">These two have ruined studio horror as well as childhood memories for years. Consider them the Fiend's Most Wanted.</span></div>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-64770667812476940712010-11-17T16:14:00.000-08:002010-11-17T16:19:15.641-08:00I'm Not Dead Yet!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.comicbookmovie.com/images/users/uploads/8133/Bishop-Aliens_l.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://www.comicbookmovie.com/images/users/uploads/8133/Bishop-Aliens_l.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br />Hope you enjoyed what’s pretty much the one big “hurrah” for us horror fiends, sorry I haven’t been around much lately to celebrate it. What was supposed to be a pretty big month for the blog turned out to be complete absenteeism on my part. I had lists and features and all sorts of nerd boy rantings planned but unfortunately real life decided to kick my ass. Family health problems as well as having to shoot my thesis film robbed me of my writing time, soooooo…uh…..look forward to Halloween Fest 2011 here at DVD Fiend! But I do hope you stick around as things are starting to wind down a bit out here in the real world and the urge to blather about on here is coming back fierce. There should be new stuff soon and eventually I hope to be back into the full swing of things. There’s still the Road to 500 countdown which despite everything else, I’ve still had time to watch movies somehow. I think I left off somewhere around title #80 and I’ve watched weeeellll beyond that so I think I’ll be able to make my goal for the year, even if I end up still trying to catch up blog-wise well into next spring. I can tell you this; I will not be remiss for writing topics anytime soon.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.timwasher.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/jack_typing.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 478px; height: 355px;" src="http://www.timwasher.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/jack_typing.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-1505797376330430662010-10-02T18:26:00.000-07:002010-10-02T18:36:59.707-07:00Top 10: Horror Music Video Tie-Ins Part 2Hi there! This certainly took way longer than it should have, didn't it? Crap keeps popping up and delaying everything. Something tells me this month is going to be crazy. Speaking of which, I'm hoping to have a post up tomorrow related to the month, but you never know what the hell will throw a monkey wrench in to the Mangler, grinding everything up. Anyway, here's the long-delayed final half of the top horror movie music videos. The last half was full of kitschy songs that I liked for their camp value, but this half's selections are songs I truly enjoy. I would willingly rock out to these songs any given time. So, at last, here you go. Rock on!<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >5. Alice Cooper - The Man Behind the Mask</span><br />By the time the sixth Jason movie came out, the series had already established itself as a cultural icon. What better way to tap into that than a trendy music video for the kiddies? And what better way to reach them than by pairing up what was once the most shocking rocker of all time with the slasher with the highest body count? The result: a pretty damn corny rocker that fits right in line with the tone of the series at the time. Even though Alice was already showing his mileage at this point in the 80's, it didn't stop him from his leather and theatrics. It begins with him popping up in a theater showing <span style="font-style: italic;">Friday 6</span> and breaking glass over his head right in the patron's faces and eventually escalates with him whipping various his minions in an elaborate set, including one girl with black wings taking flight from a giant unicorn. What this has to do with a guy in a mask stabbing people, I have no idea. In the end, the song's cool and the video's a trip, so it's all good in the end.<br /><object width="640" height="505"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BbT8n_ay4fM?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BbT8n_ay4fM?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="505"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >4. The Dickies - Killer Klowns From Outer Space</span><br />The perfect song for such a whacked out movie. The music sounds like it comes from a carnival in Hell as you whip around their most ludicrous roller coaster, meanwhile the singer sounds like a worm being choked out every time he hits the chorus. And yet, it works. It's catchy as hell and always brings a smile to whoever's listening to it. The video itself, besides the obligatory film clips, works with the movie pretty well. The band is dressed like an amalgamation of Mick Jagger, Sid Vicious, Ratt, Paul McCartney, and...an Amish guy, so wardrobe synchronization was never an issue here, apparently. Someone decided to bring these yahoos together and give them the power of judge, jury, and executioner. That's right. Together, they are Judge Dredd-ful. These rejects from the Cuckoo's Nest send a Klown to jail, and then torment him with their music until the other Klowns boot them and take over. At least, that's how I read the narrative, which I believe was penned by John Grisham.<br /><object width="480" height="327"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xm87f?additionalInfos=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xm87f?additionalInfos=0" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="480" height="327"></embed></object><br /><b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xm87f_dickies-killer-klowns-from-outer-sp_fun">Dickies - Killer Klowns From Outer Space</a></b><br /><i>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/lucky33">lucky33</a>. - <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/us/channel/fun">Click for more funny videos.</a></i><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >3. The Ramones - Pet Sematary </span><br />It takes a certain type of 8-year old to rip off Columbia House's video program, and I was that type. After committing mail fraud at an exceptionally young age, I watched this movie for the first time and was subsequently wrecked from it. Yet, I kept watching it. At the time it was the most adult movie I had ever seen and I thought it was great. It wasn't until years later that I found out The Ramones had recorded a tie-in song for it. I have no idea how an infectious, amazingly written (for The Ramones anyways) pop song became the banner advertisement for such a solemn, depressing movie, but I'm glad it happened. I can only assume it was due to Stephen King's personal love for the band. No matter how it came to be, it became one of my very favorite Ramones songs, over even "Beat on the Brat" which I sang to myself constantly throughout my elementary school tour of duty. While the video may not be anything fancy, just the sight of The Ramones playing this song at a graveyard while still in their prime is probably one of the coolest sights ever to be produced. It reeks of awesome. And cadavers. I can only hope that one day, my funeral will be exactly like this one.<br /><object width="640" height="505"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/L6GzVCYqoyY?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/L6GzVCYqoyY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="505"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >2. Motorhead - Hellraiser</span><br />Now, this is actually a newer one to me. If it wasn't for Youtube, I probably never would known there was any such thing as a <span style="font-style: italic;">Hellraiser</span>-themed music video. It makes sense that it would be for the third one since that was the lone attempt at throwing money at the series to bring it to a Freddy Krueger-level of success. When I came across this video online, I was blown away. The song is simply awesome. Motorhead is known as a heavy metal band, but something about their music has always pushed them far above others in the same genre for me, so already I'm going to like this on some level. It may not be one of their hardest songs, but it's definitely one of their catchiest, maybe even over "Ace of Spades." Every time, and I mean <span style="font-style: italic;">every goddamn time</span>, I hear this song, it's stuck in my head for days. I'll be walking to the store and I'll be set upon by an overpowering urge to start chanting "Hellraiser!" in a voice that sounds like gravel. It's like a disease for me. The video for the song is great. It incorporates the requisite film clips into the video far more seamlessly than most others and runs with their own storyline of Motorhead taking on Pinhead while others are turned into human-boar-beast cenobites patterned after the band's signature skull logo. Personally, I believe that if Pinhead were a real person, Lemmy would be one of the few people on the planet who wouldn't even bat an eye as he walked up and kicked the cenobite king right in the balls. That's just how he rolls.<br /><object width="640" height="505"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1M4FG1UXH5w?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1M4FG1UXH5w?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="505"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >1. Dr. Reanimator - Move Your Dead Bones</span><br />And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the real deal. I liked the movie enough, but after it was over I flipped through the special features and came across this little number. Needless to say, my life was changed. Chills ran down my body as this giddy piece of eurotrash unfurled. I have no belief whatsoever that a musical entity entitled "Dr. Reanimator" existed before or after this movie, but for one shining moment, they conquered the world. I'm sure the underwear model front-lining the video had nothing to do with the creation or performance of the song, but whoever you are and wherever you are, you are a genius, Dr. Reanimator. This is a game-changer. There's a reason there hasn't been any horror tie-ins since this, the bar was just set so high. The only reason this isn't as revered as <span style="font-style:italic;">Citizen Kane</span> is because no one had the inspiration to have Jeffrey Combs leading the goth rave-line while wearing a top-hat and monocle while twirling a cane. Prepare to have your mind blown:<br /><object width="853" height="505"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7BnOUOkcr9c?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7BnOUOkcr9c?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="853" height="505"></embed></object>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-4392397098636789282010-09-26T16:32:00.000-07:002010-09-26T16:32:00.074-07:00Top 10: Horror Music Video Tie-Ins Part 1Sorry for being away for a while. Various issues continue to pop up and they always end up taking most of the time I set aside for writing. At least I've been trying my best to continue watching films for the Road to 500 marathon so I'm hoping to be able to reach my goal by the end of the year, though catching up on the write-ups is a whole other story.<br /><br />Anyway, this Top 10 stems from my love of music videos. Growing up along with MTV developed a love for the format which might as well be dead as far as the ability to view them anymore. If it wasn't for places like Youtube, they might as well not even exist anymore. Hell, I don't think people buy the cds they promote anyway so what does it all matter. One special category of music video belonged to the movie tie-in video which was a product of corporate synergy at its shrewdest. Market your hip movie using the most popular method of music delivery amongst the audience. What can I say? It worked. They were infectious and if the song was for a movie you loved, you wanted to watch it over and over. For me, the best of these came from horror movies. This list presents my favorite ten videos I've seen over the years. For all of these, I loved the song at some level and the videos were memorable enough to me that I could think of them off the top of my head. Thanks to the magic of the internet, they can now be shared to all that bother to stumble upon this blog. I cut them up into two parts again just to make it easier to read due to length. Anyway, get rockin'.<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 180%;">10. The Fat Boys - Are You Ready for Freddy?</span><br />From the days of rap when people actually, you know, <span style="font-style: italic;">rapped</span>, the pioneering hip-hop group The Fat Boys, stars of the international smash <span style="font-style: italic;">Disorderlies</span>, bust out some rhymes with the gloved one. Somewhere along the lines, Freddy must have got jungle fever and left his estate to his three nephews, twenty years after he was burned alive but that's the legal system for you. The boys arrive with coordinated outfits and bumble their way around the house while Freddy halfheartedly shoos them out. The way the song incorporates elements of Freddy's theme weaves its way into the songs beat pretty well, surprisingly, and holds up as a decent tune. Props must be given for not simply relying on movie clips as so many video tie-ins did. And I'll take Freddy rapping over Kanye West any day of the week.<br /><object width="640" height="505"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XDUl5Ke5jbM?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XDUl5Ke5jbM?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="505"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 180%;">9. Coup de Villes - Big Trouble in Little China</span><br />Technically not a horror movie, but with two genre directors showing their faces in this atrocity, I'll count it. The beat would work well in a scene in a Carpenter movie, but as the major backing track for an entire song it wears out its welcome. It'd all be so horrible if it wasn't so funny. What was the mandate for wardrobe that day? Find the nerdiest sweaters that were rejected from <span style="font-style: italic;">The Cosby Show</span>? Who thought this would be a good idea? I can imagine an intense editing session being interrupted by breaking out some quaaludes and reliving those high school days of being in a rock band. Carpenter just looks so serious while looking at his editing screen. It's like they're serenading the edit bay, praying for a good movie to come out of it. Nick Castle is so goddamn adamant while turning around at that keyboard you have to imagine he was making up for never being able to show his face in <span style="font-style: italic;">Halloween</span>. And what in the holy fuck is Tommy Lee Wallace sporting? It's like he killed a fox with a perm and decided it looked pretty happening before stapling it to his scalp. And then they break out the sherpa robes. Those shades, man. Those shades...How did this pass Standards and Practices? How could this happen? Whatever celestial configuration enabled this monstrosity, it delivered unto us a sliced of fried comedy that encapsulates everything that was so horribly awesome about the 80's. The funniest thing is, I could easily imagine the post-production on any Carpenter movie ending up like this.<br /><object width="640" height="505"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/D03E9kUTTtQ?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/D03E9kUTTtQ?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="505"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 180%;">8. Bobby Brown - On Our Own</span><br />The only rap song that mentions proton packs as well as Viggo, the Master of Evil. When you're a seven year old child who's world revolved around <span style="font-style: italic;">Ghostbusters</span>, this song is the greatest piece of music that could ever grace your eardrums. The lyrics and beats are so immediate and urgent, you can easily believe that, yes, we have to take a stand, right now. Against what, you'd never know. You're a fucking seven year old for Christ's sake, but somehow it mattered to you, almost as if the Ghostbusters were the symbols for everything righteous in the world. Of course, as an adult you see it as an overtly obvious money cash-grab tying in the hippest trend in music with the newest blockbuster sung by someone who probably had (and still has) no idea what the hell he was saying, only useful for unintentional comedy, but hey, growing up sucks. It's funny how in this day and age, I can watch this over and over on Youtube if I wanted, but I spent seven hours one day sitting by the radio with a blank tape loaded in the deck and my fingers itching to push the record buttons as soon as I heard those opening beats cue up. And keep in mind, this was back when you had to hit both the "Play" and "Record" buttons at the same time lest you be screwed out of your tunes and end up eating the tape. You kids have it so easy with your MP3s and whatnot. Bonus points for being the only place with Bobby Brown's lethal hairstyle, Donald Trump, Iman, Rick Moranis, and a still mobile Christopher Reeve all in one video.<br /><object width="640" height="505"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0Dw763DLEKY?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0Dw763DLEKY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="505"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 180%;">7. The L.A. Posse - Lost in Time</span><br />Now, I know most will watch this video and be thoroughly unimpressed but it's here out of my own personal nostalgia. <span style="font-style: italic;">Waxwork 2</span> was like a revelation of craziness the first time I watched it, inspiring my brothers and I to come up with our own wacko time jumping scenarios based on what we had seen. That's what happens when impressionable eight year olds are subjected to this stuff. Anyway, we especially loved the end credits which functions as its own promotional music video. Why it would be promoting itself to viewers that had just finished watching the movie I have no idea. You can see that they took the time to actually film sections of the video at various sets as they were filming so they had to have been planning the video the whole time. I'm betting they were thinking the film would get a theatrical release like the original and wanted a tie-in video for MTV, which sadly was never realistic. The song itself is kind of funny. It's another video back when people still rapped in a rap song, and you can tell whoever wrote it actually watched the movie but it's hilarious how bored the main singer sounds. It's like Steven Wright trying to rap. And the chorus is so damn goofy it's all too easy to burrow into your subconscious and play itself over and over. As a kid, this video was awesome, adding another layer of love for an already childhood classic. As an adult, it's a hilarious reminder of the way things once were and probably won't be again.<br /><object width="640" height="505"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/sqVoKdz6Qh8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sqVoKdz6Qh8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="505"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 180%;">6. J. Geils Band - Fright Night</span><br />Besides being one of the best movies, <span style="font-style: italic;">ever</span>, it also apparently had one of the best music producers in charge of the film's soundtrack. Other than Brad Fidel's score being one of the best from the 80's (which I can't believe there was never a score album released, the one track on the soundtrack is not enough and I'm still hoping Varese or some specialty label releases it someday), the film also had a great compilation of tracks from various New Wave bands, which for me personally always gets my attention. The J. Geils Band title song is everything you need in a promotional video: it's immediately catchy, with its refrains of "Fright Night!" immediately grabbing listeners' attention, and fits the fun tone of the movie. The video itself could only come from the 80's, when men's hairstyles typically ran along the lines of a transvestite's worst nightmare. There's scarves, there's glitter, there's unintentional homoeroticism everywhere; just your typical 80's video. Besides rolling the expected film clips during the video, they also bother to play with the voyeurism themes from the movie with a few sequences of interplay involving very fake windowsills. I have no idea where the idea for the bed scenes came from, but they sure do look happy, romping around and necking with each other... Wow. There's just no way something like that wouldn't have been caught by the film's P.R. people before being released. <br /><object width="640" height="505"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8Ct-MFJtNBk?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8Ct-MFJtNBk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="505"></embed></object>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-37099926050964935692010-09-12T14:15:00.000-07:002011-01-19T11:34:46.457-08:00Road to 500: The Hand of 500Another post, another round of movies. Still trekking onwards though I feel like I'm getting behind if I'm to make the main goal so I've got to step it up a notch. There'll be few more articles in the next week once finals are over so be on the look out for that. Now, carry on!<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">76. Piranha 3D</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/541313.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 775px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/541313.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Man, that really chafes my ass that the <span style="font-style:italic;">3D</span> is actually part of the title. Anyway, this remake is refreshingly nothing like the original, apart from killer fish. An earthquake unleashes prehistoric piranha upon spring break in some dingy, run down fuck of a town that I can't believe would ever have such a healthy spring break industry (but what do I know about such things?), all in post-converted 3D. This is easily Alexandre Aja's best movie thus far, but considering how low I think of his prior films, that may not be saying much. I will say that for the first time, Aja doesn't have any pretensions of what his movie <span style="font-style:italic;">is</span> and goes for bottom-of-the-barrel gore gags wherever he can, with some being truly inspired. KNB even manages to do good work here, with nothing having their typical pink-plastic sheen on all of their prosthetics, though I wonder if that has more to do with everything being in the water versus any actual improvement upon their part. It's hard to comment on the acting as no one really has enough time to stand out, other than Jerry O'Connell who is slobbingly manic as a take on Jerry Francis, proprietor of <span style="font-style:italic;">Girls Gone Wild</span>. People like Ving Rhames show up to deliver three lines and then they're gone, leaving you with absolutely nobody to really give a damn about. That's really the only problem with the movie; the writing is awful. It constantly feels like it doesn't know if it should go to old-school nature flick "sheriff and scientist saves the town" angle or run with the newer Syfy Channel outline of "partying teens stuck somewhere," feeling like a mixture of both and never really satisfying either. Interactions between human beings are forced into trying to pass as reality and any attempt at characterization is a joke. The movie feels empty once you start looking back on it, which made me a little cheated after the exorbitant 3D prices. Don't get me wrong, the movie's a blast while you're watching it, as stupid as it all is, but try not to think about it too much once it's over lest you ruin the boneheaded escapism it is.<br />Sights within:<br />-Eli Roth in the role he was born for.<br />-World's most unexpected cameo of a character from a far better movie.<br />-The underwater "ballet" sequence is probably one of the most absurdly stupid scenes of the year.<br />-Penis abuse.<br />-A boat motor skins a woman's face by yanking her hair off, the best argument for CGI gore effects yet.<br />-A complete slaughter of spring break dipshits, which should have been the climax since anything that came afterwards was just boring in comparison.<br />-Best performance by a survivor of <span style="font-style:italic;">Stand By Me</span>. <br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C+</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cdMEaQa0_xk?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cdMEaQa0_xk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">77. The Wicker Man</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/464744.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 880px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/464744.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I can't believe I didn't get around to this one sooner. A devoutly religious inspector gets a message alerting him to the disappearance of a little girl on an isolated island community, but when he arrives the town doesn't know what he's talking about. The town seems fine at first, but as the movie goes on, there's something off about it that actually starts to get under your skin as you watch. As the inspector uncovers the different layers of the town's religion, it gets progressively unnerving, until the rituals performed by the town come across as horrifying. A large part of the movie's success is due to Edward Woodward's role as the inspector. He plays it so earnestly and committed that we can't help but feel for him when his faith is torn apart by these "heathens." To believably portray a man broken is one of the most harrowing sights in a film. If this aspect didn't come across, the rituals depicted in the movie would be laughable. Adding to the atmosphere is the music of the movie. Everybody on this fucking island sings, constantly. This would be a bad thing if the music wasn't as good as it is. The Scottish folk music fits in with the old-fashioned pagan ways of the island. The film ends a little predictably, but it still feels haunting and depressing even knowing what's about to happen. The way the movie lingers on what's happening along with both the inspector's and the villager's reactions are the epitomes of trauma. <br />Sights within:<br />-Corn rigs?<br />-World's most nightmarish visions of Christopher Lee in a dress.<br />-Quit fucking singing! I'm trying to sleep!<br />-Midnight orgies. What happens in Summerisle stays in Summerisle.<br />-Best performance by a man in a horse costume.<br />-Folk music has never seemed so sinister.<br />-Best performance of a song Eli Roth had no fucking right to use in his worst movie.<br />-Innkeeper abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">A</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5FdV-O8o7ok?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5FdV-O8o7ok?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">78. The Wicker Man</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/355686.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 911px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/355686.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Take everything I just said about the original, and reverse it. What a fucking joke. It has the same basic story as the first one, even though I still have no idea what the point of the prologue is. Is it to give him motivation to find the missing girl as redemption? But couldn't that be accomplished through what he learns about the missing girl? Fuck it, I don't know. Anyways, instead of it being your typical seeming town who relies on an apple harvest, the remake turns Summerisle into a matriarchal society who depends on honey for their crop. It's an interesting take, with women in power and tying it into the society of the bees where the queen is the most important member, but the movie doesn't really do anything with it. Nor anything else, for the most point. Nicholas Cage, who must of stopped taking his meds in a bid for method acting, runs around the island emoting like a fifteen-year old on Facebook. I don't know if he was trying to portray a man with bipolar, but he succeeds admirably. The movie's story consists of Cage hitting different points on the island as a "best-of" from the original and taking time out to slap women around. If you didn't think Neil LaBute hated women before with his other films, you can't deny it with this one. It somehow accomplishes being both boring and rushed at the same time, until it ends in the most ludicrous way possible, all thanks to Cage. That's really the only saving grace for the entire film. Cage's unintentional hilarity is already the thing of internet memes history, and deservedly so. But if you were going in to this thinking it'll be hilariously bad the whole way through, you'll be sadly let down. It's a mostly humorless, ridiculous wreck of a film. It's just all so stupid, you almost want to put a helmet on it to stop it from hurting itself.<br />Sights within:<br />-How did the fucking truck get on that side of the road anyway? How is that whole scene even possible?<br />-How many times does someone have to yell "Rowan" before they realize it's not accomplishing anything.<br />-Best performance by Nicholas Cage in a bear costume.<br />-World's largest assembly of man-hating she-bitches on one island.<br />-Nicholas Cage: He really likes his bicycles.<br />-That scene in the classroom is just great.<br />-Ellen Burstyn abuse.<br />-Does Leelee Sobieski even serve a point in this movie?<br />-World's worst tacked on epilogue. <br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2QqgIzlmdBc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2QqgIzlmdBc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">79. Hit and Run</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i42.tinypic.com/2cq1wcj.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 700px;" src="http://i42.tinypic.com/2cq1wcj.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />What an oddity. It looks cheap but has some polish, it tries to be serious but it's so stupid at the same time. The movie's constantly at odds with it self. A complete moron is heading home after binge drinking and runs over a guy, embedding him pretty well into her grill. She finds this out later of course, while she's grabbing a midnight snack, and thinks she's killed him. She drives out to the woods to bury the guy, without bothering to throw on a pair of pants or warm shirt even though there's a monsoon going on outside, indicative of the level of intelligence we're dealing with here. Of course he's not dead, and soon he's terrorizing the dip as you would imagine. The director tries to inject a lot of style and it gives the movie a slick feel even though it was obviously made on the cheap. I can't imagine what percentage of the budget went to using the Modest Mouse song. The problem is the film is just laughably stupid. The girl and her boyfriend are running on the same brain capacity as Delmar from <span style="font-style:italic;">O Brother, Where Art Thou?</span> so you can never take them seriously. When Mr. Roadkill comes back, he's played so over the top by Kevin Corrigan that there's no hope for menace. It's just so absurd that you can't help but laugh. You can't help but think the movie was funded by rich dipshits from Jersey shore and somehow found distribution. It's hard to make up my mind about this movie. I hate it because of its idiocy, but I love it for the perverse glee I got while watching it. I guess I'll meet it in the middle and declare it as "alright." <br />Sights within:<br />-Modest Mouse abuse.<br />-"Help me." "Die!"<br />-A frisbee is the most practical of all digging utensils.<br />-Are bipolar people allowed to be kindergarten teachers? <br />-Best performance by hyper-intelligent parrots.<br />-To cover up a possible hit and run, it is best to repeatedly bash your car into a tree to cover up any sort of evidence on your bumper.<br />-Car bumper adorned with human girl and lit Christmas lights.<br />-She's worried about being traced by a blanket, but apparently the traces of blood on her clothes, her car and in her house aren't a problem.<br />-When your husband chokes you out, maybe there's a call for more concern then you're showing.<br />-Electrical cord to the eye.<br />-World's most asshole boyfriend.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/c3LoSgowyNg?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/c3LoSgowyNg?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">80. Something with Bite</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.fearnet.com/fearnetImages/imfWEPI56f222+j4EmoQaaaTuA==.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 371px;" src="http://www.fearnet.com/fearnetImages/imfWEPI56f222+j4EmoQaaaTuA==.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />It's kind of sad that the one funny <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span> episode isn't from John Landis, but then again, most of Ernest Dickerson's movies have had a pretty good sense of humor. This one involves a sad-sack veterinarian getting bit by a dying werewolf and soon doesn't know whether he's responsible for a rash of killings. Wilbur, the vet, is what keeps the movie entertaining as we see him gain his confidence back and becomes someone we care about, all with a sense of fun. It's a shame the movie even has to deal with the sub-plot of the wolf killings since it takes away from the enjoyment of Wilbur and his family. But the manages to bring up a creative explanation that make sit worth it. This has one of the only memorable endings in the whole series thanks to how well it was pulled off. There were a few things I would have liked to see expanded on, but it was hobbled by the format of the series from the get-go. Still, it's one of the more enjoyable episodes.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most realistic depiction of a slob. <br />-I'm pretty sure a vet could tell the difference between a dog and a man-beast.<br />-Best performance by bushy eyebrows.<br />-Slacker abuse.<br />-A pretty cool, practical wolf outfit.<br />-Watch it <a href="http://www.fearnet.com/shows/fear_itself/b16550_fear_itself_something_with_bite.html">here</a>.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">(Couldn't find any specific videos for this one and I'm skipping the generic trailer so you're off the hook)</span><br /><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">81. The Girl Next Door</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://iconsoffright.com/news/images/GirlNextDoor.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 450px; height: 631px;" src="http://iconsoffright.com/news/images/GirlNextDoor.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I think I may have been ruined by the book. After reading Ketchum's novel for the first time, I felt traumatized, almost to the point of questioning why I like the genre so much and what that says about me. Thankfully, that passed by the next Tuesday's releases. I was hoping the movie would be able to inspire the same feeling but it falls somewhat short. The story concerns two young girls sent to live with their aunt, who then gradually heaps more and more abuse on them, inspiring the neighborhood boys to go along with it. We start out in the typical notion of what the 60's look like in films; sunny, hazy, yellows and oranges everywhere with kids smiling and classic cars driving around. By the time the movie ends, it's degenerated to the point of delving in filthy basements with ghoulish children sneering. It's not easy to watch this young girl broken down, but it still feels as though something's missing to make it really hit home. The movie stays relatively faithful to the book, only omitting elements for the sake of time. Every horrible element from the novel makes it here without any compromises, which means it should have the same impact but the execution diminishes it, especially the final few moments which feel very rushed. The look and feel of the movie comes across as very "TV Movie Of the Week," with the acting falling in line. It's never hard to forget you're watching a movie compared to the immersive experience of reading the book. The movie's not an easy watch, but for the full capabilities of the story, I'd suggest reading the novel first.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's worst fatherly talk about spouse abuse.<br />-Wonder how many cans of pomade they went through during production?<br />-Best performance by alcoholic minors.<br />-Blow torch abuse.<br />-Always walking in at the wrong time.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/typY725pjZ4?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/typY725pjZ4?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">82. New Year's Day</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://media.avclub.com/images/articles/article/13084/Fear_Itself_3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="http://media.avclub.com/images/articles/article/13084/Fear_Itself_3.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />One of the more disappointing entries of <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span>. When the combined talents of Steve Niles and Darren Lynn Bousman can't save ya, who can? A chain smoker wakes up with a mean hangover after a New Year's Eve party only to find a zombie outbreak. Cue up your typical story of trying to get through the zombies to a loved one, only shot in the most ADD way possible. I dare you to find a still image anywhere in this. The camera stutters around like the operator stepped on a live wire and was being fried even as the film rolled and the editing only serves as a back-up for sheer confusion. For forty minutes, we're treated to this chick wandering around through every zombie cliche as she agonizes over her maudlin boy troubles, the film losing momentum the longer it goes on. You just want to slap her before the movie's over. This was only forty-something minutes and it still felt long. It ends with a somewhat unique twist but it can't make up for the tedium that comes before it. <br />Sights within:<br />-Jump cut abuse.<br />-She has the voice of someone who's hung out in dive bars for twenty years. <br />-World's longest, uninteresting scene inside of a car park. <br />-Is she sure her roommate's not gay?<br />-Wow, who didn't see that coming about her boyfriend? That was so telegraphed, Western Union sent Joe Flaherty to deliver it.<br />-Best performance by motion sickness.<br />-Lionsgate seems to have a mandate where 80% of everything they distribute has to be shot with sickly blue, green, and orange filters.<br />-Watch it <a href="http://www.fearnet.com/shows/fear_itself/b14099_fear_itself_new_years_day.html">here</a>.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cuUYo09nHQI?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cuUYo09nHQI?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Movies Watched:</span> 6<br />-The Wicker Man<br />-The Wicker Man ('06)<br />-Hit and Run<br />-Something With Bite<br />-The Girl Next Door<br />-New Year's Day<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">New Movies Bought:</span> 0<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen DVDS:</span> 3190<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen Blu-rays:</span> 65<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen VHS:</span> 119<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen DVD-R'S:</span> 5<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Momma squeeze<br />Grace my spine<br />Walk on thru the camera eye<br /></span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-42368555906797193502010-09-08T11:40:00.000-07:002010-09-08T11:43:50.187-07:00Road to 500: The Blood StoneHello again. Kind of a brief update today, but that's what happens when most of the movies in it are short and boring. There's some more interesting movies coming up on the next post so stay tuned. Until then, be brave.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">70. Community</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://threeimaginarygirls.com/files/uploaded-images/FearItself_Community.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 320px;" src="http://threeimaginarygirls.com/files/uploaded-images/FearItself_Community.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Another of the <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span> mini-movies, this one directed by Mary Harron, of <span style="font-style:italic;">American Psycho</span> fame. Here she digs into another look at how society functions and how that can be twisted. Superman and <span style="font-style:italic;">Roswell</span> chick buy their first house in an exclusive private community but find out they don't agree with all of the rules placed upon them. This was actually fairly enjoyable after the first few minutes had me dreading what was to come. It's not terribly original (you sensing a pattern with these yet?), but does a competent job of keeping interest. Brandon Routh is the standout actor in this one and I'd like to see him get more roles since I think he got kind of maimed in the <span style="font-style:italic;">Superman Returns</span> aftermath. He's similar to Tom Cruise, but with talent and has his sanity in check. One of the better entries in the series, even if <span style="font-style:italic;">The X-Files</span> did it better in one of their episodes.<br />Sights within:<br />-Did I ever tell you how much I hate when a movie opens with something near the climax of the film, and then cuts to a flashback for the rest of the movie until it catches up to the prologue/climax? It's a fucking cheat. Just because you can't think of an attention-grabber in the first few minutes doesn't mean you can recycle shit from later on in the script. Cut it out.<br />-Yeah, that's just where I'd want to live. W.A.S.P. Central. I'd never survive there.<br />-World's most invasive bedroom television.<br />-Adulteress abuse.<br />-Dismemberment, Superman's only weakness.<br />-Best performance by a pair of scissors, a.k.a The <span style="font-style:italic;">Inside</span> Award.<br />-Watch it <a href="http://www.fearnet.com/shows/fear_itself/b14143_fear_itself_community.html">here</a>.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XAJvJ8lwyzM?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XAJvJ8lwyzM?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">71. The Sacrifice</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.horror-101.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/fearitself-thesacrifice.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 285px;" src="http://www.horror-101.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/fearitself-thesacrifice.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />The first of the <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span> movies to flat-out bore me. A bunch of dipshit hunters make their way to a giant-ass fort tended to by three sisters for help not knowing what lives in its walls. Blah blah blah. It's shot as boring as could be and the writing falls right in line with it. Every character is unlikeable and are the type of people you'd rather see get in a car accident caused by Bud Light. Rachel Miner shows up just because she heard Lionsgate was distributing a series of horror movies and was contractually obliged to appear in one. The story has trouble finding things to do even with a forty minute running time and...I've already run out of things to talk about. There's just nothing here worth a damn to even bring up, good or bad. This is more in line from what I'd expect from Breck Eisner. Bleh.<br />Sights within:<br />-Best performance by the fort from <span style="font-style:italic;">Ginger Snaps 3</span>, outside of <span style="font-style:italic;">Ginger Snaps 3</span>.<br />-If only all three of the sisters could have been mute.<br />-When there's even the tiniest bit of action, they bust out the piss-poor shaky-cam. WHY WON'T THIS FUCKING TREND DIE ALREADY?<br />-Uh, what's the story with the automatic weapons?<br />-Drunk in a leper-vampire costume abuse.<br />-World's most out-of-place wire-fu.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UogixSE2TKU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UogixSE2TKU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">72. Hellhounds</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.sliceofscifi.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/hellhounds_1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 430px; height: 605px;" src="http://www.sliceofscifi.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/hellhounds_1.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />When I saw the cover for this at the store, it had me, man. Some primitive part of my mind was all like "Alright man, fuckin' hellhounds. I'm gonna get me some hellhoundage on. HELLHOUNDS! WOOOOO!" After plunking down the $3.50 to add this little gem to the wall'o'DVDs, I bid my time, waiting for the right hour to strike <span style="font-style:italic;">Hellhound time</span>. Alas, it arrived. Time to unleash hell. Hounds. I put the disc in and waited. Waited for the hounds of hell. And waited. And kept waiting. For over an hour. Sure, there was a bunch of shit about going to Hades to save a queen's soul and yadda yadda. Don't care. Already saw <span style="font-style:italic;">Clash of the Titans</span>. Both of them. Don't need anymore. What I did need was hellhounds. Right away. Which I got, 72 minutes into an 86 minute movie. The hellhounds themselves looked like overgrown rats from a PS1 videogame and stood there while Whateverhisname-eseus stabbed them lethargically to end the movie. Needless to say this hellfan was helladisappointed with this one. I didn't ask for the kind of melodrama that would have been laughed out of a <span style="font-style:italic;">Xena</span> writing session. I asked for hellhounds, and got hellshit on. Fuck this.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's worst case of sour-lemon face for the entire movie. <br />-Everyone looks like they bought their costumes from Spencer's the day after Halloween. <br />-Attack of the rubber snake!<br />-Best performance of the line "Great Zeus!"<br />-Could that guy have a bigger mouth?<br />-Personal hopes and dreams abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/MBxyBJYg_U8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/MBxyBJYg_U8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">73. In Sickness and In Health</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://cdn1.gamepro.com/global/radar/blog_images/89833-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 480px; height: 275px;" src="http://cdn1.gamepro.com/global/radar/blog_images/89833-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />From John Landis comes a mini-movie that has no reason for existing. On her wedding day, a bride gets an anonymous note implying that her new groom is a murderer. Decent idea, poor execution. There is no tension, no surprises, no one to root for, just nothing worth watching it for. You can guess the twist ending three minutes into the movie which leaves you with nothing but 38 minutes of over-privileged going "What's wrong?" "Nothing. Well..." "What?" "Forget it." Is he or isn't he? Who cares? The acting is awful and everyone is played either smarmy, conceited, or just plain stupid, all of which leaves every actor looking like they're constipated. There's a few funny moments due to framing or items in the background but they're far too fleeting. Just, an exercise in tedium.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most obvious twist ending.<br />-Every character acts in a completely unmotivated way, slaves to the path the story wishes to take.<br />-Best performance by a mentally handicapped bridesmaid, which is really the only way I can explain why she is truly one of the stupidest characters in film history.<br />-There's like four subplots that seem about to bubble up and then they're left to die.<br />-John Landis abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CqlIu0hj52M?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CqlIu0hj52M?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">74. Dragon Wars</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/402873.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 856px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/402873.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />You have to understand that when I say that this is a good movie, I'm saying so because it's so deliriously incompetent. It's a horribly fun movie just a step above <span style="font-style:italic;">House of the Dead</span>. The plot involves some overly complicated legend about dragons coming true in downtown L.A., but I don't think even the director could make sense of it. Some wouldn't classify this as a horror movie, but I lump it in the same way I do with the Godzilla movies. They're about giant monsters slamming the shit out of things so they fit in my book. This one is so fun simple because of the complete lack of any rational thought in the film. Character's action make no sense and neither does one aspect of the storytelling. It's almost like any sort of even the most basic touches of humanity's common sense was jettisoned during the production of this film. The editing is all over the place which is one of the main sources of laughter, as is the thought of the world depicted in this movie actually behaving in this manner. If any government force behaved the way they do in this, the world would be fucked. Surprisingly, even though this is obviously amateur hour, the dragon scenes are fantastic. The grand siege on L.A. is a blast to watch. The CGI isn't the greatest but it's definitely a few steps above the Syfy Channel's typical fare. With the army and dragons tearing the shit out of the city being so fun, you almost feel angry that the movie has to return to the two main characters of Tweedledee and Tweedledum, but at least it finishes off with one last good dragon fight. If you enjoy bad movies, this is one of this generation's funnest. Enjoy with an ice-cold six-pack for maximum enjoyment.<br />Sights within:<br />-Any movie that begins right away with flashbacks within flashbacks is okay in my book.<br />-So she's just turned 20, yet the best solution is for her to hit the bar?<br />-Token black character abuse. They fucking leave Craig Robinson on the side of the road with the evil dude, only for him to be perfectly cool with it the next day.<br />-Best performance by Robert Forster's hairplugs. <br />-They run away for dear life, only to take a romantic, leisurely stroll on the beach during sunset?<br />-World's only awesome depiction of a traditional Chinese dragon.<br />-There are scenes in here that I swear are stolen from <span style="font-style:italic;">Power Rangers.</span><br />-The final scene is hilarious. WHERE THE FUCK IS HE WALKING TO?<br />-There's really nothing that I could write about this movie that could top what Scott Foy wrote in what's basically a thesis on the film. Check it out <a href="http://www.foywonder.com/current_columns/foy_1007.html">here</a>.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YnQXvQ1R4gg?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YnQXvQ1R4gg?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">75. Family Man</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3a/Family_Man_(Fear_Itself_episode)_screenshot.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 350px; height: 173px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3a/Family_Man_(Fear_Itself_episode)_screenshot.png" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />The most boring of the <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span> films. A man gets in a car crash and switches bodies with a serial killer for no reason whatsoever, thus the nice guy is in prison while the killer lives with the man's family. You'd imagine there'd be something interesting here but there's not. Even Clifton Collins looks bored. The whole thing consists of the two meeting at the jail, the nice guy warning the killer to stay from his family and the killer responds with thinly veiled threats. Repeat and repeat until the climax ends lethargically. It's shot flatly which is disappointing as Ronny Yu is usually quite capable of making even the worst movie look great. This feels like a TV movie, with a TV plot, starring primarily TV actors. This was obviously not for me.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's best example of why you shouldn't use your fucking cell phone while driving.<br />-Bumblebee costume abuse.<br />-There's a decent fight until it ends abruptly. It was so good it almost raised me out of my stupor.<br />-Best performance by an angry family dinner scene.<br />-This guy is probably one of the most shit upon characters in a movie.<br />-Watch it <a href="http://www.fearnet.com/shows/fear_itself/b14352_fear_itself_family_man.html">here</a>. <br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">(Once again, generic trailer time.)</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1BpYEYJVRTY?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1BpYEYJVRTY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Movies Watched:</span> 6<br />-Community<br />-The Sacrifice<br />-Hellhounds<br />-In Sickness and In Health<br />-Dragon Wars<br />-Family Man<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">New Movies Bought:</span> 0<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen DVDS:</span> 3196<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen Blu-rays:</span> 65<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen VHS:</span> 119<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen DVD-R'S:</span> 5<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">My mom says I'm a catch<br />I'm popular</span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-57070027383572018922010-09-07T14:03:00.000-07:002010-09-08T11:42:50.646-07:00Road to 500: AftershocksSee, told you there'd be new stuff, and there's still some other features I'm hoping to start up here. Send me any suggestions or criticisms you may have as any would be appreciated. For now, welcome back to the challenge of the insane.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">63. The Baby's Room</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTdj8zhV3om2KbTTi29cIUhUIMNYLO8SwiB8Svdj7tIqrgwyEX45niBBcqG6_qVFIdFOIKFCxwPFg6Ao2oqtXPtIn3xjwi8Qch5eEMNSwNCbgymA1E3TDpmMJpnLL03lTHhF7W491KizUu/s1600/0095f7x1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 223px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTdj8zhV3om2KbTTi29cIUhUIMNYLO8SwiB8Svdj7tIqrgwyEX45niBBcqG6_qVFIdFOIKFCxwPFg6Ao2oqtXPtIn3xjwi8Qch5eEMNSwNCbgymA1E3TDpmMJpnLL03lTHhF7W491KizUu/s320/0095f7x1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514268427328704290" /></a><br />Yet another one of the <span style="font-style:italic;">6 Films to Keep You Awake</span> (don't worry, they're almost done). This was one of the better entries of the set, even if it's full of cliches and rather predictable, but the execution pulls it off. A couple buys a baby monitor for their newborn and the father begins seeing a man lounging in the house when he shouldn't be there, escalating from there. It's not overly flashy but the way it's directed lends itself to some decent chills, especially when the father is running around the house with a baby monitor like it's a weapon in <span style="font-style:italic;">DOOM</span>, though the predictability of the ending takes away some the suspense it manages to sustain up until then. The acting is great and believable, something that's nice to see for a shorter movie when they're typically the victim of Movie-of-the-Week syndrome. A decent movie and probably the third best of the six films. <br />Sights within:<br />-Baby monitor abuse.<br />-Best performance by a magazine editor. <br />-Come on, you dense bastard. Even if you've only read Bruce Corville stories as a kid, you should know where this is going.<br />-World's most debonair doppleganger.<br />-Hitting on the baby-store lady. Shameless.<br />-Watch it <a href="http://www.fearnet.com/movies/b19870_babys_room.html">here</a>.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">(And once again...)</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/doTD0AmfHok?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/doTD0AmfHok?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">64. To Let</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD-Ct6TLzmMh-HnE8ER9042ka8CBOJBuvUa6MMQ5awOtRoL1UA7WOcrUMuvMZPqY4xeCmfUv7zCt4u3IWcuWtnNrpW3CMBLLolD5YktIIjxS_zhDqrjagHZWVvP8M6CSJrWAs2U6Kf-XYS/s1600/peliculas6722imagen11.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 226px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD-Ct6TLzmMh-HnE8ER9042ka8CBOJBuvUa6MMQ5awOtRoL1UA7WOcrUMuvMZPqY4xeCmfUv7zCt4u3IWcuWtnNrpW3CMBLLolD5YktIIjxS_zhDqrjagHZWVvP8M6CSJrWAs2U6Kf-XYS/s320/peliculas6722imagen11.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514270128552035106" /></a><br />Finally, the last of the <span style="font-style:italic;">6 Films</span>, this one directed by one of my favorite newer director of the last ten years, Jaume Balagueró. Somehow, he's the one director on the same wavelength as to what can actually scare me, with most of his films leaving me on edge and thinking about them later on in the night, even with his lesser films such as <span style="font-style:italic;">Darkness</span>. With <span style="font-style:italic;">To Let</span>, he's not going for fright so much as he is suspense, which it delivers. A couple go out to scout a possible new apartment only to find out that the landlord is a couple bottles short of a six-pack. All of Balagueró's films utilize their setting to deliver a large amount of the film's atmosphere with this one being no different. The apartment building is rundown and broken, bringing to mind rusted industrial areas, without which the film wouldn't be as good as it is. The acting is decent enough to serve the story but only the landlord really stood out, though the leads don't really have enough time to develop anymore than your standard horror protagonists. It's good suspense piece that keeps things moving once it gets going. Probably the second best of the set.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's biggest pizza cutter.<br />-What's with the painting with the baby?<br />-Loved the theremin music.<br />-Toaster abuse.<br />-A mean-ass garbage disposal.<br />-Best performance by a man on a chain.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">(Now I'm just being an asshole.)</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/doTD0AmfHok?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/doTD0AmfHok?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">65. Primal Rage</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://cover7.cduniverse.com/CDUCoverArt/video/Large/8204085.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 380px; height: 570px;" src="http://cover7.cduniverse.com/CDUCoverArt/video/Large/8204085.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Code Red does it again. I had this on VHS, but I didn't realize it until after I ordered the DVD so I can't complain about never knowing about this movie just because I fucking forgot I had already shelled out money for it before. Still, it's one most people must have overlooked because I've never heard anyone, online even, ever mentioning it. Prior to <span style="font-style:italic;">28 Days Later</span>, a journalist for the university's newspaper breaks into the science professor's lab to document his experiments on animals gets bit by an infected monkey and unleashes a virus that brings out the animalistic rage in its victims. It was obviously made in America, but you can tell it's an Italian production. The tone and style fits hand-in-hand with other mid-80's Italian horrors, such as <span style="font-style:italic;">Demons</span>. Claudio Simonetti even does the music score, causing a double take every time it comes on just because you're not expecting a score like his when there's no one being dubbed anywhere. The characters are surprisingly likable for a film like this and you genuinely don't want anything bad to happen to them. When things do go south, it has a very mean-spirited tone underneath it all that gives the film more bite than it otherwise would. It's still fun but it's not lighthearted fun with many gruesome kills played seriously. It's not a life changing movie or anything, but it is a hell of a lot of fun and never felt boring once. It definitely deserves a larger following than it has and I'd say it's one of the better films Code Red has released thus far.<br />Sights within:<br />-Ahhh!! 80's teen-life montage during the opening credits! Run!<br />-World's oldest man to have a rat-tail. Holy shit, it's Bo Svenson!<br />-Yeah, man. Fuck waiting rooms!<br />-Monkey abuse. <br />-Best performance by a splattered windshield.<br />-Surprisingly effective skeleton costumes.<br />-The movie needs to be seen just for the Halloween party scene. There is some crazy-ass costumes going on that puts anything I've seen in the last ten or fifteen years to shame.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CisF2exXwDQ?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CisF2exXwDQ?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">66. Ghost Game</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/479472.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 820px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/479472.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I realized I was having too much fun watching respectable films so I forced myself to watch one of the dozens of DV movies I had picked up for eighty cents a pop once, regretting it almost instantly. A group of teens (whoa! originality!) go to a cabin in the woods (whoa! whoa!) and find themselves haunted by the ghosts of wiccans (kill me now, please) who had died trying to raise some all-powerful she-bitch or something (it's never quite clear). Do I care about any of this? No. Every character is a moron with no grounding in reality, the movie looks like it was shot on a cellphone, and nothing in the story makes any sense. If even one of those aspects had been done adequately it could have maintained some interest. It just drug on and on going through the motions of what's required for the most generic horror plot imaginable. I've already spent more time writing this than it deserves. Run away from this and never look back.<br />Sights with: <br />-These broads are what wiccans looked like in the 70's? To me, it just looked like they had bought a bunch of shit from Hot Topic, but what do I know?<br />-Tail light's out, bub.<br />-World's worst human interactions.<br />-Every shot ends 15 seconds later than it should like they're waiting for lines or something.<br />-Best performance by stock fireplace sound effects even when THERE IS NO FUCKING FIRE IN THE FIREPLACE!<br />-Why is everyone obsessed with Cousin Ted? He's the dippiest dipshit to grace tv screens in years.<br />-Canoe photography abuse.<br />-Acid dirt! NOOOOO!<br />-Watch it <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAa9_AMnsy0&ob=av1e">here</a>.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Vn0iCwDeORI?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Vn0iCwDeORI?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">67. Eater</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.slantmagazine.com/images/house/television/eater.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 602px; height: 300px;" src="http://www.slantmagazine.com/images/house/television/eater.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">(There are apparently no individual posters for these films so I'll just post some decent screenshots.)</span><br />Just when you end one fucking film series, it turns out you've got another boxset just waiting for you. This is from the first and only series of <span style="font-style:italic;">Fear Itself</span>, which is really just <span style="font-style:italic;">Masters of Horror</span> series 3. Some would argue that these aren't films, but <span style="font-style:italic;">Masters of Horror</span> were originally created as direct-to-video stand alone movies before Showtime offered to throw them some money if they could premiere them before their DVD release. This being the next generation of that plan, I'm still going to go with the idea that they're stand alone movies, even if they run even shorter and are watered-down to meet broadcast standards. Besides, this is Stuart Gordon we're talking about here and anything he touches is worth checking out at least. In this one, a voodoo-endowed cannibal is caught and kept in police lock-up overnight with a minimally staffed crew. The beginning of the movie is full of awful dialog and forced characterization, but the last half is decent even if it's a touch predictable. The cannibal himself is played by a Stephen Hart that you may have seen elsewhere but he always leaves an impression no matter where you see him. It uses the setting to great effect and adds a lot to the movie. Without Hart or the setting this would be pretty forgettable, but as it stands, it's fun, quick little diversion for less than an hour.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most annoying fucking menus that always spends half a minute playing the Eater's chant before you can do anything. And it's the same for all four fucking discs!<br />-Big-ass cannibal.<br />-World's worst generalizing of horror fans.<br />-Pizza abuse.<br />-Don't waste that heart. Why, you get some water on the stove and you got yourself a stew brewing.<br />-Best performance by an abused pizza.<br />-Watch it <a href="http://www.fearnet.com/shows/fear_itself/b13914_fear_itself_eater.html">here</a>.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span> <br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZL8Mvr_Hve0?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZL8Mvr_Hve0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">68. Spooked</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tvsquad.com/media/2008/06/fear-itself-spooked_080612.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 425px; height: 299px;" src="http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tvsquad.com/media/2008/06/fear-itself-spooked_080612.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />This is Brad Anderson's entry, which was enough reason for me to buy the set. After <span style="font-style:italic;">Session 9</span>, I'll buy whatever his name ends up attached to. This is one of his lesser efforts, but it's still worth checking out. Eric Roberts plays an ex-cop with a past who now works as a private investigator and finds more than he wanted to during an investigation. Despite all the jokes made at his expense, I've always liked Eric Roberts and this whole thing hinges on him, which he manages to hold together by bringing an authentic worn-down aesthetic to the story. It seems as though it wants to go for more atmosphere than the shortened, low budget television format will allow, but the effort is appreciated. It's a fairly predictable once it gets going but some of the minor touches, such as the paintings on the wall, add some effective touches that make it worth watching. It's entertaining, just don't expect anything you haven't seen before.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most graffitied house.<br />-Best performance by a flashback. <br />-Eric Roberts, like Julia but less equine.<br />-A really effective thermal-vision scene.<br />-Jack Noseworthy abuse. <br />-Watch it <a href="http://www.fearnet.com/shows/fear_itself/b13917_fear_itself_spooked.html">here</a>.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">(Can't find any specific clips, so welcome to general trailer town.)</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1BpYEYJVRTY?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1BpYEYJVRTY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">69. Vampyres</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://classic-horror.com/images/vampyres_1974_poster_01.preview.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 428px; height: 640px;" src="http://classic-horror.com/images/vampyres_1974_poster_01.preview.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Fairly appropriate numbering. One of the films to launch an entire wave of Euro-vamp films, it functions well as a dreamlike excursion into gothic horror. A pair of vamps lure men home to their castle while another couple camping on the castle grounds begin to suspect something's going on. Really though, plot matters very little in films as this. Ideas are presented but never expounded upon, leaving them up to your own interpretations, something I always really enjoy to a reasonable extent but I know others can't stand it, so you should probably know that going in. Are the women really vampires? Ghosts? Or most horrible of all, vampire ghosts? The movie lets you figure it out as it's too busy working a haze around the whole thing. Just who or what some of the other characters are never explained, almost to a frustrating degree, but it all works to create a film that's focused on mood and atmosphere. If you're able to slip out of your typical expectations of films and slide into the movie's groove, it's worth the experience.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most batty credits.<br />-Best performance by two absolutely disgusting kissers.<br />-Who would ever think Ted was special enough to keep around?<br />-It's been three weeks since I watched this and I still have no idea what their attitude with Harriett was. <br />-I'm doubting we'll see a resurgence of the old-fashioned gothic vampire story of the likes of this one. Lord knows we need our vampires wearing fashionable latex and brandishing automatic weapons.<br />-Conclusion of a story abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dRumKL7zxBM?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dRumKL7zxBM?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Movies Watched:</span> 7<br />-The Baby's Room<br />-To Let<br />-Primal Rage (VHS)<br />-Ghost Game<br />-Eater<br />-Spooked<br />-Vampyres<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">New Movies Bought:</span> 0<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen DVDS:</span> 3202<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen Blu-rays:</span> 65<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen VHS:</span> 119<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen DVD-R'S:</span> 5<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">There's nothin' wrong with goin' nowhere, baby<br />But we should be goin' nowhere fast<br /></span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-26932028977480337892010-09-04T10:29:00.001-07:002011-06-05T19:03:54.299-07:00Everyone's a Critic<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vj0Md1ZmWpk?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vj0Md1ZmWpk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />As I'm about to embark on a separate undertaking only tenuously related to this blog, I began thinking about what it really means to review something; to ingest a film or book or album, whatever may be one's field of choice, and pick it apart, holding each aspect up to one's own standards of excellence and then presuming they have the knowledge to tell others what is worthy of being seen and what should be discarded. How do we decide who has the right to make these calls? And just what in the hell is the point of it all anyways?<br /><br />Opinions, much like assholes, are within even the simplest minds' capabilities. "I like this." "That sucked." All rather eloquent and to the point. These are the examples of what the typical person would say to sum up an experience with a film. Rarely do they offer up any substantial points to back up their opinion. When they do, it falls along the lines of "It was boring," or "That ending fucking sucked." If we were having just a simple conversation to kill time, I would have no trouble accepting such remarks, and as such, is the method of the majority of how the general populace discusses film, and as casual moviegoers, that's their right. However, these people end up making a lot of their film choices based upon the word of the "professional" critics, strangers they have never met but are willing to place their hard earned money (and let's not forget time) on a movie decided on by which direction the critic's appendage is pointing or some arbitrary scoring system which could range from 1-10, 1-5, 1-100, or any number of little tokens, i.e. "five stars," "five points," or, in one particular website, "five stabbys." What exactly is the conversion factor in stars to stabbys anyway?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEJpx3xxDewOn8PVEgSfCnQGO02Q77T9GYFtMLYzKzfd8zkpm48PywkAjETQWZsOLLxOmE0YLAfXhtWrpft1axPiZJ2WVpNEn7nWWTA25pcZra91hCJn3A0c430f0pd8SNrsTPEV-6WVR6/s1600/anton_critic.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 238px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEJpx3xxDewOn8PVEgSfCnQGO02Q77T9GYFtMLYzKzfd8zkpm48PywkAjETQWZsOLLxOmE0YLAfXhtWrpft1axPiZJ2WVpNEn7nWWTA25pcZra91hCJn3A0c430f0pd8SNrsTPEV-6WVR6/s320/anton_critic.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513149700847247714" /></a><br /><br />Since the dawn of art, there have been professional critics there to tear the work asunder. They are always there, telling you what you should see and how to see it. They state their remarks along with whatever trivial scoring system they use just in case the reader hasn't the capability for the reading comprehension needed in order to get the gist of the review when reading the main text, and leave it as gospel. How exactly do we choose these figureheads, these cultural trailblazers? It can't be for writing prowess. Here's an excerpt from the first review I came across on the website for Roger Ebert, probably the most well known and respected movie critic of our time (go to hell, Peter Travers), where he judges the recent George Clooney film, <span style="font-style:italic;">The American</span>:<br /><br />"<span style="font-style:italic;">His weakness is love. Clara, the prostitute, should not be trusted. We sense he uses prostitutes because he made a mistake in the relationship that opens the film. In his business he cannot trust anybody. But perhaps Clara is different. Do not assume from what I've written that she isn't different. It is very possible. The film ends like a clockwork mechanism arriving at its final, clarifying tick.</span>"<br /><br />Now there's nothing wrong with that, other than it feels like something no more profound or insightful than what a high school freshman is capable of, it's perfectly serviceable for alerting others that this is a decent movie. However, as a serious film critic, a film <span style="font-style:italic;">scholar</span> some would say, it is not what I would call engaging film discussion. I want some finesse, some style, some fucking <span style="font-style:italic;">meat</span> in my film discussion (<span style="font-style:italic;">probably because I don't feel like my writing is adequate enough to do so enough on my own-ed.</span>). Ebert's typical reviews consist of primarily recounting the major plot points and adding his own insights on them as he goes, witty or not, that's up to the reader I suppose. And that's fairly typical review writing no matter the source from what I've gathered by reading dozens of them a day. The excerpt above comes from the concluding paragraph of Ebert's review, a place where all the threads of discussion and any points he may have been bringing up are typically woven together into an overarching comment on what the movie means and its merits, much like how every aspect of the film's plot should come together as one final denouement that sums the entirety of its parts into a cohesive meaning (<span style="font-style:italic;">much unlike my writing, apparently - ed.</span>). There is no more thought put into the review than the first ramble of shit that came to mind before he had some lemonade and quit for the day. And sadly, this is considered the best film criticism in the world, it seems. I will say this for Armond White, he writes his fucking heart out, even if it doesn't make any sense in the end.<br /><br />Now, that's the typical viewpoint of critics. In my dealings with the human race, I'm perfectly aware that there are such feeble minded patrons out there that actually need to be told what they should see. The senior citizens that go see films such as <span style="font-style:italic;">District 9</span> just because they're nominated for Best Picture and end up walking out halfway through after realizing their ungodly mistake are such an example. But I believe the rest of the world are perfectly capable of making the call on what to see on their own. They know what they want to see and look for the critics' opinions to back them up. For some reason, mankind is determined to always be right. If a person likes a movie, they'll look for others' reviews online. The ones that disagree with their own personal opinions "can go fuck themselves" while the reviews that fall in line with their own views "know what they're talking about. Man." God help you if you want to discuss a film you didn't care for while the other person loved it. They'll take it as a personal attack, even in an environment such as a film school where you should actually be active in discussing and comparing views on film. Go ahead and try it sometime, see how the other person reacts. <br /><br />But I think that's a negative view on why people are obsessed with reviews. What I'd really like to believe is that we're all just looking for some <span style="font-style:italic;">real</span> discussion. Those that are passionate about film love to push their favorites and talk about everything they can. At least for me, when I see a new movie that I love, I need to tell someone. I need others to see what I've seen because I feel like it needs to be shared. For example, I recently watched Code Red's release of <span style="font-style:italic;">Primal Rage</span>, a great 80's precursor to <span style="font-style:italic;">28 Days Later</span>. I know for a fucking fact no one around me has seen that movie. Even my wife, my go-to liaison for such things, had to sleep when I watched it so she'd have no idea what the hell I was talking about. I did pop it back in so she could at least see the great costumes made up for the Halloween sequence. When you get into the really obscure titles, the internet is sometimes the only place to turn to for any thoughts on subject at all. In <span style="font-style:italic;">Primal Rage</span>'s case, the DVD sold piss-poor numbers (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Primal-Rage-Patrick-Lowe/dp/B003O7I710/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1283630574&sr=8-1">something you could help rectify by checking it out yourself</a>) so there's not a lot in the way of internet discussion either. Still, there's someone out there willing to talk shop with you, even if they're thousands of miles away. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPdJJC4HKCJyyIJXCXW3CmSlQ_FavtU8gRYBN0vJlu4kY6p7PYimNqrrtdxQzehDVuNxe0_kbRx48K91BccFoJdvi_XU68UeIEXwPeZe45xPZcT8vlMrEB67I7clOaN0r2hG9fVHE3uhF8/s1600/13106.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 302px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPdJJC4HKCJyyIJXCXW3CmSlQ_FavtU8gRYBN0vJlu4kY6p7PYimNqrrtdxQzehDVuNxe0_kbRx48K91BccFoJdvi_XU68UeIEXwPeZe45xPZcT8vlMrEB67I7clOaN0r2hG9fVHE3uhF8/s320/13106.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513150888440146642" /></a><br /><br />This is where I think blogs come in handy. Just from a horror fan's perspective, there are hundreds, nay, thousands of them littering the information superhighway, each barking their opinions and views for others to ingest. And that's not counting the insurgence of podcasts either. These are people with varying degrees of education or experience in the film industry, if any at all, so you can access a vast ocean of ideas and discussions. There's every style of writing for any kind of reader. They can range from a very specifically focused subject such as only dealing with Paul Naschy films, to grab-bag blogs where they go on about anything under the sun, kind of like this damn thing. They typically follow the pattern of running through the plot and summing up their experience in their reviews, followed by whatever scoring system they've chosen to adopt. But the thing that differentiates them from the "professional" reviews is that there is no pretentiousness. They know they're fans and they're really using these blogs as a means to discussion and pointing out films others may like. Most telling is that the <span style="font-style:italic;">passion</span> is still there. If you read Ebert's reviews, you'll notice almost a dejected feeling coming through. They typically read as he was there, he saw, and this is what he saw. Even the films he loves read across as disinterested anymore. It's just a job. Bloggers and podcasters are doing it out of love for their field. It takes more hours than you'd expect for even the simplest of posts, and they're not expecting anything out of it save for maybe a comment every now and then. True some make money off their sites, but I'd hardly call it a career. The motivating factor is out of the honest love for the genre, something that gives anyone of their articles more heart than anything Ebert's shuffled across in years. There's an honesty there that can't be found on your major news-sites.<br /><br />I know, I know. Who the fuck am I to go about Roger Ebert and criticism and blah blah blah? Well, I'm nobody. I have absolutely no pretensions about who I am other than I've been reading this shit for a long time. At this point in my life, I've become obsessed with film criticism and discussion, reading everything I can and spending at least three or four hours a day listening to various podcasts, and these are the things I've noticed. I won't pretend to not fall into the same traps that I just bitched about. I will say, I have yet to do what I'd offically call a "review" on this site. I consider what I have been doing no more than what I'd call little "write-ups," amounting to just whatever's on the tip of my tongue about any given movie when I write about it. I don't really put much thought into and spit it all out, word vomit if you will, and chug on through to the next one. I've yet to go back and do a polish or re-write on any of them so everything's been pretty much rushed-through first drafts so far. Probably not something you want to read on a blog you're visiting, but I'm being honest. I'll probably do real reviews at some point when it's called for but for now I'm fine with the way things have been going. I'm not pretending like I know what the fuck I'm doing, just that I want to write about my film experiences and hopefully point the way to some films that a reader may otherwise have overlooked. If some are actually entertained by my ramblings, then that's great to hear. Otherwise, I'm not really looking for anything out of this other than discussing film and inciting discussion, which is what I believe is the whole purpose of film criticism in the first place. <br /><br />Just watch some fuckin' movies, man.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYhydWY0D_0bUGogYKItA07SSr9k_PBTpxK7vjrFOxkGIkAdTJOPavQ6BQzo0eMutJScHpSwC0nVAcT_XTWYo4NH0nDmgcMR2mlh6NrSm_0Ese6QKAWw8dIOrbcjge5qPrvUSJZVbgj5IR/s1600/theCritic.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 314px; height: 257px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYhydWY0D_0bUGogYKItA07SSr9k_PBTpxK7vjrFOxkGIkAdTJOPavQ6BQzo0eMutJScHpSwC0nVAcT_XTWYo4NH0nDmgcMR2mlh6NrSm_0Ese6QKAWw8dIOrbcjge5qPrvUSJZVbgj5IR/s320/theCritic.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5513151052469857330" /></a>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-34181592203130088332010-09-03T16:21:00.000-07:002010-09-03T16:22:14.985-07:00Top 10: Nature Gone Wild Part 2'Elloo! As Mrs. Doubtfire would say. I won't keep you in suspense with another long-winded introduction, since I already did that last time. Here's the top five entries for your reading displeasure.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >5.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj67chAteghKk11XpeaZVhre_6Y7iT58Hf-FdRjSlGsDl40lIX_pofy8ZbbGYro2hiJ8CMUo4krBK3y5t_ikDBuMqHNj5pD9aHhg8Z3Yfqfb2BLMAkn84All65kywLXNfcWPWDF9NWg8d2b/s1600/ooo.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj67chAteghKk11XpeaZVhre_6Y7iT58Hf-FdRjSlGsDl40lIX_pofy8ZbbGYro2hiJ8CMUo4krBK3y5t_ikDBuMqHNj5pD9aHhg8Z3Yfqfb2BLMAkn84All65kywLXNfcWPWDF9NWg8d2b/s320/ooo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512766086876219410" border="0" /></a><br />Never fuck with the Weller. When one big honkin' rat makes life a living hell for Robocop, Alex Murphy becomes obsessed with its complete and total destruction.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyePuCIQpcuU9MgCNtWVqu4q37D8-ZEODULoP1b4WozMN4wXn0IW8q947bidW016XTGmztGjYyE6eufsZBVI_h1qCOcesBJJLvE2n21d7sJZOryBhyAQX0YcDVAJe2-6ZvjAf1c9RDv96w/s1600/OfUnknownOriginTeaser.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 182px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyePuCIQpcuU9MgCNtWVqu4q37D8-ZEODULoP1b4WozMN4wXn0IW8q947bidW016XTGmztGjYyE6eufsZBVI_h1qCOcesBJJLvE2n21d7sJZOryBhyAQX0YcDVAJe2-6ZvjAf1c9RDv96w/s320/OfUnknownOriginTeaser.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512772103303625842" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Weller's going about his business, enjoying his new life, when he takes care of a nest of rats he comes across in his town home. When momma rat finds out what happened to her babies, she sets out on a mission of vengeance against Weller. It's surprisingly a decent psychological thriller before the balls-out finale. Weller starts the film as your typical 80's businessman yuppie, but through momma rat's interference, he starts to mentally regress to a more primal state until he finally goes apeshit, destroying every inch of his house in the process.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeKFezy7Fkt0M4xTp70V9h7lQ2cc8Pk2tgmMZDvgrAtSCkEK4qV2P5DM82yBHw9EjbeJTIIPLeZCvnmqHSyYt9RjITDbFOLEIYHlPwInykdrhs41O6QzOBfSGVBnyV9sFn1RnOoy44gof7/s1600/rrrr.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 223px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeKFezy7Fkt0M4xTp70V9h7lQ2cc8Pk2tgmMZDvgrAtSCkEK4qV2P5DM82yBHw9EjbeJTIIPLeZCvnmqHSyYt9RjITDbFOLEIYHlPwInykdrhs41O6QzOBfSGVBnyV9sFn1RnOoy44gof7/s320/rrrr.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512775633151340482" border="0" /></a><br /><br />It's a bit of a slow burn through most of the movie, building the tension between Weller and the rat, until the epically deranged showdown where Weller does his best impersonation of Bob Villa on crank. Still, Weller makes every scene he's in engrossing, including an unintentionally hilarious business dinner where he goes off on a tangent about the nation's rat epidemic. His obsession with all things rat deepens until you completely buy his turn for the psychotic at the end. You come for the mutant rat, you stay for the Weller.<br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LYCNtAfQmFY?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LYCNtAfQmFY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >4.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjseVEnkCu6JQXmABhbZf0giEUdw5p_as1MHp8CzhmBVXaH_rvjD0I05d25de-8h6SlEWTfx40URkS21SJHzRXDaWX4Eo6v7bgrbJS9OPgDdHduTYn6J_mSD1Dv5XboNOY46qd_unlV3K9t/s1600/LakePlacidBox.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 227px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjseVEnkCu6JQXmABhbZf0giEUdw5p_as1MHp8CzhmBVXaH_rvjD0I05d25de-8h6SlEWTfx40URkS21SJHzRXDaWX4Eo6v7bgrbJS9OPgDdHduTYn6J_mSD1Dv5XboNOY46qd_unlV3K9t/s320/LakePlacidBox.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512777474625214882" border="0" /></a><br />I'm sure enough people have seen this one, but I didn't feel right not placing this somewhere on here as it fits with the tone of the others so well. This is a great example of how sometimes a big Hollywood budget can lend itself to a movie in ways the small scrapper films can't have. It never takes itself seriously which enables it to have the over the top set pieces that make the movie memorable. It doesn't hurt that the entire cast is in on it as well.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8m3t6rMF0MfwjumLbEzLeUbV46EG8XxUn5xV2rjI2dhNQAkq73cRFKKV6qPQWXDZAJ8KAaXLaKrTPWCH3ehiJAUDAqGWO7wdajqWJxL0myKWb5hKJHiZCHN1qB9cUT3rzYDcg8NG8y5gw/s1600/Lake-Placid_l.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8m3t6rMF0MfwjumLbEzLeUbV46EG8XxUn5xV2rjI2dhNQAkq73cRFKKV6qPQWXDZAJ8KAaXLaKrTPWCH3ehiJAUDAqGWO7wdajqWJxL0myKWb5hKJHiZCHN1qB9cUT3rzYDcg8NG8y5gw/s320/Lake-Placid_l.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512779108843643682" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Basically, a couple of bumblefuck sheriffs and a couple of specialists are on the hunt for a giant crocodile that's been eating the locals. And Betty White tells someone to suck her cock at one point. That's about it, but what it lacks in plot it makes up for in fun. Goofy characters and a sense of humor makes this one stand out from the myriad of killer croc/alligator movies that populate the earth.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpFE6GiTeU-UdCxNjzlK0ELRKShpsmPxvUc3GEqPbQP6k1gQw99LcAcEMXysTMZDhDm3fqBLDSvPkVyKGEpsBRnFxP3Ekw3LKrSJ1K4ZzBfcvwbXEPQj3yX4-krEMqFwytSposvfnOcUfw/s1600/MV5BMjEwNTQwNjA2Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNDkzMjY3._V1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 237px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpFE6GiTeU-UdCxNjzlK0ELRKShpsmPxvUc3GEqPbQP6k1gQw99LcAcEMXysTMZDhDm3fqBLDSvPkVyKGEpsBRnFxP3Ekw3LKrSJ1K4ZzBfcvwbXEPQj3yX4-krEMqFwytSposvfnOcUfw/s320/MV5BMjEwNTQwNjA2Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNDkzMjY3._V1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512781918754335058" border="0" /></a><br /><br />It's really hard to pass up a movie with Bill Pullman, Oliver Platt, Brendon Gleeson, and a foul-mouthed Betty White when they're all hamming it up. Plus, you get set-pieces such as a croc eating a cow or taking down a helicopter. The big-budget enables this to have decent effects (for the time) and have its monster gon on the rampage in a way that the Syfy flicks just can't. It seems to have found a second life on home video, which the Syfy Channel sequels can attest to, but if you haven't gotten around to checking it out, there's no better time.<br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fEd8PTPsFns?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fEd8PTPsFns?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >3.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHbyzipaOSZPvTHzCPv_t_tWoousbbGRbuW2q5_taPBpAdef1CuB7cRk89-yFcmL8g04ktP4oCXeQ35VqwQXDhrAhfBvw8AZWJQirmYobKarADvcaSJFwgKtcagcNIvMV5Jxx8TXuG77Oq/s1600/black-sheep_poster.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHbyzipaOSZPvTHzCPv_t_tWoousbbGRbuW2q5_taPBpAdef1CuB7cRk89-yFcmL8g04ktP4oCXeQ35VqwQXDhrAhfBvw8AZWJQirmYobKarADvcaSJFwgKtcagcNIvMV5Jxx8TXuG77Oq/s320/black-sheep_poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512784627802226546" border="0" /></a><br />Another movie tasked with turning the cuddly into ferocious, this one tops <span style="font-style: italic;">Lepus</span> if not in outlandishness than at least blood thirstiness. While in <span style="font-style: italic;">Lepus</span>, the most they showed was the victims getting slapped around by giant rabbit puppets, here, the sheep will tear you apart in a blink of an eye, with parts of the movie becoming a bloodbath.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPg0vBcdWyVMDeG9NxzBw_qKVWQjyLXUTLFOPeO9EEvjgpSWNCnEeX7MmUAdW857zls-sR3V6wMFt8JcuHNgjLqlk3YpwTFvlALSIj2aaUOdGuk2FEK2E_H1Xy3F0NBJ2DMAhpbve6kkbP/s1600/black_sheep-2.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPg0vBcdWyVMDeG9NxzBw_qKVWQjyLXUTLFOPeO9EEvjgpSWNCnEeX7MmUAdW857zls-sR3V6wMFt8JcuHNgjLqlk3YpwTFvlALSIj2aaUOdGuk2FEK2E_H1Xy3F0NBJ2DMAhpbve6kkbP/s320/black_sheep-2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512791679726650130" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Thanks to genetic testing, the genre's old friend, one farm's flock is turned into man-eating, woolly monsters. Not only that, but if some unfortunate individual is bitten by the lovable freaks and survive, they'll end up turning into a weresheep, something that I'm pretty sure is a first for cinema. It culminates in an outdoors board meeting being turned into an all-you-can-bleet sheep buffet as business men are torn asunder.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhswIvorGdxCXdv7FrfVUKl1-zgiY4fl-RrNj36rmaBtoLMqm2fm-N2FnOfKgBHf5zJn8AtFhNa3cjJCIYZkyjeO3Qvf9_SaQdYFuxH4NzCWnviRZjqCGzhJW3un__7Y9Ly2oBcQ_N9FnuT/s1600/bsheep1b.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 164px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhswIvorGdxCXdv7FrfVUKl1-zgiY4fl-RrNj36rmaBtoLMqm2fm-N2FnOfKgBHf5zJn8AtFhNa3cjJCIYZkyjeO3Qvf9_SaQdYFuxH4NzCWnviRZjqCGzhJW3un__7Y9Ly2oBcQ_N9FnuT/s320/bsheep1b.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512791523995256658" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The movie realizes how preposterous it is and never once tries for anything but laughs, making the film fun as hell to sit through. From baby sheep eating a hippy to a wave of murderous lambs covering the hillside like a battle from <span style="font-style: italic;">Lord of the Rings</span>, it's constantly hilarious. One scene involving a sheep driving a truck had both my wife and I laughing out loud. It's one that kind of flew under the radar for mainstream audiences but hopefully more people will be filling to track it down. It's an unheralded B-movie masterpiece.<br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0gEDUDmZkyc?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0gEDUDmZkyc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >2.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_-FFv2QUuOjQa2MRXuaO9xlD-UUQon_iCeWkhuCLOGakXFcmi2te_qpKhYxMPsRNZrRgqbmcI5aEheAst5rqChvnwkvGJmXf3TAe5EbPkTmBT1zS4IdD-0Qpe1KZ0OJTRHd1wAnxG4hXt/s1600/willard.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 216px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_-FFv2QUuOjQa2MRXuaO9xlD-UUQon_iCeWkhuCLOGakXFcmi2te_qpKhYxMPsRNZrRgqbmcI5aEheAst5rqChvnwkvGJmXf3TAe5EbPkTmBT1zS4IdD-0Qpe1KZ0OJTRHd1wAnxG4hXt/s320/willard.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512810778427065938" border="0" /></a><br />Another movie with more of a higher profile than others on the list, but I don't think it's as recognized as it should be. Coming from a time before horror remakes were the only thing we get anymore, it has a unique tone that sets it out from other horror films from the last ten years, both in execution and just for the sheer cajones of casting Crispin Glover as the main character in a Hollywood film.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbWArFHlbcQ35EuUgcZQYnJAo0nCUEY0wPaaKj45S3fqRTtDr0v5lDgCBtRdnvW5mW3PrZbHDKXgOI-hlVr5SCKl-Ws2N4tDvDE2l9rqZKSvUQVpTAPqDiCf22rF-6ge_HpyTONxpf1vV3/s1600/willard.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 315px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbWArFHlbcQ35EuUgcZQYnJAo0nCUEY0wPaaKj45S3fqRTtDr0v5lDgCBtRdnvW5mW3PrZbHDKXgOI-hlVr5SCKl-Ws2N4tDvDE2l9rqZKSvUQVpTAPqDiCf22rF-6ge_HpyTONxpf1vV3/s320/willard.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512816869423290674" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Willard is a repressed, lonely schmuck put upon by his mother, his scheming boss, and just about anyone else on the planet. He becomes friends with the rats in his basement, Ben in particular, and learns that these vermin will do his bidding if he wishes. Glover is manic but subtle enough that he comes across as a seriously unhinged person which society has thrown away and is the highlight of the movie, with the rats coming secondary.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioBlHD2jQ0eXp6iHQDTSwun5QHNtk90GaA_CNf1kbo6ota6m4Aj9qVO7egarK_2il8sTcbgF7rfF95JK9A7wSP8SE_yfyIgningyeUA8UrCA1lVD52YdUQ3csTiJW7Pu7P24iVdQLA01rZ/s1600/Willard_CT-2792.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioBlHD2jQ0eXp6iHQDTSwun5QHNtk90GaA_CNf1kbo6ota6m4Aj9qVO7egarK_2il8sTcbgF7rfF95JK9A7wSP8SE_yfyIgningyeUA8UrCA1lVD52YdUQ3csTiJW7Pu7P24iVdQLA01rZ/s320/Willard_CT-2792.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512817050286651586" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The movie around him serves almost as a character itself, with every location feeling grimy and dank, to the point that it would feel right at home in a 1940's noir. It also carries a demented sense of humor that plays out through the tone and performances. It almost feels like a Tim Burton movie if he hadn't been so busy remaking other crap into mediocrity. I can't say if it's better than the original since I only have fuzzy memories of watching it early in the morning when I was five, and thanks to various outlets pretty much depleting the DVD market, it doesn't look like it'll be coming out anytime soon. It's on Youtube apparently but unless it's something I've seen before, I can't stand watching a movie on the computer. I do know that the remake bombed spectacularly at the box office and has been a bargain bin staple for years. It deserves to be discovered and enjoyed.<br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eFTOppsw9Gs?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eFTOppsw9Gs?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >1.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6yU9hNypwaCOhYXPVlIK7tteWXmp4SRU6EgFkSwV2vKSKzNrXPQ5kVo8TR8tvkftpKYwO_qK4VjfQU1i3E2XDa_JQGHo9h8CGoWF3mP3h3UIVn0dZzvr9_BIyz16tKEsPOH7eSdWexE7Z/s1600/them.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 207px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6yU9hNypwaCOhYXPVlIK7tteWXmp4SRU6EgFkSwV2vKSKzNrXPQ5kVo8TR8tvkftpKYwO_qK4VjfQU1i3E2XDa_JQGHo9h8CGoWF3mP3h3UIVn0dZzvr9_BIyz16tKEsPOH7eSdWexE7Z/s320/them.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512817960578644978" /></a><br />At one point, I would have thought most people would have seen this by now, with its constant airing on TBS, but from trolling about on various forums, it seems not as many may have caught this as I would have thought. Besides how damn good the movie actually is, it's also here out of sheer respect for it. This movie pretty much created the template for hundreds, if not thousands, of giant insect movies to wholesale lift from. One of them was even on this list earlier.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUYrCM2w7ck-a5rVloDDXT4SIMDBg6PqCmPJBIbC5Qc06-wtKrgA8lKtPN5uHroDCCgH8p6VRKIM7o_Sh5lUrVa5K19qIiJGnZvm24RAud95eYHhdBgv9Kpod5Z9U8UkxIhrXRi9fmLM8q/s1600/them1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 236px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUYrCM2w7ck-a5rVloDDXT4SIMDBg6PqCmPJBIbC5Qc06-wtKrgA8lKtPN5uHroDCCgH8p6VRKIM7o_Sh5lUrVa5K19qIiJGnZvm24RAud95eYHhdBgv9Kpod5Z9U8UkxIhrXRi9fmLM8q/s320/them1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512829699692427442" /></a><br /><br />Irradiated ants grow to gigantic proportions in the desert and, despite army interference, make their way to the sewers of Los Angeles. The plot may sound familiar if you've dabbled in the genre even a little, but you have to understand, this fucker set the bar. You can spot scene after scene that was lifted into other films later, some of a completely different sort of movie altogether, such as <span style="font-style:italic;">Aliens</span>. There's humor, adventure, scares; everything you could want in a movie involving giant ants.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqgHk9OgHjR0Bb8q0dt8i5KyAmrzIp2JMMe97rgprcE96USz1K-z5LHsfZYp97os65q-6-d5OYRLnRCG9Ia2gQ7nT-FbmikEwvsU3YVOQjA4UmWs9bB6vHDYBQTQI4uycHfRRUDfDdqZrs/s1600/Them!+6.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqgHk9OgHjR0Bb8q0dt8i5KyAmrzIp2JMMe97rgprcE96USz1K-z5LHsfZYp97os65q-6-d5OYRLnRCG9Ia2gQ7nT-FbmikEwvsU3YVOQjA4UmWs9bB6vHDYBQTQI4uycHfRRUDfDdqZrs/s320/Them!+6.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512829889476250738" /></a><br /><br />When this was originally released, it played upon the public's recent awareness to nuclear radiation, much as <span style="font-style:italic;">Gojira</span> had the same year, which I'm sure had a startling effect on an audience not used to such stories. By the time I watched it, nuclear mutation was old hat even to a seven year old. However, that doesn't mean it didn't scare the hell out of me as a child. The ant puppets worked exactly as they should have on a kid with the finale in L.A's storm drains had me as tense as a nun at a screening of <span style="font-style:italic;">Cannibal Holocaust</span>. In fact, this left such an impression upon me, that six years later during a trip to Universal Studios, the tour bus driver pointed the storm drains as we went by and I flipped the fuck out, imagining giant ants rising from its sides to smash and devour gridlocked passerby's. I may be biased as my childhood memories place this above many others, but I still believe it holds up as a wonderful film that I think someone from any age would love. There were killer animal films before, and there were others afterward, but this is the quintessential example of the genre. <br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/q2PLls02gOU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/q2PLls02gOU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br />And there you go. What I consider the top ten killer animal flicks for you to check out. I think all ten of them fit a certain tone that would go fit well if you were to watch them together. Hopefully there's a few you might feel like checking out and giving them a shot. I think I've already decided what will be the next Top 10 feature but I'll get to that in a bit as there's a few other things I need to get to first. See you next time, and if you go into the woods, watch the fuck out! Crickets are about due for their own man-eating rampage by now.Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-80121290844156489562010-09-01T08:50:00.000-07:002010-09-01T12:28:30.761-07:00Top 10: Nature Gone Wild Part 1For my first official Top 10 list, I figured I'd go with what's probably my favorite sub-genre, Nature Gone Wild films, in honor of <span style="font-style: italic;">Piranha 3D</span>'s recent bombing at the box office, which is unfortunate as it was a good time as long as you don't think about it too much.<br /><br />When I look back upon my childhood and think about the movies I watched growing up, many of them were killer animal films. USA, TNT, and TBS had a healthy stock of animal films to choose from and would typically run them around 10 in the morning or around midnight, both falling into my favorite slots to watch movies at the time, even on school nights (I had and still have an annoying habit of avoiding as much sleep as possible). I would watch films like the adaptation of Guy N Smith's ludicrous giant crab novels and then play outside, freaking myself out with images of even the most docile creatures lurking, just waiting for me to cross their path. It's amazing what's possible in an eight year old's imagination.<br /><br />This obsession would follow me into adulthood without wane, save for actually being scared by the things. The shelf containing my collection of murderous wildlife is larger than many of the other more well versed genres, such as werewolves or zombies. It's even separated into sub-sub-genres with different sections for crocodiles, alligators, ants, spiders, snakes, dogs, cats, and so on. It's a field that I can't get enough of, and I can't be alone in this. The Syfy Channel has made a veritable cottage industry out of these films for their popular Saturday night movies.<br /><br />So with that, I give you the first half of the Top 10 Nature Gone Wild list of films that you should check out. I'll say right now that I disbarred <span style="font-style: italic;">Jaws</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">Cujo</span>, and <span style="font-style: italic;">The Birds</span> as everyone's heard of them. I like all of them, with two of them being a few of my favorite movies, ever, but I don't think I really need to recommend these to others at this point. If you haven't seen them by now, you will at some point with no need of any help on my part. This blog, more than anything, is about promoting movies people may not have heard about or don't receive as much attention as they should. I'm all about the <span style="font-style: italic;">new</span> rather than treading well worn ground. Also, I have roughly 60 more of these I still have to watch, including several well-regarded titles such as <span style="font-style: italic;">The Long Weekend </span>and <span style="font-style: italic;">Grizzly</span>, so this thing will probably change dramatically once I get to them. And so, here you go, crazy critter flicks from #10-#6:<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >10.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3x8x1_74B2OepmD0x6SwTRGyyxSK8uNrN4ERqQI9OsukuVJ9nFW74nQnfa0GbzU5pogMVJdVE-v8ywaouIv6rbL3m716pCHMHvv-smKApntKve5K8wnmDalDwYC9IkGvJOrFetywMT7R-/s1600/POSTER+-+SLUGS%3B+THE+MOVIE.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 218px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3x8x1_74B2OepmD0x6SwTRGyyxSK8uNrN4ERqQI9OsukuVJ9nFW74nQnfa0GbzU5pogMVJdVE-v8ywaouIv6rbL3m716pCHMHvv-smKApntKve5K8wnmDalDwYC9IkGvJOrFetywMT7R-/s320/POSTER+-+SLUGS%3B+THE+MOVIE.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511982586258536434" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:100%;">This </span>movie makes the list just out of its sheer audacity. I mean, slugs? And in such a vicious movie no less? I can't remember the reason for these things going Dahmer on people if there even was any, it's been too long since I watched it, but I can't imagine any justifiable excuse for this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp_C16RV1hmOQNPvTb7QK6nGmlH_2JeWDUKZ3oCb57IRaJqosa0uad4P7bjDTdTM2rIe-qa5t7PTIfHDEibOtkErfDMT9joy2vhRjyx-6nrTHVCMNZd3F14fNnWXU4owda1cuxjovtD2aS/s1600/slugs-still-2.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 169px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp_C16RV1hmOQNPvTb7QK6nGmlH_2JeWDUKZ3oCb57IRaJqosa0uad4P7bjDTdTM2rIe-qa5t7PTIfHDEibOtkErfDMT9joy2vhRjyx-6nrTHVCMNZd3F14fNnWXU4owda1cuxjovtD2aS/s320/slugs-still-2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511985511227000274" border="0" /></a><br /><br />If I saw a slug like that, I'd stay the fuck away from any gardening areas for the rest of my life. The movie rolls out one whacked idea after another. Slugs can pull people from a boat just by grabbing onto any toes they may be dipping. Wait, can slugs even go in the water? Also, apparently if you chop a slug into pieces and serve it with salad, the next day YOUR MOTHERFUCKING FACE WILL EXPLODE! Scientists never warned us about the perils of slug ingestion.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAB4S7E7J3j8AFNN-gbJe0LD1QflfrZ_1tAXJhZo7rg8gN262l2cDE2GWbko7kYDfSJAhk6v4N7L-e3ifMlH8ChfdTTUICQX-Q8tRkAmPUL4cmK54vZhTJXV9el8-UrHH6eET972KmVTWc/s1600/slugs3.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 218px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAB4S7E7J3j8AFNN-gbJe0LD1QflfrZ_1tAXJhZo7rg8gN262l2cDE2GWbko7kYDfSJAhk6v4N7L-e3ifMlH8ChfdTTUICQX-Q8tRkAmPUL4cmK54vZhTJXV9el8-UrHH6eET972KmVTWc/s320/slugs3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511991031355718290" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The movie is insane in what it's trying to pass off. The fact that it does so completely straight-faced adds even more lunacy to the buffet. This was directed by the same man that brought the world <span style="font-style: italic;">Pieces</span> which is legendary even to those that haven't seen it yet, such as myself, so maybe it doesn't come as any surprise to how nonsensical this came out. Can you imagine the pitch session for this? Or the crazy bastards that bought into it? It was also based on a series of lurid books by U.K. Shaun Huston that I have to track down and see what else can be wrought from this premise. A remake perhaps...?<br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JvS3ZXZRSsk?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JvS3ZXZRSsk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >9.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWAORehusBC69O6kDg2kzC-6evHhIfzpvAooZW8zg9UQYBNYTzi_JQXMFNI7yeSbY1ivMJgzPa00ohFZ5m5U1Ly7ZSu91a1JqVMqdzrm1qQfBkKhhY3wuHpdvWpKr6mX9gpYAqAiHBk1FP/s1600/icespiders.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 219px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWAORehusBC69O6kDg2kzC-6evHhIfzpvAooZW8zg9UQYBNYTzi_JQXMFNI7yeSbY1ivMJgzPa00ohFZ5m5U1Ly7ZSu91a1JqVMqdzrm1qQfBkKhhY3wuHpdvWpKr6mX9gpYAqAiHBk1FP/s320/icespiders.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511989143968636770" border="0" /></a><br />What a genius idea. "Hey Bob, let's make anodda giant spida movie." "I don't know, Sammy. Ain't it been done before?" "Well, let's throw 'em in da fuckin' snow then. Shit." And the rest, they say, is history.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7xnmcA2O49QvVadm55t6IoBpVZ3ZcHALGtCf2fcspYvgTYpK6Zpdn8owhgZr3qN7hEt3xaC0HtctV3bhZ7QO1Cv6qOjSvcnT2iGPc4YfhH_dmXz1E3I70n7Lt3jMQlXCOC3li_o-DCjFi/s1600/04935325_.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7xnmcA2O49QvVadm55t6IoBpVZ3ZcHALGtCf2fcspYvgTYpK6Zpdn8owhgZr3qN7hEt3xaC0HtctV3bhZ7QO1Cv6qOjSvcnT2iGPc4YfhH_dmXz1E3I70n7Lt3jMQlXCOC3li_o-DCjFi/s320/04935325_.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511992456105294690" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Scientists create giant spiders for some sort of mumbo jumbo which then get loose and terrorize the morons at a local resort. Patrick Muldoon, in the role of his career, must save the various shred heads from badly rendered CGI. The movie's awful but it never fails to bring out the laughs. Just the first sight of Muldoon alone will bring on the hysterics, even more so once he opens his mouth and his pot-soaked, desperately "hip" delivery elevate this movie to a whole other level of What Were They Thinking?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOg0uh_XkGzJR-O8jjz2uOM0SEuIvAkN_6iyTCYrUlBsdgVnTtDQWH11RVsGZPlU9l0Z-MP-7289tRRio0oVXe5aTBsPDv85R_omDb_ogI8JXXsXdggIGjXD0pDfLKox36rOuFXMk7ifIc/s1600/images.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 275px; height: 183px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOg0uh_XkGzJR-O8jjz2uOM0SEuIvAkN_6iyTCYrUlBsdgVnTtDQWH11RVsGZPlU9l0Z-MP-7289tRRio0oVXe5aTBsPDv85R_omDb_ogI8JXXsXdggIGjXD0pDfLKox36rOuFXMk7ifIc/s320/images.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511994907236389602" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The spider attacks are the main draw here with each one being hilarious in someway. The sight of snowboarders being plucked out of the air while jumping makes my hateful heart grow two sizes bigger. A scene with skiers trapped in a bus seems more complicated than it should be just out of human stupidity. And apparently, when spiders eat, they do so in a spectacularly gruesome fashion.<br /><br />This is one of the few Syfy Channel movies done right, where there's no pretension of grandeur. It knows what it is and revels in its own stupidity, yet Patrick Muldoon's mastery of the theatrical arts will make you believe in the human spirit. Ha! Eat it, Peter Travers!<br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tooc16OrWPk?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tooc16OrWPk?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >8.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdhmr89av7WnEgpOpD7IErei2Al7v7PMWerAWa1o_lPe5lMDw_BhgakClYq_-mB_wCresiG39q6lWTE5_G30wRXt1ebjfDUSJ5r6dk4QqDW_cakkOIXir9Bx07UmWwGpb8Jo_Jv-DwtJlM/s1600/frankenfish.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 222px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdhmr89av7WnEgpOpD7IErei2Al7v7PMWerAWa1o_lPe5lMDw_BhgakClYq_-mB_wCresiG39q6lWTE5_G30wRXt1ebjfDUSJ5r6dk4QqDW_cakkOIXir9Bx07UmWwGpb8Jo_Jv-DwtJlM/s320/frankenfish.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511998323463353074" border="0" /></a><br />One of the earlier Syfy Channel creature flicks, back when it was known as the <span style="font-style: italic;">Sci-Fi</span> Channel as though these things matter, this was surprisingly...well, awesome. Genetically altered (you'll find that a lot in this genre) fish get loose in the bayou causing all sorts of ill-mannered shenanigans.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikY8PBKwVXkUVasDprb8KQg2sCSi4licMO7sGMnUAJIGAthgJq_mGlVuulvUmsnWEuMmQGyDe534ZutmjAoDqo_-jCy5ROS3TvbdPEYs4OEtt1iqyTeJA7AT0_dFkRWUq-EOUxPc5DhEG4/s1600/frankenfish21.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikY8PBKwVXkUVasDprb8KQg2sCSi4licMO7sGMnUAJIGAthgJq_mGlVuulvUmsnWEuMmQGyDe534ZutmjAoDqo_-jCy5ROS3TvbdPEYs4OEtt1iqyTeJA7AT0_dFkRWUq-EOUxPc5DhEG4/s320/frankenfish21.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512001990921916674" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The frankenfish themselves look great, for a Syfy Channel movie, and they're used throughout the movie which is fine. There's nothing worse than a B-movie saving it's monster for the very end, especially when there's no way it would ever come across as scary. And these fish aren't fucking around, either. They tear people in half with a ferocity matched only with the recent <span style="font-style: italic;">Piranha</span> movie, including one glorious fly-by-night decapitation scene.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyBEf_Tm37QVilYMZd4e23_D-SN6gATn4jN4SyW6Ysb-mZo9F2_ldBCWnWWybNMe6Jypcs5GEjeLr8TRY_FPgysVUZhqEUC18n43O5xg1TrkgI6FH9hlHx-FvKwrEJxVKRoVukcTdEs3xx/s1600/frankenfish1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyBEf_Tm37QVilYMZd4e23_D-SN6gATn4jN4SyW6Ysb-mZo9F2_ldBCWnWWybNMe6Jypcs5GEjeLr8TRY_FPgysVUZhqEUC18n43O5xg1TrkgI6FH9hlHx-FvKwrEJxVKRoVukcTdEs3xx/s320/frankenfish1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512004198934291106" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The movie's fast paced and funny, never feeling dull at stretches like other Syfy films, with even its title acknowledging what kind of movie it is. The last third of the movie is a direct take-off of the ending of <span style="font-style: italic;">Tremors</span>, substituting the earth for water, which could be why it's so damn enjoyable. If you're willing to give yourself over to a movie entitled <span style="font-style: italic;">Frankenfish</span>, you'll find it worth your while.<br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/RrKTLEPeO38?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/RrKTLEPeO38?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >7.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEjFRRFCgoJe8FkAaT1sj0h1VTEqyuk8LmWrEEJbMEkVsKHLGSWLFVwNnamz1dBtDrgYpt8PGlBwfnhM2STSKMCHSrIJWw3h7jXxyo85PMLuhBUbJg0AhEb4MkkgR9C6pRotjkr8wjzk8R/s1600/black_scorpion_poster_01.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 206px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEjFRRFCgoJe8FkAaT1sj0h1VTEqyuk8LmWrEEJbMEkVsKHLGSWLFVwNnamz1dBtDrgYpt8PGlBwfnhM2STSKMCHSrIJWw3h7jXxyo85PMLuhBUbJg0AhEb4MkkgR9C6pRotjkr8wjzk8R/s320/black_scorpion_poster_01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512009190266967746" border="0" /></a><br />If you've seen any of the mutant animal movies from the 50's before then you'll be able to guess all of the twists in this one, even more so if you've seen <span style="font-style: italic;">Them</span> as this rips off as much as it can from that film before it can be called plagiarism.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4AdAXpr7FaPr9ztG2yBzKkq0Y3oBjiNl1OY7XPskG6oZJWvsh7Sp9ibBOZ69esg4AR1iSglbZAaRuUVDsbt2qPdjSZOxGyw0BfDgw7Zvbanx_LTO8Y4e7VdfMjD9T9mbGPWw0GyfLWens/s1600/500px-Blackscorpion22.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 239px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4AdAXpr7FaPr9ztG2yBzKkq0Y3oBjiNl1OY7XPskG6oZJWvsh7Sp9ibBOZ69esg4AR1iSglbZAaRuUVDsbt2qPdjSZOxGyw0BfDgw7Zvbanx_LTO8Y4e7VdfMjD9T9mbGPWw0GyfLWens/s320/500px-Blackscorpion22.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512012832490741106" border="0" /></a><br /><br />The reason I place this over so many others is simply because there's some great setpieces, especially if you were raised as a stop-motion nerd like me. Willis O'Brien does most of the effects here and they're enthralling to watch, even if it's not as polished as some of Harryhausen's work. The scorpions attack a train, battle Willis's leftovers from the aborted spider pit sequence from <span style="font-style: italic;">King Kong</span>, and then the big mad mutha Black Scorpion attacks Mexico City while in the mood for a soccer match, all of which makes me feel like a kid every time I see it.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha4STi-5zKuve0pZiA_ADLj1fDzk-BkLSyjV_OJxHHvSluIGKuxCOGlV5a2fSce47Ij0HaviFNanpiVzwM0VvB5JXWF-aIDldjea-_PGluFjarIgzzPTmRGH86KjyFjMMtalsgD071tQo0/s1600/tbs9.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 222px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha4STi-5zKuve0pZiA_ADLj1fDzk-BkLSyjV_OJxHHvSluIGKuxCOGlV5a2fSce47Ij0HaviFNanpiVzwM0VvB5JXWF-aIDldjea-_PGluFjarIgzzPTmRGH86KjyFjMMtalsgD071tQo0/s320/tbs9.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512015131914338722" border="0" /></a><br /><br />It isn't the greatest of films, but for sheer entertainment, it does its job. The scorpion scenes are as fun as the sequences in <span style="font-style: italic;">King Kong</span>, even if you end up wishing for more of them and less of the square jaws standing around and yammering.<br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vfKakOgshxw?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vfKakOgshxw?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >6.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2xvcW-QJUj6Y1wnzEkMZEI6G7ILPBa0CpK3o4M2j2bSjarsGrgT9MB8hBP67pcwt2rpvwuY4ylVYwjWq-hm6M6TVnyDdn9CFgZjDR9AX_nqrQf3AGIRAkUr8yzfewXnhimzc4IwQYOuxM/s1600/night-of-the-lepus.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 229px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2xvcW-QJUj6Y1wnzEkMZEI6G7ILPBa0CpK3o4M2j2bSjarsGrgT9MB8hBP67pcwt2rpvwuY4ylVYwjWq-hm6M6TVnyDdn9CFgZjDR9AX_nqrQf3AGIRAkUr8yzfewXnhimzc4IwQYOuxM/s320/night-of-the-lepus.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512018845281988786" /></a><br />If you haven't actually seen this yet, you might have at least heard of it. I implore you, if you've been putting it off, go out and find it because it has to be seen to be believed. It's a concept that I find just a little more ludicrous than <span style="font-style:italic;">Slugs</span>. In case you don't know what the aforementioned "lepus" is, we're dealing with big, giant, man-hungry, blood-thirsty, mutant, killer....RABBITS! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH-<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzVtRHT4mJb6yxanB0o0-JxJ255jSQU_Mi-FZpw1RTRi13iOJSVs0NnmatzEsDliPH7Qlid7MXwpknRTESOtPOCdvRYkQL5d8ELQBPtAGxqtfku29KhoaKKiniMKnx8D-zE-a-L7_UDJns/s1600/Night-of-the-Lepus-Janet-Leigh-Stewart-Whitma_imagelarge.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzVtRHT4mJb6yxanB0o0-JxJ255jSQU_Mi-FZpw1RTRi13iOJSVs0NnmatzEsDliPH7Qlid7MXwpknRTESOtPOCdvRYkQL5d8ELQBPtAGxqtfku29KhoaKKiniMKnx8D-zE-a-L7_UDJns/s320/Night-of-the-Lepus-Janet-Leigh-Stewart-Whitma_imagelarge.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512020670681589090" /></a><br /><br />-HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! One morning when I was about 7 or so, my dad was regaling us at the breakfast table of a movie he had seen the night before where-in giant bunnies would proceed to jump on top of people and proceed to slap the shit out of them over and over. I knew immediately I had to see this. Fortunately, TBS, prior to becoming the reviled "superstation" as it goes by now, had its own fascination with the film and played it at least once a week. You just had to find the right timing and one day, I got lucky, and the image of murderous, roaring jackrabbits running rampant over Main Street were forever burned into my head.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9nhkOmAgfq9LZNWb-TpHBsoIKTfYL4-t0kR8sVdFi5AHLebldBYuXAh1BPmiOEcF6sOiEiJ0chTaU8Pthyphenhypheno_rULlnwnQuqPxxnzy-59vC_6RY3Dr8E888J9k0YHdlwMIx1sOOM6bUhvei/s1600/nightlepus6.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 160px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9nhkOmAgfq9LZNWb-TpHBsoIKTfYL4-t0kR8sVdFi5AHLebldBYuXAh1BPmiOEcF6sOiEiJ0chTaU8Pthyphenhypheno_rULlnwnQuqPxxnzy-59vC_6RY3Dr8E888J9k0YHdlwMIx1sOOM6bUhvei/s320/nightlepus6.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5512024504554426962" /></a><br /><br />If you ever wanted to see Dr. McCoy scowl constantly for an hour and a half or scenes of what are supposed to be ominous rabbits who are really just sitting there patiently, then you need this movie. I can't imagine how anyone would willingly pour money into something like this. It's become almost legendary as a bad movie joke but I don't think very many people have actually sat down and watched it. You don't want to be one of those people, do you? You won't be disappointed. Movies like this are the meaning of life.<br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_yww2x3bm9k?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_yww2x3bm9k?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />That's the end of this part, which probably has the more outlandish of the ten films. The top half are definitely more quality than these, even if they don't have the same level of absurdity. So if you aren't a fan of crazy premises you might enjoy the next five more. Hope to see you soon.Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-85178425076325380762010-08-31T17:10:00.000-07:002010-08-31T20:44:58.625-07:00Disc News: Image Shakes Hands with the Devil<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/site_furniture/2007/06/25/adaptation460.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 460px; height: 300px;" src="http://image.guardian.co.uk/sys-images/Arts/Arts_/site_furniture/2007/06/25/adaptation460.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />According to <a href="http://www.homemediamagazine.com/studios/image-partners-with-sony-pictures-home-entertainment-20439">Home Media Magazine</a>, Image Entertainment, which had a hell of a time climbing back from near bankruptcy, has signed a deal to distribute DVDs and Blu-rays for Sony as well as getting the rights to produce their own discs for certain Sony titles. Some of the titles named are <span style="font-style: italic;">Absence of Malice</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">And Justice For All</span>, and, most interestingly, Spike Jonze's <span style="font-style: italic;">Adaptation</span> for at least a Blu-ray release if not an actual special edition. It seems odd that Sony wouldn't want to bother with a well respected, Oscar-winning title that has a cult following among film freaks. If there's not a market for that, I don't know what the hell would be. But then again, I credit Sony with the majority of the blame of dumbing down and generalizing movies down to the lowest common denominator in the name of appealing to the "general" audience in the last five years, where movies exist solely to push their own proprietorially owned technology. How else do you explain <span style="font-style: italic;">Legion</span>?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiwJKfPivp1HqOhk8qvXAzuZLaulrgMSy55EzNU25ZvnglVAnyD_0zRisms9Do_ZJkJqv0VPmfvuwXgc5a_olbFCYekfKMLX4n7k4noGnd1vDoFIPnj9rOqr535El5PyQ_IZn5qOSqA49-/s1600/Blu.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiwJKfPivp1HqOhk8qvXAzuZLaulrgMSy55EzNU25ZvnglVAnyD_0zRisms9Do_ZJkJqv0VPmfvuwXgc5a_olbFCYekfKMLX4n7k4noGnd1vDoFIPnj9rOqr535El5PyQ_IZn5qOSqA49-/s320/Blu.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511730350523441010" /></a><br /><br />The fun thing is matching up Image's prior release trends with what could come from this relationship. Image was well known at the onset of DVD for releasing cult and horror titles, such as the first release of <span style="font-style: italic;">The Evil Dead</span> before Anchor Bay grabbed it. Coupled with that, Image also handles The Criterion Collection's releases. Sony, through their Columbia and Tristar libraries, has a tremendous back catalog that the current regime is unwilling to mine for fear of bad sales. As demonstrated by other repertory companies such as Shout Factory, a smaller company can effectively work out the titles fans are clamoring for, but wouldn't exactly sell to the Wal-Mart crowd. There's an endless amount of possible titles that could come from this agreement, but of course we can only wait and see. If nothing else, hopefully some titles will be getting the Blu-ray treatment that would otherwise of been overlooked. A bright spot in the otherwise continually depressing DVD/Blu newsfront.<br /><br />A few hopeful DVD titles, all of which were said to be owned by Sony back in 2005 in posts at <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.horrordvds.com">Horror DVDS</a>:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEalzY2y_bc7J6LxufolvkFyUgppB5XM5ZkpxpYb0zOs9j70KYAcOdPacbi9rKiLw9JYKfIP2MwvNn6u3gkFa4VpIVrJDApCk5RzGwyf-EsBetOQwjcMdbldWYuIDb7M74jgITezNNmXH1/s1600/ghost+town+starmaker+vhs+front.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 171px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEalzY2y_bc7J6LxufolvkFyUgppB5XM5ZkpxpYb0zOs9j70KYAcOdPacbi9rKiLw9JYKfIP2MwvNn6u3gkFa4VpIVrJDApCk5RzGwyf-EsBetOQwjcMdbldWYuIDb7M74jgITezNNmXH1/s320/ghost+town+starmaker+vhs+front.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511785742248724658" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b300/spacemonkey_fg/cheez16.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 313px; height: 590px;" src="http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b300/spacemonkey_fg/cheez16.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTz8LANoa_R0-TT1gMzNVhygAhNXgVyTixy5UmZWrxnYKgxLPICHCGOGc74TPDkFYUcV_GLv90yRmwEMmMJ2XTHK2HmepQqxvJrJoFiEbrU1zn3kB4vtH3dx-mDyymnVx75Lruc8AajiFr/s1600/spookies.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 244px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTz8LANoa_R0-TT1gMzNVhygAhNXgVyTixy5UmZWrxnYKgxLPICHCGOGc74TPDkFYUcV_GLv90yRmwEMmMJ2XTHK2HmepQqxvJrJoFiEbrU1zn3kB4vtH3dx-mDyymnVx75Lruc8AajiFr/s320/spookies.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5511785931682185890" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/833-1.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 420px; height: 756px;" src="http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/833-1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-31483080116586263042010-08-31T11:42:00.000-07:002010-08-31T11:43:11.603-07:00Road to 500: The SpawningAnother update on this mega-challenge I placed upon myself, this time brought to you on behalf of my Art History class that gives me a giant chunk of time to write each week. Sometime in the next day or so, be on the lookout for some of the new features I'll be bringing to the blog. It's time this became a serious, well-rounded blog that should hold a lot more interest for visitors. And please, if you have any comments or suggestions for me feel free to leave them in the comments section. I'm committed to making this a more entertaining and respectable looking blog so any criticisms will help me out as I go about getting this thing going, bit by bit.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">54. A Real Friend</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dcrw66/covervq0.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 212px; height: 300px;" src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dcrw66/covervq0.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Another film from Spain's <span style="font-style:italic;">Films to Keep You Awake</span>, though this one goes for the opposite approach as I found myself nodding off more than a few times. A lonely girl obsessed with horror movies begins to become best friends with Spanish versions of Leatherface and Nosferatu which comes in handy when a real life monster comes to call. The movie drags too much to keep any real interest. Even at 70 minutes, it feels too long, and having the story be as muddled as it is doesn't help things. I know the filmmakers were trying to be clever in their little plot twists, but some clarification on a few things wouldn't have killed anyone. The ending picks up a little but by then it's too late to really care. The least interesting of the series.<br />Sights within:<br />-Leatherface trademark abuse.<br />-World's best Nosferatu makeup, sadly.<br />-Eww, a game of naked robber.<br />-Best performance by a school counselor.<br />-So was the mom a hooker or what? Guess it doesn't matter after that twist, though.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D+</span><br />(<span style="font-style:italic;">Getting tired of this one yet?)</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/doTD0AmfHok?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/doTD0AmfHok?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">55. A Christmas Tale</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dcrw66/008rcx00.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 378px; height: 542px;" src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dcrw66/008rcx00.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />One of the highlights from the <span style="font-style:italic;">Six Films to Keep You Awake</span>, this was directed by the co-director of <span style="font-style:italic;">Rec</span>, so I had higher hopes for this one and I'm glad it paid off. A group of kids find a bank robber dressed as Santa stuck in a hole in the ground. Instead of helping her out, they blackmail her to get the money which doesn't exactly place them in her good graces. This one is steeped in '80's fanboy nostalgia. It's interesting to see that if this was filmed by an American, the opening fake movie would be some slasher homage; but with a Spanish filmmaker, it's an homage to films like those of Paul Naschy as they were more likely to grow up watching those instead. The kids feel authentic and each one has a great personality that stands out above your typical child role. There's a sense of humor that comes straight from the classic films of the '80's, like <span style="font-style:italic;"> The Monster Squad</span>, and seems to achieve it so effortlessly while other filmmakers are still trying to ripoff that tone. The ending occurs in an abandoned amusement park and lends a whole new character to the movie. There's just so much <span style="font-style:italic;">right</span> in this movie that I didn't want it to end and is probably the best of this whole series. It's like catching an overlooked film from my childhood and makes buying the set worth it all by itself.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most ragged Santa impersonation.<br />-<span style="font-style:italic;">Karate Kid</span> worship.<br />-Tab abuse.<br />-World's most pain in the ass way to kill a zombie.<br />-Look, it's the Spanish Andrew Dice Clay.<br />-Best performance by a Santa Claus costume.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">A-</span><br />(<span style="font-style:italic;">I'm not posting the same damn trailer again since I'm sure you got the point and there's no other videos for these online that I can find, so you're off the hook</span>.)<br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">56. Kidnapped</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.odditycinema.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/kidnapped.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 582px;" src="http://www.odditycinema.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/kidnapped.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />With the traditional Gothic horror film losing audience interest, Mario Bava took an uncharacteristic into the more dirty exploitative horror films that were popular at the time. This really doesn't fit in with his other films at all but it still holds up as a better example of the genre than others. A pack of fucked up criminals take a woman hostage as well as commandeering a man and his sick son as a chauffeur until they reach their escape route. Hilarity ensues. This film is filthy. Every frame is dirty and sweaty, which means it probably wasn't a good idea to watch on a sweltering night. By the time it was over, I felt like I needed a shower. One character in particular was so hairy and nasty looking, I started wishing we weren't watching it on the big screen plasma. I couldn't take looking at him anymore. While the film doesn't allow for Bava's trademark lighting and camerawork, it still retains his tight storytelling. The film is tense throughout most of its running time with every one of the characters stuck in the same car together for almost the whole time. It doesn't cut away to some news report or a cop on their tail, it's just the sickos and their victim bottled up like canned sardines. These types are films aren't really made anymore, and I can't say I'm not glad. They reveled in their nastiness and aren't typically <span style="font-style:italic;">fun</span> to watch. They're interesting to watch every now and then but they're nothing that you feel like watching too often. I will say that this is one of the better films in the sub-genre. The only time it really stumbles is when it feels compelled to ripoff Craven's <span style="font-style:italic;">Last House on the Left</span>, a film so odious to me that anything that reminds me of it sets me back. It's probably the lesser of Bava's catalog, but still worth watching at least once.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's sweatiest Italians.<br />-One mega-switchblade.<br />-Best performance by a comatose child.<br />-When the guy in the red shirt laughs, I feel like crying.<br />-It takes like thirty minutes of the film's running time for that guy to finally die.<br />-Piss abuse.<br />-One mean twist ending.<br />-There's actually another version on the disc entitled <span style="font-style:italic;">Rabid Dogs</span> with footage shot by Bava's son, Lamberto, but I didn't watch that one yet. I'll probably do a separate write-up when I do and cite the differences.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/sCKt9LoFDBM?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sCKt9LoFDBM?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">57. The Fog </span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/274942.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 864px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/274942.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Blah. Not only one of the worst of the remakes, but one of the worst films in the last ten years, easily. The story follows the same outline of the original: ghost lepers haunt the town that dismissed them. Where the original was focused on atmosphere (though I will admit right here that I've only seen the last half on TV about eight years ago, I have it on DVD and I'll be finally checking it out properly within the next few months), this one embraces every possible cliche imposed by a studio system. You don't even have to watch the film to know what the hell happens. Tom Welling has all the charisma of a broom and Maggie Grace induces thoughts of suicide. Honestly, the only reason I watched this one for a second time was because I downloaded the Drunken <a href="www.deadpit.com">Dead Pit</a> commentary, which you wouldn't believe what a crass, inebriated ripping of a film can do for its quality. From digs at Welling's sexual orientation to calling out every bullshit shot of the film, it made for a fun time.<br />Sights within:<br />-How dare they set this movie in Oregon.<br />-World's gayest sweater.<br />-Best performance by a green-screen.<br />-Just a complete masturbation of CGI. You'll be sickened by the end.<br />-Seaweed abuse.<br />-So there's random symbols of a scale all over the town and that's supposed to mean something? Maybe there's a Libra that likes graffiti? Ever think of that?<br />-Fog abuse.<br />-CGI abuse.<br />-Token black character abuse.<br />-Leper abuse.<br />-Audience abuse.<br />-Abuse upon the art of storytelling and acting perpetrated by everyone involved.<br />-I feel ashamed that I have a giant cardboard cutout of that poster design hanging on my wall that I got when I worked at Wal-Mart and they were junking the display. That image is really the only worthwhile thing to come out of the film.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">F</span>, <span style="font-style:italic;">Commentary</span>: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Do9bDHGE8EU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Do9bDHGE8EU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">58. Shaun of the Dead</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g315/hos-miester87/shaun-of-the-dead-poster.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 410px; height: 613px;" src="http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g315/hos-miester87/shaun-of-the-dead-poster.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />What can I say about this that others haven't? It's a British comedic take on a zombie infestation that pays homage to George Romero and came at just the right time to help bring zombies to the mainstream and inspiring countless unimaginative ripoffs for the better part of a decade now. When I got my first all-region DVD player, this was the first movie I ordered. It arrived two weeks before the American theatrical release and I was able to watch it probably five times in that week alone. There are times when you watch a movie and you know even as it's still playing, you're watching one of your favorite movies. The comedy is pitch perfect and sets so many jokes up effortlessly the whole time without ever having to dumb it down for the viewer. I caught yet another joke I missed this time out. It's one of the few comedies that genuinely has respect for its audience. At the same time, the zombies are serious business and when things gets dramatic, it hits home without the movie or the actors ever skipping a beat. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost create this generation's comedic tag-team (sorry Harold and Kumar) and you get the impression that the whole movie could have been about these two just playing video games on the couch and it would have been just entertaining. Their reputation, along with Edgar Wright's, were cemented a few years later the equally good <span style="font-style:italic;">Hot Fuzz</span>, and that's without even mentioning the series <span style="font-style:italic;">Spaced</span> which launched them all. One of the few films you can truthfully call a "modern classic."<br />Sights within:<br />-Sade abuse.<br />-I think you can spot those twin zombies about fifteen times in different shots.<br />-Best fanboy moment: Ed's use of "We're coming to get you, Barbara."<br />-World's best use of a cricket bat.<br />-Best performance by a dart.<br />-The matching of the pool cue scene and Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" is genius.<br />-Great nod to Capt. Rhodes's demise.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">A+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GQ0gSbcG1FI?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GQ0gSbcG1FI?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">59. The Cavern</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/the-cavern-large.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 348px; height: 500px;" src="http://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/the-cavern-large.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Okay, so I'll come out and say I love 2005's <span style="font-style:italic;">The Cave</span>. I almost decided to rewatch that instead but decided to do so later so that I could show it to my wife later on, so I decided to throw this on in the hopes that it would be another decent cheap yet fun monster flick. Nope. This movie was released at the same time with almost the same artwork in order to cash in on what would be a flop. Kind of like what The Asylum specializes except it was made by the exact same studio so I'm not sure what the logic there was. A bunch of...what are they called? Cavers? I'll go with that. Cavers go exploring in an undiscovered cave system (yet the entrance is huge and could be seen from a mile away) and are picked off one by one by something. This is what happens when not one aspect of filmmaking comes together. It's inept and worthless. The fact that I actually sat through the whole thing makes me sad, though it was hard. My finger was hovering over the fast-forward button the whole time. Rule #1 of making a movie: People have to see it. The whole thing, even before they get into the cave, is lit like a rhesus monkey was in charge. Not one light feels natural and to top things off, every shot looks like shit was smeared over the lens to make the film appear as a fluorescent grease-stain. Every character whines and grates your nerves until they're parmesan cheese, completely blocking any capacity of empathy one might have. I can tell that while writing it, they knew they had one point over here and another one over there that they had to get to but had no idea how to do so. It rambles, repeating the same shit for roughly 50 minutes, until it's horrid climax. Throughout the movie, you get the impression that the big threat in the cave could at least be a little spooky. When I finally saw what was really killing these twerps, I almost blew my brains out. It goes for the stupidest, most asinine ending to a movie I've seen since <span style="font-style:italic;">The Happening</span>. Hey <span style="font-style:italic;">Cavern</span>, go fuck yourself.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most putrid color scheme.<br />-They willingly wore those tights?<br />-There's not one shot without a horribly visible matte on the screen.<br />-Drill bit abuse.<br />-World's most unwarranted guilt trip.<br />-The thing bothered to knock them out, undress them, and put them in Flintstones clothes?<br />-Best performance by a human on a spit.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">F</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yletMw5FdPU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yletMw5FdPU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">60. Cabin Fever 2</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/538317.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 821px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/538317.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />This movie sat on a shelf for two years before finally being dumped as an advertising tool for the Blu-ray release of the first one. It suffered from last minute reshoots that caused the director to walk away, and I can see why. It picks up right after the original's ending, with the tainted water being bottled and shipped to the local high school just in time for the prom. The movie starts out good and for the first hour continues to pick up steam and I was right along with it, loving it. Then once the shit, or blood more fittingly, hits the fan, the last half hour loses its way and grinds on to a horribly out of place finale. Ti West has said that he was going for a John Waters vibe with the film, and I can see that through most of the movie. The characters are out of whack in the first place and the humor in the film is appropriately deranged and mean spirited. I really appreciated that it went for a different tone than the original rather than just aping it on a much lower budget which also helps it stand apart as its own movie. The disease works much faster in this one, going for the big gross-out every minutes compared to the slower buildup to the gags in the original. Towards the end, it brings in the military in yet another quarantine situation, which is boring enough, but then it jumps away before even that is wrapped satisfactorily. It doesn't even have anything to do with school at all, in fact, the setting for just about the entirety of the movie. Suddenly, it concerns some character we didn't give a shit about in the first place and had already forgotten in a scene that doesn't fit the tone of the rest of the movie. It's a common understanding that a movie is only as good as its ending as that's what leaves the last impression upon the viewer before its over. That's somewhat true as this ending is just frustrating when there's so much more that could have been done. It leaves a sour taste in your mouth when you look back upon it, but I still believe it's worth checking out for the first hour of the movie which is a truly demented good time. <br />Sights within:<br />-World's best bus splattering, that no one seems to think much of.<br />-Giuseppe Andrews, he's just great.<br />-Bathroom B.J.<br />-One bitter janitor.<br />-Prom night dumpster baby abuse.<br />-I knew they were going to play that fucking song from <span style="font-style:italic;">Prom Night</span> six seconds before it began.<br />-Best performance by a leaky dick.<br />-An appearance by Mark Borchardt, who gets to kick some ass.<br />-When you get no budget, just throw in some crude animation.<br />-I really hope Marc Senter gets some real attention soon, instead of piddling the time with stuff like this and the pile of bile that is <span style="font-style:italic;">Wicked Lake</span>. Check out <span style="font-style:italic;">The Lost</span> for the reason why.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-YGGj1X2TwA?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-YGGj1X2TwA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">61. It! The Terror From Beyond Space</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/198456.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 885px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/198456.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Ah, the good ol' days. When you could get away with half-baked science, some rocketship toys, and a guy in a suit and still make it cool. A crew picks up the last survivor of an excursion to Mars, believing him to be the one responsible for the deaths of the rest of his team and dismissing his stories of a monster, of which has also climbed on board. The story's relatively simple and doesn't have a lot to do outside of its setup, but it does a good job of staying taut and knows how to use tension well. It consists of the ship's crew keeping the monster at bay all the while working on new ways to kill it. Every one of the actors spit out their lines in typical 50's fashion, because everyone back in those days were barrel voiced leading men, while the women perform their daily duties of fetching coffee and making sandwiches. How's that for progression? the whole thing has a certain laughable quality but that's what makes these kinds of films fun. The monster design is great and works well for the story, back when actual imagination was utilized for such things, with the style of lighting used for black and white movies helping lend it an authentic air of menace. The movie itself isn't anything you haven't seen before (that is, if you're willing to watch anything over ten years old), but it does its job admirably and has fun doing it. Plus, you can try to count how many things were later stolen for <span style="font-style:italic;">Alien</span>.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most murderous shellfish.<br />-Yeah, using grenades on an airtight spaceship sounds like a great idea.<br />-Air duct abuse.<br />-Grenades and radiation poisoning doesn't bother it, yet a blowtorch scares the shit out of it?<br />-The only movie where a character patiently sits behind a pipe for roughly half the movie.<br />-Best performance by a metal hatch.<br />-Come on! They even blow it out the fucking airlock! How is that not obvious?<br />-The transfer on the Midnite Movies disc was surprisingly crisp.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_bNOFcCnhu4?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_bNOFcCnhu4?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">62. House of the Dead</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/233088.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 738px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/233088.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />This is probably one of the most derided and picked upon films of the last twenty years, and I'll admit it's horrible, but dammit, it's fun to watch. Premise is this: Teens go to island. Island has zombies. German smuggler gives them guns. Teens shoot guns at zombies. The End. I will never argue that it's a bad movie, but I will argue that it doesn't have its merits. The movie is constantly hilarious, from its setup and horrible execution to characters you have no idea who you're supposed to be following or caring about to ridiculous action scenes that have no footing in the real world, you are never left with anything to laugh about. It spends most of the time trying to copy other better movies, with some of them not even being horror films, even though it never tries to copy them <span style="font-style:italic;">well</span>. There seems to be a perception out there that just because it's a bad movie, you shouldn't give it any credit. You'll hear countless people recount what happens in the film all the while laughing. Then they'll go on and say they hate it and they wish Uwe Boll would stop making movies. But what about that laughter it obviously instilled inside? You had to enjoy it on some level to achieve even some kind of laughter but there's not many that are willing to admit to any enjoyment out of this movie just because it's fashionable to hate it. It's an elitist, hypocritical viewpoint that I can't stand. It's a disaster of a film, but it manages to crawl along as pure, moronic entertainment that if you give it a chance, you might just find yourself having a good time.<br />Sights within:<br />-Sega abuse.<br />-That Asian lady in the Liberty outfit is like some horrid anime freak's wish fulfillment come to life.<br />-World's lamest "mega-rave."<br />-I don't care how stupid they are, I doubt anyone would be able to remove their top in the presence of Clint Howard.<br />-Oh, Jurgen Prochnow. What happened?<br />-White zombies can jump.<br />-Look, a bubbling marsh.<br />-I can only imagine cartoons and videogames are the reason every person on the planet knows martial arts and how to wield high-end weapons.<br />-Vancouver, CA abuse.<br />-Best performance by artificial film grain.<br />-The only zombie movie to end with a sword fight. Huh?<br />-Where's the fucking House?<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ek5AZVonwv4?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ek5AZVonwv4?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Movies Watched:</span> 6<br />-A Real Friend<br />-A Christmas Tale<br />-Kidnapped<br />-The Cavern<br />-Cabin Fever 2<br />-It! The Terror From Beyond Space<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">New Movies Bought:</span> 0<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen DVDS:</span> 3208<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen Blu-rays:</span> 65<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen VHS:</span> 120<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen DVD-R'S:</span> 5<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">And their necks crane<br />As they turn to pray for rain</span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-57522500071205657022010-08-24T13:40:00.000-07:002010-08-31T17:39:19.846-07:00Road to 500: The Dream WarriorsStill plugging away on this fool's crusade. I got behind about a week due to family issues, but on the other hand it also means I wasn't able to watch anymore movies so I'm at least catching up on the write-ups, but then again the whole point of this is to actually watch movies. Ah, it's all screwed. There's a few other things I've been working on that also got pushed back, but they should be on here soon along with other things. I plan on using this place as my central output on film related writing as well as tracking as I tackle the Pile of Shame like I have been. I just have to clear up other issues that are cutting into my writing time. Of course, excuses are like assholes, everyone's got them; so I'm just going to shut up about it for now. On to the blathering.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">36.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/436550.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 879px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/436550.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />If you ever wanted to see rich, dumb socialites get what's coming to them, here's your movie. Three girls hook up with four guys for pointless sex and partying. One of the guys whips out one of his new moves and ends up killing one of the girls in the midst of their orgy, creating tension between the two genders. The movie's surprisingly really good despite not having any characters you can bring yourself to like. The film establishes a taut atmosphere once the initial act occurs and maintains it all the way through the end with the stakes being notched bit by bit. The acting is fairly good for most of the characters which helps sell their stubborn decisions. No one really gets away from this one clean and it's kind of refreshing to see when most movies are following your typical template.<br />Sights within:<br />-It's Hair-lip Steve!<br />-...who mumbles every bit of fucking dialog to where I can never understand him.<br />-World's most explicit orgy scene outside of hardcore pornography and <span style="font-style: italic;">Caligula</span>.<br />-Boom! Donkey punch!<br />-Propeller to the head.<br />-Signal flare abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/J6kxswnHn3c?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/J6kxswnHn3c?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">37.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/520477.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 828px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/520477.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Kind of a meditation on the "chicken or the egg" theory, only bloodier. This is a film that tries to twist your brain all around, but does it so effortlessly, you won't even notice at first. It's fairly easy to follow as you watch the film; it's after it's over and you start going over the details and how they lead into each other do you begin to feel all turned around. What starts out as a simple boat cruise turns into a metaphysical merry-go-round that's only vaguely explained by having something to do with the Bermuda Triangle, which I think isn't even mentioned in the movie itself. In fact, maybe the title has nothing to do with the Bermuda Triangle and simply just follows the logic of the triangular shape itself. Whoa. Revelation. One last thing worth mentioning is that the film pretty much lives or dies on Melissa George's character. If she wasn't up to the task of carrying the entire movie, it would fall apart completely and thankfully she steps up just fine.<br />Sights within:<br />-That kid's life has just got to suck.<br />-Melissa George abuse.<br />-World's only scene showcasing dozens and dozens of corpses, all of the same person.<br />-Damn that amnesiac nap, huh?<br />-So if just one of those items she finds in a pile comes from one full round on the boat which is made up of three rounds of the other people and there's like fifty of those things and...ouch.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">A-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/17XqBdCiHOI?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/17XqBdCiHOI?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">38.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/228387.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 854px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/228387.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I watched this once when it first came out and it didn't really leave an impression on me, good or bad. I felt like something breezy so I decided to give it another shot and I still don't have a lot to say. Most of the movie isn't too bad. Just vapid entertainment that sometimes comes across like it's trying too hard but for the most part is at least pretty watchable. But then comes the ending. Wes Craven does <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> know how to end a fucking movie. It's like he gets so exhausted filming the rest of the movie he just says fuck it and starts jumping as many sharks as possible. The only film where his juvenile insanity actually helped a movie was <span style="font-style: italic;">People Under the Stairs</span> and that's only because the whole movie is apeshit in the first place. <span style="font-style: italic;">Scream</span> is probably the only film of his that doesn't completely lose it, but even then it begins to slip into that territory when Billy and Stu start going Three Stooges on each other with the knives. The final scenes in the Hollywood club at the end are just too jokey and self-indulgent for me to accept. And the final confrontation is riddled with horrible acting and punchline violence. What is for the most part a decent time waster turns into a dead dog and it's just a shame.<br />Sights within:<br />-Christina Ricci's bulbous head. It has its own orbital system.<br />-Everyone calls Jesse Eisenberg a Michael Cera clone, but he was doing that schtick before Cera was even on the scene.<br />-World's most comically inappropriate coming out of the closet scene.<br />-I've always hated Craig Kilborn with a passion and I have no idea what anyone anywhere ever saw in him.<br />-A werewolf flipping the bird. One of the most horrible cinematic images burned into my brain.<br />-Shannon Elizabeth torn in half. One of her better performances.<br />-Weredog abuse.<br />-A werewolf movie where not one person turns into a werewolf at any time in its climax. What the fuck?<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">C-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/InOgeffFw70?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/InOgeffFw70?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">39.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.massmovement.co.uk/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/my_name_is_bruce_dvd.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 345px; height: 480px;" src="http://www.massmovement.co.uk/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/my_name_is_bruce_dvd.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />A movie that I think was hyped for way too long by far too many people. It's not a bad movie, but it's not the second coming of Christ either. Most of the film's enjoyment comes from Bruce Campbell's willingness to pick apart what has basically been his bread and butter for the last thirty years or so. It's great to see because blind <span style="font-style: italic;">Evil Dead</span>-loving diehards need to be taken down a bit. They're great films, but the first was the best and they all slipped a little more they longer they went on. Bruce's instant charisma is what's kept him around all these decades and it's what keeps this movie going, as everything else is pretty much amateur hour. The directing and lighting is pretty low budget and is only just a few steps above the films that are used as punchlines within the movie itself. It's fairly entertaining but does get bogged down with too much stupidity at times, and honestly, it would have been a much better movie without the hokey demon plot-line and just focused on Campbell as a B-movie star dealing with the real world. Those are the only scenes when the movie comes alive and whenever it delves into the demon it just feels stagnant.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most offensive portrayal of a Chinese character this side of the '70's.<br />-Chin abuse.<br />-A pretty accurate depiction of what the typical current Hot Topic patron looks like.<br />-Ted Raimi abuse.<br />-Bruce Campbell, a man not above throwing a small child to the ground in order to steal his bicycle and leave him to die by the hands of an ancient Chinese demon.<br />-I recognized the blacksmith from <span style="font-style: italic;">Army of Darkness</span> and Jake from <span style="font-style: italic;">Evil Dead 2</span> a split second before they call attention to the fact. I must be slipping.<br />-"Where the fuck is Goldlick?" Funniest line.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hixhEJbVfVQ?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hixhEJbVfVQ?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">40.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/248298.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 893px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/248298.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />One of those films I had always heard about but never got a chance to actually watch it, despite having seen the sequel roughly 17 years ago. Compared to other similar films of the time, like <span style="font-style: italic;">The Monster Squad</span>, the tone of the film is much more serious and somber, but it is also one of the only child-friendly horror films that could conceivably be scary. A young Deacon Frost's tree-house is uprooted, exposing a gaping hole in the ground. Through a series of events that can only be called "kooky," they learn all about the ancient ritual to summon demons from said hole as well as accidentally performing such a ritual. Demons ensue. It's a fun movie, but it's a calculated movie, taking its time to actually set up scenes effectively and never degenerates into goofy comedy. The monster scenes are played straight with simply awesome stop-motion effects bringing them to life, both elements contributing to why I think the movie still holds up. Stephen Dorff shows that he was a pretty good actor even as a child and I'm glad he's starting to get notice again. Meanwhile, Louis Tripp looks like the type of kid to collect skulls from the neighborhood cats and his character seems like he's not far off from it. I really wish I had been able to catch this growing up because I think I would have enjoyed it even more and could see my friends and I getting scared by it late at night.<br />Sights within:<br />-Whoops. Sorry I parked my dead dog in that sacrificial chamber.<br />-Playing heavy metal backwards, the scourge of parents in the 1980's nationwide.<br />-World's only upright, murderous naked mole rats.<br />-It's a giant salamander with Ewok arms! Run!<br />-Barbie leg abuse.<br />-So one night they float Stephen Dorff across the room into the fucking wall and the next day they don't believe anything MTV doesn't approve of? ADD sets in early.<br />-Soon to be remade by Bill from <span style="font-style: italic;">Bill & Ted's Excellant Adventure</span>!<br />-God, I miss stop-motion.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZOX6-Rw5PWc?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZOX6-Rw5PWc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">41.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/206857.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 855px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/206857.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I saw this in the theater back when it opened but hadn't come back to it since, even though I remember enjoying it. I felt like watching something that required as little thought as possible to enjoy and this seemed to fit the bill. It's a giant homage to '50's bug flicks, which is always right up my alley, and feels like a true light-hearted throwback to those days. It's corny, goofy, and derpy but I think it all fits together just right. The main problem is they could have at least tried something new with the story rather than relying on the exact same story beats that so many other similar movies have used. Hell, Syfy uses the exact same script every week, only changing the type of creature and setting. You predict everything before it happens. Still, it's hard to flat-out hate on the movie, and those that do are probably just doing it because they feel like they're expected to. David Arquette is enjoyable but probably would have played a little better if he wasn't so consciously restraining himself. Doug E. Doug (wow, what the hell happened to that guy) does get annoying after so long but the rest of the movie is still worth watching just to see the campy CGI rampage.<br />Sights within:<br />-Spider abuse.<br />-World's most unwarranted obsession with anal probes.<br />-What was once the greatest assault on extreme sports dipshits by arachnids which was eventually topped by the work of genius that is <span style="font-style: italic;">Ice Spiders</span>.<br />-Betcha Scarlett Johansson is leaving this one off her resume. Meanwhile, Arquette's putting it right after <span style="font-style: italic;">Scream</span>. It's funny seeing people's different world views.<br />-Probably the last fucking time Kari Wurher will be seen on the silver screen.<br />-Giant spiders apparently make the exact same noises Gremlins make.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/C1WhVnLahvM?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/C1WhVnLahvM?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">42.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/205292.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 863px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/205292.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Back when I saw this in the theater, I had no idea this would be starting a new generation's main horror franchise. Yeah, the <span style="font-style: italic;">Saw</span> series made more money overall, but this series is looked upon a lot more fondly and for good reason as 3 out of the 4 are pretty damn good movies. Somehow, out of the last decade where "recycle and reuse" has become a mantra for the entire genre, a series of films that took a novel approach (well, almost, <span style="font-style: italic;">Sole Survivor</span> says hello) where the killer is never seen, almost the defining characteristic for a slasher movie, and inserted a supernatural presence into the dead-teenager genre and thrived while the rest of the horror field was chewed up, abused, and spit out. This one still holds up as being the best written and has the most fleshed out story. It takes just enough time to know the characters before the initial event so that the rest of the movie actually matters, making the unpredictable kill scenes mean just that little bit more. A rare highlight from the current age of Hollywood horror.<br />Sights within:<br />-Play the game of "Guess What Director the Character Was Named After," or "G.W.D.C.W.N.A" for short.<br />-Stifler abuse.<br />-World's most unexpected appearance by a bus.<br />-One of Tony Todd's last relevant appearances before becoming another pawn in Lionsgate's straight to video game.<br />-Be very thankful the ending was changed from what's in the bonus features on the dvd.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">A-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/O9C5T5pdexY?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/O9C5T5pdexY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">43.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/213080.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 856px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/213080.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />A rare sequel that lives up to the original, to the point that one can actually sit down and debate which one is better. I think I give the original the edge just because this one's more shallow on its characters which I find more important than the vicious kill scenes which easily outdo the first one. When I saw this in the bargain theater, the highway scene had me by throat and is easily one of the most horrifying car crash sequence in a film. When it was over I found myself actually breathing hard, something that doesn't happen very often when watching a movie. The individual kill scenes felt much more sadistic than anything found in the first one, almost as if it was taking as much pleasure in the deaths as we were. It's not a very deep movie, but it's just so damn fun to watch.<br />Sights within:<br />-Has there been a more fitting use of a song than "Highway to Hell" in this?<br />-Fucking spaghetti.<br />-World's worst trip to the dentist.<br />-Death by fencing.<br />-Barbecue abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/M9ZX8fxYo1I?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/M9ZX8fxYo1I?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">44.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/316060.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 862px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/316060.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />This one actually holds up better than I thought it would. At this point, they have the formula down and they don't seem intent on changing it up very much, but it was nice that they still put in the effort to have some kind of fully rounded characters and let them come to their own conclusions naturally, unlike another film in the same series. The roller coaster scene doesn't have the same impact as the other two and feels like it could have had some more bite than what they wanted to put in to the movie. The only real new thing added is a different way to predict the deaths by photographs, something that includes the audience in guessing what will happen next and helps keep interest. They didn't seem to have anything to add to the mythos which is probably why the initial ending feels like a letdown at first as it mainly treads through stuff we've already known, but the final scene of the movie makes up for it in spades. Not as good as the first two, but still a worthy contender.<br />Sights within:<br />-At least Tony Todd appears somewhere in the damn movie.<br />-Tanning bed abuse.<br />-The first time I watched this, it took me until three days later to realize that guy was from <span style="font-style: italic;">Ginger Snaps</span>.<br />-World's most unexpected scene involving an engine.<br />-Nail gun massacre.<br />-Yeah, but subway's are always a bitch.<br />-The DVD has a feature that plays like those old <span style="font-style: italic;">Choose Your Own Adventure</span> books where you can change the outcomes of some character's deaths, though I still haven't futzed with it yet.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/YyYGmC3pmm8?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/YyYGmC3pmm8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">45.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/491370.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 860px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/491370.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />By now, they're simply going through the motions required to get their coin. It starts out with the main disaster scene but doesn't bother with any effort spent trying to set it up and maybe provide some sort of characters to enjoy. It serves up what most people came for, messy and outrageous deaths, cold and bitter almost as though the movie felt resentful for what it was created for. You want someone squished? HERE! ENJOY! The whole sequence feels lazy and uninspired, and it doesn't get any better from there. The characters are so generic it feels like you're watching cardboard cutouts float across the screen, save for two instances where the security guard spits out chunks of characterization that feels completely out of place in a film as vapid as this. The premonition scenes are asinine CGI blurps spit out from 1997 which foretell the mostly boring death scenes. The only bit that was kind of impressive was the escalator scene but even that was pretty worthless in the context of the story. Not once in the entire movie do you get the impression that anyone anywhere put forth some sort of effort in it.<br />Sights within:<br />-Deaths by chunk of cement. That's how imaginative things get here.<br />-I was really looking forward to seeing rednecks crushed and burned at a NASCAR disaster and got nothing. Not one flaming mullet anywhere.<br />-World's most inopportune time to lay out a sob story masquerading as characterization.<br />-Death by being slowly dragged and somehow catching fire. Laziest death in the whole franchise.<br />-They try to copy the bus hit from the first one and fail miserably.<br />-Butt-suck.<br />-Escalator abuse.<br />-It's sad when the opening and closing credits are the only things worth seeing in the entire movie.<br />-If you watch the Blu-ray in 3-D, you're going to see the world with a blue and pink tint for the better part of the day after you take off the glasses.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">D+</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/forYL6ri2e0?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/forYL6ri2e0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">46.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/414366.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 820px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/414366.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />This was the first time I watched this since the theater and it still holds up fairly well. For a movie that for the most part takes place in one room with one character, John Cusack has the unenviable task of carrying the entire movie on his shoulders and aptly does so. His brings a dejected and cynical sensibility to the movie and manages to make even what would be even the dull sequences funny and entertaining. Samuel Jackson is great in what's not more than a glorified cameo which is a same since there's great chemistry when both Cusack and him are on screen together. Outside of a few effective jump-scares, the movie's not really scary per se, but it does manage to remain compelling throughout which is a testament to the writing and directing considering it takes place in one small room. The only misstep the film takes is even more annoying on a second viewing, though. It tries to take a switcheroo chronologically, which I hate those kind of cheap fake-outs in any film, and manages to stop the movie dead in its tracks when it had been doing a great job of going full steam ahead. Any momentum is lost and I could almost physically feel myself losing interest. Once it comes back it ends on a high note but I can only imagine how much better it would have been without the previous five minutes or so. Other than that, I'd say this is one of the better ghost stories in recent years.<br />Sights within:<br />-"It's an evil fucking room."<br />-Mini-fridge abuse.<br />-The ol' old-guy-in-a-vent gag.<br />-World's most sinister pillow mints.<br />-The second movie of this challenge Stephen King-based story with a guy on a ledge.<br />-The theatrical ending is the one to go with. The others all feel even more predictable.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">B</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kokIHR06kIg?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kokIHR06kIg?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">47.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dcrw66/HorrorAnthologyVol2-Spectre.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 567px;" src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dcrw66/HorrorAnthologyVol2-Spectre.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Another of the Spanish <span style="font-style: italic;">6 Films to Keep You Awake</span>, this one comes across not so much scary as bittersweet. It reminded me more of the Stephen King stories that would leave you with more of a sad yet warm feeling rather than trying to frighten you. A old man returns to where he met his first love as a teenager and faces the consequences of what he caused long ago. The beginning takes a while to get going but the story becomes more interesting as you watch more of the characters. There are a few jump-scares throughout but it's more concerned with the depressing atmosphere teetering on the edges of the story and relies on what you have invested for the finale's payoff to work. It's a simple tale, but the patience utilized by both the filmmakers and the viewer make it worth it.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most asshole friends.<br />-Religion. It's a bitch.<br />-This guy gets possessive rather quick, don't you think?<br />-Timeline abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/doTD0AmfHok?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/doTD0AmfHok?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">48.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/537817.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 1015px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/537817.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Considering I have nothing but spite for the director, this movie came out better than I thought it would. It's still nothing but a hodgepodge of other recent, better movies, but it's still competently made with a few great set pieces. A town's water supply gets corrupted and makes everyone go...crazy. Hence the name. I haven't seen Romero's original yet (despite owning it for about three years now) so I can't tell you which one's better and I can't really even guess. This one suffers a bit much from the "me-too"'s and from what I hear of the original, it's not one of Romero's better efforts. This one starts out really interesting with the small town becoming infected, but when the government gets involved, it loses a lot of focus and begins to feel too cliche. Involving government or police interference just seems like a lazy way to bring forth conflict in storytelling and I really haven't seen anything new done with it in decades and the same goes for this one. Yes, they're bad and they're everywhere. We get it. We got it years ago. The movie even seems to forget about the actual crazies for long stretches and instead showcases the army as the real villains, which maybe they were going for some kind of allegory but guess what? It's been done. After a while, it feels like the movie's just looking for shit to do, hopping from one idea to the next. There's a couple of well made confrontations before a ludicrous ending brings it back down a peg. There's a lot of potential here but it gets lost in a sea of cliches. If it had strived for something new, it could have been a new classic.<br />Sights within:<br />-When Bill Paxton's unavailable, you call in Timothy Olyphant.<br />-Somebody's poisoned the waterhole!<br />-World's most abundant jump-scares, averaging out to about one every three minutes.<br />-Down at the car wash, yeah!<br />-Bonesaw abuse.<br />-Even while suffering mental deterioration, rednecks will hunt.<br />-World's most tense moments involving a pitchfork.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lEMZwQulT1Q?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/lEMZwQulT1Q?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">49.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/190492.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 911px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/190492.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Yeah, we're just gonna move past the director's personal life and try to focus on the movie itself, alright? A brother and sister are traveling home when they're marked by something that hunts the backroads. I've always really liked this movie, probably stemming from my habits of going for walks in the middle of the nowhere at 3 in the morning. When you're all alone in that situation, any shadow, any turn in the road, can be hiding something you can't even imagine. It's the closest I've come to in my life where I feel as though there's something out there, evil or not. This is the only film that comes close to capturing that feeling for me in a movie. No other film has caught that subtle feeling of being in the woods at night such as the scene that takes place on the cat lady's yard. Some elements come across as silly (that psychic lady comes straight from Exposition'R'Us) but I still find the movie fairly frightening, with the dark streak of humor coming at just the right time. The movie's shot incredibly well and is another example of how having patience lends so much to a horror movie. Salva uses foreground and background elements to great effect, such as the Creeper's truck riding up to blare its horn at just the right second. The creature design is probably one of the only truly imaginative designs in the last few decades. It was instantly iconic to me and still makes me wish monster movies would come back en vogue as I think there's some wonderful things waiting to happen.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most psychotic horn.<br />-Wall o' bodies.<br />-Siouxsie & the Banshees abuse.<br />-Slippin' some tongue.<br />-Crazy cat ladies are real!<br />-It's nice seeing the cops actually seeing this thing and fighting it versus the disbelieving dolts of most movies.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/s7uiQdfppCA?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/s7uiQdfppCA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">50.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/369623.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 859px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/369623.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Two words: Ray Wise. He rocks like nobody's business. The rest of the movie isn't as good as I remembered it being, but Ray Wise makes it all worth it. The opening scene is great as it sets it up for the Creeper's final days of feeding before hibernation. Unfortunately, after the opening corn field scene, we get stuck with a bus load of dumbasses as their bus breaks down and become fodder for the Creeper. There is not one character on that bus worth a shit and any bit of dialog from their mouths just makes you want to cringe. There's all the stock archetypes that the first one managed to avoid so well, which is the only way you can even somewhat tell them apart. It's novel idea, but I don't think much time was spent on the writing after the initial ripping-off-Hitchcock's-<span style="font-style: italic;">Lifeboat</span> concept as the only character that doesn't induce groans is Ray Wise, who brings a sense of class and earnestness with just a touch of humor as he hunts the Creeper. Their showdown around the bus is easily the highlight of the film and feels like it should have been the climax of the film, but it continues on to a pretty lethargic chase scene where the main issue is you still don't know who most of those people are. The film's shot as well as the first, but nothing really stands out like several moments in the original. The Creeper was somewhat redesigned with subtle tweaks to the face and body, but I prefer his original look a bit better. The only other saving grace to the film besides Wise is it retains the sense of humor that shone through the first time out. When the Creeper is marking his targets through the bus window, you can't help but laugh at the glee covering his face. The final scene does a great job of setting up another sequel which I hope we do see, if nothing else but to see more of Wise and the Creeper himself.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's biggest chowder head characters.<br />-The head regeneration bit was just a touch too much.<br />-Wicked Creeper-star.<br />-Really letting loose with the fact that he can fly, huh?<br />-Psychic vision abuse. Some blonde falls asleep and gets visions just for the sake of exposition? Not needed.<br />-Creeper, meet fencepost.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">C</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nzLq1BoLxQc?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nzLq1BoLxQc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">51.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/249118.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 854px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/249118.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />If you had told me that there exists a movie more batshit insane than <span style="font-style: italic;">Spider Baby</span>, I would have called you a bald-faced liar and stolen your wallet. But guess what? It exists and this is it. Some...family (I'm still not sure on the specifics) brings home new "playmates" and tries to incorporate them into the family, with the newest playmate striking a rift between the other family members. It's kind of hard to explain what the hell's going on in this movie as nothing has any sort of rational sense. Every character's out of their fucking mind; from the nanny who sleeps at the foot of the mother's bed like a puppy to the brother and sister that still play Cowboys and Indians even though they're well into their twenties. Every line of dialog is a slice of lunacy delivered like it's gospel and every scene is devoid of any form of sense at all. There is simply no refuge from the fucking craziness of this film. Because of that, it's deliriously entertaining. Once you settle in to the tone of the movie in the first few minutes, you get sucked in by the lunacy and end up laughing the whole way through. The ending's just a little too open-ended, but you'll be in such a state of delirium you won't even care. This is one of film's unheralded gems and is definitely worth tracking down a copy, brought forth from the sister company of Code Red (who can do no wrong), Scorpion Releasing, though apparently I already owned this on VHS.<br />Sights within:<br />-What exactly are "milkies and bickies?"<br />-This is the type of movie Rob Zombie wishes he could make if he had even the slightest bit of class.<br />-World's only toilet puppet.<br />-Castor oil abuse.<br />-Nanny stew.<br />-You can only wonder about the origins of this family, and then realize there isn't a writer that lived that can come up with an appropriate one.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">A</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dLaIk0Om8gA?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dLaIk0Om8gA?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">52.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/227459.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 580px; height: 889px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/227459.1020.A.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />This movie is an exercise in pure suspense from the opening scene. The first time I watched this, I spent most of the time in awe of how it wastes no time on anything other than what's needed for the sake of tension. No extraneous characterization, just enough to get you to care about who you're watching, and no extraneous subplots. It's just Rutger Hauer making life miserable for C. Thomas Howell for its entire running time. There's enough room for the viewer to come up with all kinds of theories about what's going on if they fell like it, or they can just watch it simply as it is and it wouldn't diminish the film either way. By the time it ends, it's captured the feeling of a pronounced fever dream where you can see logic slipping away as Hauer and Howell come together to finish their tale and creates an experience I haven't seen many films able to recapture.<br />Sights within:<br />-If Rutger Hauer's cupping your balls, you're gonna have a bad time.<br />-World's most literal definition of "tractor-pull."<br />-Finger fries.<br />-Police officer abuse.<br />-A helicopter downed by a pistol.<br />-Why does Hauer constantly sweat more than anyone else? Hmmmmm....<br />-Why does Hauer always have bleeding knuckles, alternating from bandages to bare knuckles randomly? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...............<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">A-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Z4-g9V6Rx5Y?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Z4-g9V6Rx5Y?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">53.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.obscurehorror.com/hitcher2.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 450px; height: 650px;" src="http://www.obscurehorror.com/hitcher2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I didn't think a movie could more pointless than <span style="font-style: italic;">The X-Files: I Want to Believe</span>, but apparently I was wrong. C. Thomas Howell returns only to be wasted as the movie turns out to be about Kari Wuhrer being hounded by Jake Busey's teeth. This thing has no reason for existing, and in doing so creates an existential crisis in the viewer. If the movie shouldn't exist, should we, the viewer, exist? If nothing of value is displayed on screen, what are we watching? How can a movie with no story have a beginning, middle, and end? Can something with no beginning even have some sort of end? A movie like this causes you to question the art of storytelling at its most base level. There is nothing resembling a human being in this film nor any sort of logical action or thought. It just exists on its own plane of reality where people can actually buy into all of this bullshit. How? How does a train wreck like this happen? Did someone actually sit down, write this, and step away when all was said and done and felt good about themselves? Stay away. If you value your sanity and your love of film, stay far the fuck away from this.<br />Sights within:<br />-Jake Busey in a wig is a sight straight from Hell itself.<br />-World's most orange film.<br />-The diner scene is one of the most inept and worthless action scenes ever filmed.<br />-C. Thomas Howell abuse.<br />-The original is open-ended in a way to add atmosphere, this one is open-ended so as to oblige lazy writing.<br />-Absurdly funny finger self-mutilation.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight: bold;">F+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iJP8jxdne_A?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iJP8jxdne_A?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Movies Watched:</span> 9<br />-Donkey Punch<br />-Triangle<br />-My Name is Bruce (Blu)<br />-The Gate<br />-The Final Destination (Blu)<br />-Spectre<br />-The Crazies (Blu)<br />-Girly (VHS)<br />-The Hitcher 2<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">New Movies Bought:</span> 0<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen DVDS:</span> 3214<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen Blu-rays:</span> 65<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen VHS:</span> 120<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Unseen DVD-R'S:</span> 5<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Bad blood and ghosts wrapped tight around me </span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-63663675956984029432010-08-14T16:39:00.000-07:002010-08-31T17:37:27.166-07:00Road to 500: Blood WingsStill just plugging away. Not as big of an update as I wanted to have but 90+ degree heat isn't exactly inspiring me at the moment, which is also why one of the features I was going to have up is on the back burner. Check in later in the week and there should be few more new items.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">27.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/414762.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 832px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/414762.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Okay, let's just talk about the quote they have blazing right under the title, shall we? I can assure that not one thing from Mr. Alson from <span style="font-style:italic;">Independent Film Quarterly</span>, whatever the hell that is, says is accurate. First off, there is not one iota of a mystery within this movie. The killer, a guy who looks like he should be due for a mid-life crisis rather than playing a murderer, is shown from frame one. We know who he is from the beginning leaving not much of a mystery. Now, that reference to <span style="font-style:italic;">Silence of the Lambs?</span> Yeah, nothing of the sort. No cannibalism, skin suits, or peek-a-boo with genitalia of any kind. If it's talking about the police investigation, well, it still doesn't mean anything. The investigation plays backseat to Jeffrey Combs, which sadly this is one of the few recent films to actually let him play somewhat of a meaty role even if he is playing it as hungover, and his affair with his deputy, which, you know what? The affair angle is a lot more involving than the shitty serial killer who shows up, stabs someone in poor lighting and we move on. There are attempts at some humor, of which a few bits actually work, but that only helps lend credence that the murder sections of the film are just an afterthought, only existing to sell the movie somehow. The one bright spot is Michael Berryman who is terrific in every scene he's in. It's one of the few roles that shows the warmth and kindness he is said to possess if you were ever to meet him. It's not often you watch one of these and there's a character you truly wish doesn't die. As a horror movie, it's awful, but it is fairly decent for a movie about a couple of small-town cops with a few laces of humor, especially when you consider how low you set your expectations when you see that cover and realize it comes from Lionsgate.<br />Sights within:<br />-The movie seems like it was shot with exactly one light.<br />-World's only potential murder victim killed by Viagra overdose.<br />-It's a shame half of Michael Berryman's scenes are blown out.<br />-Gardening tool abuse.<br />-Obvious fake money.<br />-Berryman and opening the car door was unexpectedly hilarious.<br />-Apparently the whole damn movie is available to watch for free on Youtube if you're so inclined.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C</span> <br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2x-Ctql7FsI?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2x-Ctql7FsI?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">28.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/199842.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 857px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/199842.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I don't know how much I need to go into explanation here as the movie's pretty legendary at this point. Before Peter Jackson was gobbling up hundreds of millions of dollars and pumping out four hour CGI fests, he made the most batshit gore movies produced. The difference between his movies and other gore movies is that you can tell his were made by someone with real talent. There's nothing I hate more than some piece of shit made by someone that knows nothing about filmmaking and thinks they can shove a lot of gore into a movie and it'll automatically be good. The humor and story in this movie is genuine, and it helps that when it does come time for the good old fashioned ultra-violence, he puts thought and creativity into the ways he can kill and dismember people rather than relying on shit he saw on another movie. That's why this movie holds up even now and probably always will.<br />Sights within:<br />-Sumatran rat monkey abuse.<br />-The baby in the park scene is easily one of the most entertaining scenes filmed.<br />-World's most ass-kicking priest.<br />-Custard abuse.<br />-First comes the gnome, then comes the guts.<br />-The broad stuck on a light bulb for twenty minutes really show the attention to detail here.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">A-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Zvt1ZM1_5Ao?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Zvt1ZM1_5Ao?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">29.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/474106.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 431px; height: 580px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/474106.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I remember we had wanted to see this when it was in theaters but parent in charge thought it was illegal for us to see an R rated movie in a theater without a parent like the well informed individual she was. Instead, we had the pleasure of being shuffled into seeing <span style="font-style:italic;">Titanic</span> like every other human being on the planet and I have to wonder how much of this movie's box office was stolen by that bloated blunder fest? I had to wait for it to hit pay-per-view before I finally got to see it, and loved it from then on, always cursing the foul run of luck that caused me to miss that theatrical viewing. Revisiting it now, I think I may have watched it a few too many times, or maybe my patience for horror films where the middle 45 minutes consists of nothing but wandering around hallways has eroded to almost nothing. I still really enjoy the humor and Treat Williams is great at playing smarmy characters. It's just that nothing really happens for the middle of the movie. The CGI is bad, but you kind of expect it coming from this type of movie. To be honest, I'm surprised it even played in theaters. This is the type of movie that the Syfy channel revels in anymore. It's worth a watch as it's still a fun time, just don't go expecting much.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most pissed off squid monster.<br />-Squid vomit.<br />-One of the biggest collections of "hey it's that guy!" actors assembled for one crew.<br />-Kevin J. O'Conner abuse.<br />-Would that gun design even function?<br />-I still want to know what the hell is that on the island.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/r8CYpb7zrjs?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/r8CYpb7zrjs?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">30.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51dxGnHyE0L.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 361px; height: 500px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51dxGnHyE0L.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Another guilty pleasure unleashed from Code Red DVD who I think can do no wrong. Seriously, just buy their shit already. This was a film shot in the early '90's (trust me, you can tell) but sat in a warehouse in Canada for years. This is its first release ever, which while some will be a smartass and make remarks like it should have stayed there, I get pissed off anytime a film is withheld from being available for viewing no matter its quality so I applaud Code Red for releasing it. I'll be honest that this one isn't for everyone and should probably only be approached by those that love not just bad, but fucking <span style="font-style:italic;">horrible</span> movies. It's like if the world's worst joke was a living entity and decided to direct a movie, this is the film that would be wrought upon the world. Fred Tavalena plays no less than three different roles, each just an excuse to parade bad impressions and puns across the screen. 90% of the movie looks like it was shot in the same gym and some of the jokes are so bad you can only sit there, blinking. If that sounds awful to you then this isn't your cup of tea and it's best to move on. However, if that floats your boat, then prepared for one of the greatest horrible movies ever filmed.<br />Sights within:<br />-Credits that look like they were done on Mario Paint.<br />-World's most painful slam dunk.<br />-<span style="font-style:italic;">Everyone</span> is rocking the light blue, '90's style.<br />-Elvis sterotype abuse.<br />-World's worst collection of puns outside of a <span style="font-style:italic;">Tales From the Crypt</span> episode.<br />-Comedy abuse.<br />-A great commentary that has Fred Tavalena shortly before his death and is as funny as any episode of <span style="font-style:italic;">Mystery Science Theater</span>.<br />-Makes you wonder what else may be hiding in a Canadian storage facility somewhere...<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br />(<span style="font-style:italic;">Sorry, I can't find a single video for this online. Guess you'll just have to trust me.)</span><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">31.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://zombiemall.com/ima/saw6.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 550px; height: 815px;" src="http://zombiemall.com/ima/saw6.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Despite everyone else complaining about them, I've always liked the <span style="font-style:italic;">Saw</span> movies. The traps get pretty tedious after a while, but it's the convoluted storyline that keeps bringing me back. I'm a whore for a well maintained mythology for a series, no matter how ludicrous it gets. Probably comes from being a comic book nerd I suppose. Anyways, this one didn't feel as interesting as the last few, probably because it didn't serve to advance the primary story as much and felt more like a stand alone installment, of which I'm sure there's many out there who appreciate that. And in a way, I guess it equals out with the last one as that was primarily about advancing the story with the traps being almost an afterthought. The victims in this one all spring from Jigsaw being pissed at the American health care system, with the twist being pretty easy to call early on if you keep in mind how this series likes to handle its sleight of hand. It's entertaining but still feels like a buildup to something better.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most fucked merry-go-round.<br />-Really? That's all the letter said?<br />-The traps just don't seem like anything special at all this time around.<br />-Retcon abuse.<br />-I'll admit I did not see that scene with Hoffman and the cops analyzing the voice patterns going down like it did.<br />-This series can't keep a protagonist to save it's fucking life.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9Sicuu1m1D8?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9Sicuu1m1D8?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">32.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/405961.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 738px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/405961.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I was well prepared for this movie to be awful, but in that kind of train-wreck-kinda-like-Van-Damme's-<span style="font-style:italic;">Street Fighter</span>-awesome-awful kind of way. I was looking forward to having a good laugh and reveling at unintentional humor. I was completely unprepared for how depressingly bad it was. It was so awful, I couldn't even laugh. It's the kind of bad film-making that makes you want to give it all up and read a book. From the acting to the dialog to anything that even resembles a logical thought, it was all just so <span style="font-style:italic;">horrible</span>. By the time it was over, I actually felt wrecked and on edge just from the anger of what I had just seen. Some film theorists would argue that if a film caused such a reaction than it's a success. To those that would say such a thing, I'm going to punch you in your goddamned eye.<br />Sights within:<br />-Supposedly M Night's main directorial mandate was for the adults to act like children. To him I ask, WHY?<br />-Zooey Deschanel looks like a bug-eyed lemur the whole damn time.<br />-Truly, the world's worst dialog.<br />-Cinema as an art form abuse.<br />-Wahlberg explaining himself to a houseplant. Hell has frozen over.<br />-I swear I felt the need to kill after that exchange about Wahlberg flirting with a drugstore clerk. <br />-I truly did not believe that was the ending. Even now, I have a hard time accepting that the main climax occurs by two people simply opening a fucking door and stepping outside. Whoops. Spoiler. Now you don't have to watch it. Guess you should pay me then, huh?<br />-WHAT'S WITH THE FUCKING HOT DOGS, MAN?!<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">F</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uvmytj56Tck?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uvmytj56Tck?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">33.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/257242.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 862px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/257242.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />A "wow, were they bored or something" sequel that played to a completely different audience than the original with disastrous results. I enjoy it on a bad movie level, probably only because I saw it in a theater when I was 14, but really is pretty bad. The story's preposterous, the characters are stock college movie roles, and the effects are horrible. There's a fair bit of humor that works, but only because the movie's pretty much taken as a joke in the first place. It's enjoyable as something to pass the afternoon with but you'll be craving something with a bit more...bite? Ha!<br />Sights within:<br />-Eiffel Tower abuse.<br />-Just so happens to save the girl, find her in the hospital, and finds out where she lives. Is Paris like four square miles or something?<br />-Werewolves that look like orangutans.<br />-A hearty milkshake.<br />-World's worst werewolf CGI.<br />-It's sad that one of the film's biggest laughs comes from the horrible werewolf amputee kept in the basement. Maybe it's best they went with CGI for the rest of it.<br />-World's worst "Ahhhh!"<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tKncKICpPqs?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tKncKICpPqs?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">34.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.obscurehorror.com/bloodymurder.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 317px; height: 475px;" src="http://www.obscurehorror.com/bloodymurder.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />One of the most blatant ripoffs of <span style="font-style:italic;">Friday the 13th</span>, to the point that I'm surprised no one got sued. Counselors show up to prep a summer camp where the legend of some murderous dead guy haunt the camp. Shit happens exactly like you would think, only with worse acting and a camera crew that doesn't know what the fuck it's doing. It's watchable at least, just to see what else can go wrong. There's really not much else worth going on about.<br />Sights within:<br />-A guy who's blatantly anti-reading.<br />-Why is there always a guy named Dean or Trent in these things?<br />-So they all agree to play a game where you're guaranteed to get hurt in the dark while running around in the woods?<br />-World's most hardcore running scene. That guy fucking books it.<br />-"Misery comes in lots of different forms. It's all miserable." True quote.<br />-Red herring abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D</span> <br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QizcHwjNZLU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QizcHwjNZLU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">35.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/193862.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 874px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/193862.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />If this had been shot today, PETA would have torn them a new asshole. Marshmallow fluff flows out of the ground causing various animals to grow to rear-projection worthy size. A couple of football players come to strike swift vengeance against nature at the same time capitalist pigs come to buy the fluff, only for all parties to be caught up in a siege by over-sized rats. I really enjoy this one since it reminds me of the endless amount of creature features offered up by TNT and TBS a when I was a kid. Somehow I never came across this one before it was released on DVD a few years ago, though I do remember almost renting it a few times when I was little. There's nothing new here but it does carry a whole lot of fun, along with a lot of drowned rats, if you're into that kind of thing. Classic B-movie fodder.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most lethal cocks. Yep.<br />-True rat abuse. It's almost shocking to see nowadays.<br />-That guy really wants his fluff.<br />-Ewww! Giant maggots!<br />-But...can't rats swim?<br />-Honestly, if you have murderous animals, you have me at "Hello."<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DuSwwZ1n6KU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DuSwwZ1n6KU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Movies Watched:</span> 5<br />-Brutal<br />-Night of the Dribbler<br />-Saw 6 (Blu)<br />-The Happening (Blu)<br />-Bloody Murder<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Movies Bought:</span> 2<br />-Primal Rage<br />-Horror High<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen DVDS:</span> 3219<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen Blu-rays:</span> 68<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen VHS:</span> 121<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen DVD-R'S:</span> 5<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">He's gonna start a war<br />He hops in his pickup puts the pedal to the floor</span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-683082663429804542010-08-11T15:08:00.000-07:002010-08-31T17:34:53.818-07:00Road to 500: The New BatchWell, I've been plugging away at this silly goal like I intended, but because of it I've gotten way behind on keeping track of them on here. As of the time if this writing, I'm up to about 60 movies watched so I'm on track for keeping my goal. Now I just need to carve out some time around the movies and everything else that's been going on around here to actually do the writing portion of this foolish crusade. I'm hoping to get a big update done over the weekend but until then, here's the next sampling of what I've been watching. And keep an eye out for the other features I hinted at a while ago. I'm hoping to transition this blog into an all purpose center for my rants on movies and weird little topics I come up with on top of keeping track of the movies I need to watch. Maybe that'll turn this thing into something people will actually want to read. See you then.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">17.</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/536716.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 826px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/536716.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />It's a shame that this one didn't get more business. Horror fans like to bitch about the PG-13 rating, but honestly, it gets by without excessive blood or gore by focusing on being more of an amusement park ride. It's gross and insanely fun without crossing the line into serious horror territory. Every other scene is a great set-piece designed for either laughs or gross-out moments, even if the movie starts to feel like it's only stitched together solely for the sake of such moments. It's easy to overlook the flaws in the movie since it pretty much works on the same level of a Looney Tunes cartoon. The actors are simply there for the abuse, even if it does manage to inject some kind of personality into Alison Lohman for the first time in her career. For people still bitching about an <span style="font-style:italic;">Evil Dead 4</span>, there's a perfectly acceptable substitute right here.<br />Sights within:<br />-Haunted hanky.<br />-Staple-face<br />-World's most horribel example of "sucking face."<br />-Kitty sacrfice.<br />-World's worst nosebleed.<br />-An evil fucking goat.<br />-Kitten vomit.<br />-Corpse abuse.<br />-A great "fuck you" ending.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">A-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/oNpQgoO-Ea8&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/oNpQgoO-Ea8&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">18.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/194166.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 904px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/194166.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />This was the first rerun of the challenge, though I hadn't watched it in a while. The last story with the troll was one of my favorite things in the world as a kid, but one thing I had always overlooked was how funny the rest of the movie was. James Woods in particular is hilarious, but then again, it is James Woods so you probably should have expected it. I always found the second story with the ledge fascinating. When I was about ten years old, I'd find things to climb up on and try to reenact it as best as I could. The show stopper is still the troll. He's designed perfectly and the scenes with him in the bedroom is some of the greatest shit in the world. I think it still holds up now because of the use of practical effects. The monster suit works great and can show a surprisingly full range of emotions and the fact that they actually built scaled sets for it is amazing. The eventual remake will probably be 80% CGI which is depressing enough to want to drink. This is still a great movie and is one of the few that I think is actually great for kids to watch. I'm surprised it's not talked about much anymore.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's only cameos by both Cujo and Christine.<br />-Closet capers.<br />-A cigarette crazed fever dream.<br />-Booted pigeon.<br />-French horn abuse.<br />-Drew Barrymore right as the drugs began their hold.<br />-"Fuck you" says the troll.<br />-Wicked troll knife.<br />-I guess you could say "he was a big <span style="font-style:italic;">fan</span>?" Ha! Get it?!<br />-That was awful. I apologize.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span> <br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/o_cFNbrPLx4&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/o_cFNbrPLx4&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">19.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/502665.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 860px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/502665.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Overall, pretty disappointing, but then again it seems more catered to the mall crowd then someone actually into horror movies. Or maybe it's just that zombies are beyond any sort of saturation point that the only thing anyone can do is make jokes. I'm sorry but when a fucking cell phone commercial is using zombies and Windows 7 is blatantly stealing a scene from Fulci's <span style="font-style:italic;">Zombi</span>, it's time to retire the genre. Of course that wouldn't explain why the middle of this movie drags ass and is devoid of any type of zombie despite its title. If it wasn't for Woody Harrelson, this movie could go fuck itself, that's how insulting it feels. If Woody wasn't around to deliver 85% of the movie's jokes, you'd start to notice how pointless it all is. I'm kind of glad <span style="font-style:italic;">Twilight</span> came around and put the spotlight on vampires, a tired and barren genre no matter what happens in it, just so that it can hopefully steal some of the mainstream's attention and kills some of the endless dumbass zombie movies being crapped out. <br />Sights within:<br />-World's most interactive credits.<br />-Banjo abuse.<br />-They must have had some deep-rooted hatred for the Native American people.<br />-Ghostbuster abuse.<br />-Unwarranted Twinkie fascination.<br />-The only movie that felt like a tired sitcom.<br />-How the fuck did anything at the end work in the first place? Who's running those fucking things?<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7BdXZPcE3eA&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7BdXZPcE3eA&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">20.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Jack_Brooks_Monster_Slayer/jack_brooks_monster_slayer_movie_poster.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 600px; height: 888px;" src="http://www.collider.com/uploads/imageGallery/Jack_Brooks_Monster_Slayer/jack_brooks_monster_slayer_movie_poster.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />If I had seen this movie when I was 10, it'd be one of my favorites along with <span style="font-style:italic;">The Monster Squad</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">Night of the Creeps</span>. I still love it now, but there's something different that gets impressed somewhere in your head as a child than as an adult. The movie's nothing more than Jack Brooks trying to deal with his anger problems until he finds that beating the ever-lovin' shit out of monsters is the perfect release. Trevor Matthews is so good as Brooks, it's hard to imagine that he originally was just a producer and writer before being convinced to give the role a shot. The effects are gloriously '80's, foam and latex are everywhere without a single shot of CGI anywhere that I can remember. And Robert Englund is obviously having a ball and chewing all of the scenery he can. Just a great, fun movie that manages to capture the feeling of a bygone era while telling a new story rather than just retreading the same shit (*cough*Eli Roth Rob Zombie*cough*).<br />Sights within:<br />-World's best tirade involving egg rolls.<br />-Awesome monster designs.<br />-Robert Englund as filthy as you've ever seen him.<br />-Canine abuse.<br />-A kick-ass plumber not named Mario.<br />-Canadian "surry" abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/n9-v6aq4ylo&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/n9-v6aq4ylo&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">21.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/538222.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 871px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/538222.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Bleh. Wasn't expecting much, didn't get much. Some of the dialog was funny, but other than that everything else has been done before with much more compelling characters. It comes across like it's trying too hard to be the next <span style="font-style:italic;">Heathers</span> but feels just as generic as any other Hollywood genre movie being churned out, only with a vocabulary that makes you want to hold Diablo Cody hostage and force her to read classic English literature. Megan Fox does what she always seem to do, look like a used up ex-porn star with all of the personality of a table lamp. Amanda Seyfried's trying too hard for something that's not really worth it. The only real acting highlights come from Adam Brody, surprisingly, as a rock star who doesn't give a shit about anyone, and J.K. Simmons, who's always awesome. It's not a horrible movie, but it's nothing you'll even try to remember once it's over. <br />Sights within:<br />-An awesome kick to the face.<br />-I guess anyone can try to come up with their own slang terms. Samoflange. There. Just did it.<br />-You really think anyone would buy that she's a virgin?<br />-World's only case of wildlife voyeurism. <br />-Vomit with spikes. Trendy.<br />-Lance Henrikson abuse.<br />-It's a movie made for hipsters to watch on Halloween and feel even more self-important.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LCSzYioSeT0&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LCSzYioSeT0&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">22.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/344683.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 814px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/344683.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Yep, The Asylum makes original movies, too. Well, as original as you can get with vampire movies, anyway. Van Helsing somehow lives on until modern day, working as a greasy British doctor when the vampire who claimed his wife returns and begins creating a new army of vamps. There's some scenes of Van Helsing training a bunch of glorified extras while the evil vampires are menscing it up in your typical abandoned warehouse set. It's just all so...pedestrian. Some shit happens, and then some more shit happens, until it finally ends. You can't bring yourself to care about any of this, even if you tried. There's worse out there (trust me), but there's a hell of a lot better, too.<br />Sights within:<br />-Apparently the filmmakers thought night=coating everything in blue during post.<br />-World's worst ADR.<br />-Van Helsing crahses what appears to be an AA meeting to recruit vampire hunters, who all die three minutes into battle.<br />-Editing abuse.<br />-That lady looks like she has to pee the whole damn movie.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bDGm4PcqpqM&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bDGm4PcqpqM&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">23.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.dixieshorrormovietomb.com/OlderReleases/DraculasCursePoster1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 450px; height: 601px;" src="http://www.dixieshorrormovietomb.com/OlderReleases/DraculasCursePoster1.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />You gotta give it to them, they're ambitious. Another Asylum movie dealing with vampires, but this one suffers from <span style="font-style:italic;">too</span> much plot and planning. It tries to ape the <span style="font-style:italic;">Blade</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Underworld</span> movies by creating this labyrinthine mythology delivered by fledgling actors with about an hour and a half of build-up before eight minutes of "action" occurs. Something to do with vampire society going back on a promise or something or another and they have to kill Elizabeth Bathory who's in the movie for a combined six minutes, despite endless monologues about how terrifying she is. They try, dammit, they try. The actors do their best, with only Rhett Giles rising above the rest of the production. The story needs to worked on more, but even them the movie's feeling tedious as long as it is, so I don't know what to do about that. I think with a bigger budget and better talent pool, this could function as a decent television series, albeit one I still wouldn't watch.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's worst reference to <span style="font-style:italic;">London After Midnight</span>.<br />-There's <span style="font-style:italic;">chapters</span> in this fucking thing? It's that long?<br />-Horrible sound editing.<br />-"Ahhh, yes." Enough already, shit.<br />-Secret bunker abuse.<br />-World's worst Dracula design.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VkJ8NAzhAjM&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VkJ8NAzhAjM&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">24.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/192935.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 865px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/192935.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I don't even know if it's worth writing about this movie. I'm sure just about anyone that could care has at least heard about it if not have actually watched it. I will say that I think I'm reaching saturation point with it. It didn't feel as fun watching it as it usually does, which could just be from knowing every single detail to the movie before it happens. It's still worth throwing on every once and a while if you feel like having something comfortable play while you work on other things. I just wish sometimes that I could watch movies like it was the first time with certain movies. I remember when this first hit video back when I was about 14. My brothers and my friend who lived down the road had rented it and we watched three times back to back, and then watched it twice more the next day before having to return it. The sheer pandemonium was mindblowing to a teenage boy. I wish I wasn't such a jaded movie watcher sometimes and could watch movies like I did back when I was a kid.<br />Sights within:<br />-Quentin Tarantino playing the one role he always looked like he was born for.<br />-Cheech Marin abuse.<br />-World's most hurtful condoms.<br />-Cock gun.<br />-Fred Williamson taking out fools with a pencil.<br />-Shotglass abuse.<br />-Just...what is the explanation for the fucking rat thing anyways?<br />-Death by disco-ball<br />-I miss when KNB effects didn't look like pink plastic to me.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/F2fK58Vs9iA&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/F2fK58Vs9iA&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">25.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.dreadcentral.com/img/reviews/hpil.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 513px;" src="http://www.dreadcentral.com/img/reviews/hpil.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />People always give the type of movie that premieres on the Syfy Channel a bad name, but then they'll turn around and make cult films out of some broke down Roger Corman movie he doesn't even probably remember making. That just seems like backwards thinking to me as films such as this one really are the modern day version of the old Corman movies being schlepped around as "classics." The only difference I see is that Corman's rubber suits give them a slight more charm than Syfy's impersonal CGI, but other than that, they're the same damn movies. I always get a kick out of them even if they all start to suffer from the same faults. I can handle the bad CGI, poor characterizations, genre actors showing up for their paychecks, and whatever whack-job title they come up with. The one thing that never fails to diminish these movies is that they run out of steam around forty-five minutes in. I'm always into them at first, enjoying their C-level storytelling, but as it goes on it wears out its welcome, limping its way to whatever hackneyed idea they have to kill the monsters. This one tries a little harder with its old west setting and out-there monster design which makes it more enjoyable than most of them. It's watchable for a late Saturday night flick, which is probably why Syfy is always showing them then.<br />Sights within:<br />-Nothing screams "characterization" than having some loudmouth yelling about her every nuance four minutes into the movie just to get it out of the way.<br />-World's weirdest Syfy design. Just what in the fuck are these things supposed to be?<br />-I like how they're supposed to be able to outrun a horse but are never animated past the same clunking around they do throughout the whole movie.<br />-The beginning looks great with the fog and rain that disappears depending on what shot it is.<br />-James Marsters sounds like he had just read the script for the first time before each one of his lines.<br />-Plutonium theory abuse.<br />-World's most inept sheriff.<br />-The two dumbasses plan on reselling plutonium for a ton of money even though it was <span style="font-style:italic;">just</span> explained to them that no one else in the world knows what the hell it is.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CeenlEM62cE&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CeenlEM62cE&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">26.</span> <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dcrw66/00926dy4.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 327px; height: 468px;" src="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a35/dcrw66/00926dy4.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Part of Spain's answer to <span style="font-style:italic;">Masters of Horror</span>, the <span style="font-style:italic;">Six Films to Keep You Awake</span> was a series of films made by Spain's leading horror directors. This one comes from the director of <span style="font-style:italic;">Who Can Kill a Child?</span>, which I consider one of the best of the killer children genre so I was looking forward to checking this one out. A woman and her daughter movie in with a doctor to be her assistant and help her perform illegal abortions at night. The woman becomes pregnant after a night stand, causing her own dilemma over planned parenthood. It's not a bad movie, just not much happens. I love slow burn movies as long as they're actually engaging and builds up to something, but this just seems to plod along with a few tangents thrown into the plot that end up meaning almost nothing before the uneventful climax. Nothing horrible, but it's also something I won't remember much of in another few weeks.<br />Sights within:<br />-One shitty temp score that somehow stayed in the final movie.<br />-World's most blatant coercion for an abortion.<br />-Fetus abuse.<br />-The daughter's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/doTD0AmfHok&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/doTD0AmfHok&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Movies Watched:</span> 8 <br />-Drag Me to Hell (Blu)<br />-Zombieland (Blu)<br />-Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer<br />-Jennifer's Body (Blu)<br />-Bram Stoker's Way of the Vampire<br />-Bram Stoker's Dracula's Curse<br />-High Plains Invaders<br />-Blame<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Movies Bought:</span> 21<br />-Four Eyed Monsters<br />-Saw 6 (Blu)<br />-Now Eat<br />-Wall Street<br />-Talk Radio<br />-Born on the Fourth of July<br />-JFK<br />-Persona Non Grata<br />-Looking for Fidel<br />-Heaven and Earth<br />-Nixon<br />-Stop Me Before I Kill<br />-Cash on Demand<br />-Maniac (1963)<br />-The Snorkel<br />-Never Take Candy From a Stranger<br />-These Are the Damned<br />-The Crazies (2010) (Blu)<br />-The Dead Are Alive<br />-Stigma<br />-Slithis<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen DVDS:</span> 3222<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen Blu-rays:</span> 70<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen VHS:</span> 121<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen DVD-R'S:</span> 5<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Can you remember remember my name</span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-60372396443248049662010-07-22T16:09:00.001-07:002010-08-31T17:33:11.910-07:00Road to 500: 16 Films to Pass the Time WithI decided to start out my 500 movie challenge by catching up with the last two years worth of After Dark Horrorfest movies, which are typically more miss than hit. But, they were an easy guidance tool to just power through them, helping me stay on track. <br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">1. The Graves</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/529895.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 856px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/529895.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />What is probably the worst fucking movie possible to start out a massive marathon. This is the kind of movie that makes you contemplate swearing off cinema for good. Two morons go to see the world's biggest ice cream scoop or some stupid shit and get caught in your typical hillbillies killing outlander shit. They try to throw in some supernatural aspects later in the movie to change it up but all it does is withhold the end credits even longer. Tony Todd's never overacted more in his life, and while Bill Mosely is fun to watch, you can tell he's just cashing a paycheck. All of the gore scenes are done with basement level CGI, even the beginner level effects. Whoever ran the camera is a moron, flat out. It never knows where the actors are going or what to focus on, and somehow it was still left in so you have to wonder how bad the other takes were, assuming there were other takes. Awful.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's absolute worst "I got stabbed!" face.<br />-A lady who shakes like a Pomeranian.<br />-A failure on every level of what it means to be a movie.<br />-Chaos! Comics abuse.<br />-A guy dies from being stabbed in the knee. Okay.<br />-Half the movie is delivered by bad ADR anytime someone's back's turned.<br />-The demon is a smell?<br />-I really hope Brian Pulido didn't blow all of his comic money on this shit.<br />Grade:<span style="font-weight:bold;">F</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_xiq9rlw6nM&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_xiq9rlw6nM&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">2. Zombies of Mass Destruction</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/535498.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 773px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/535498.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Dude, I'm done with independent zombie comedies. Everybody thinks they can slap one together and everybody will love it. Well, the truth hurts but you suck. Unless you have some kind of understanding of the genre and something new to bring, stay the fuck home and write a Sandra Bullock movie. This thing tries to be cutting edge by throwing in topical humor that was outdated by 2004. There were three, exactly three, times I laughed, and the last couple I think I was forcing it. Also, I'm sick of films being shot on digital and all having the exact same look and color tones. At least different films gave you different looks. And it's not that hard to throw on some filters or change it up in post anymore. It just reeks of laziness. <br />Sights within:<br />-World's worst lisping minority.<br />-The zombies might as well not even be there.<br />-Stereotype abuse.<br />-90 minutes of horrible comedy, and then the epilogue decides to get dead serious?<br />-The gay conversion chair was somewhat funny.<br />-The acting sucks.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-7fudSMOva4&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-7fudSMOva4&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">3. Slaughter</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41OvPqHTO8L._SS500_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 500px; height: 500px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41OvPqHTO8L._SS500_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Two girls meet up and one starts sleeping around only to have the men go missing the next morning. No real explanation for that is ever given, instead the ending is more concerned with laying out exposition about woe is me bullshit. The movie is shot well enough and the acting is decent but the story seems like it's being held together by wood glue. Other than the ending running about twenty minutes too long, there's really not too much to comment on here since the whole thing feels vapid. It just simply exists.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's best voicemail message.<br />-The whole thing feels like one of the more forgettable Fear Street books.<br />-Molar abuse.<br />-Wah wah wah, shut up already.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cyBYOHs5GOo&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cyBYOHs5GOo&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">4. The Butterfly Effect 3</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/515991.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 814px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/515991.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I was surprised that this was as good as it was. The first one was decent enough (never saw the second) and you can imagine the kind of downgrade in quality when a series goes DTV. This one had decent acting and an engaging story, even if I completely called the ending about twenty minutes in. It's a much more gruesome film than the original but it's balanced out by some pretty effective humor. Entertaining, even if you don't really take anything away from it.<br />Sights within:<br />-After Dark's resident go-to annoying actress Rachel Miner just has to show up huh?<br />-It's nice how they explain a little why Ashton Kutcher loses his shit in the first one.<br />-World's most jarring opening.<br />-Disembodied finger abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/bXni0pAkPzk&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/bXni0pAkPzk&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">5. Perkins 14</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/484854.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 831px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/484854.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />This was created by a group of people voting on message boards, from story to casting and everything else. An interesting idea, even if the movie came out to be a waste of time. The beginning is decent enough, even if the lead of the film is completely awful. Richard Brake turns in the film's only good performance as a child abductor who then unleashes the titular "14" on the town, which is also when the film starts to get worse and worse. It becomes nothing but teenagers in ratty clothes chasing people down with horrible lighting accenting it. The movie becomes more and more tedious to finish until it ends things with a climax that would be disappointing if you still even cared by that point. <br />Sights within:<br />-Someone needs to get that actor some fiber or something because that stick up his ass is almost showing.<br />-Look, it's that Danzig-poser.<br />-World's most tedious attack scenes.<br />-Ohhh, look, when it's back-lit and out of focus, that means it's art.<br />-Richard Brake abuse.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/5P-2rXS5LS4&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/5P-2rXS5LS4&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">6. Dying Breed</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51WsUfI4Q7L._SL500_AA300_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51WsUfI4Q7L._SL500_AA300_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Not a bad entry in the backwoods killer sub-genre. Tying it into the history of Tasmania and the Tasmanian tiger makes it a bit more interesting than most. The interaction between the main characters are good and are much more believable than most films. The townsfolk are dutifully creepy and the random bursts of violence are effective. It starts to lose steam in the third act but overall, it's still a fun enough watch.<br />-Look, a boat made it from the <span style="font-style:italic;">Waterworld</span> set.<br />-Puppy abuse.<br />-World's only CGI Tasmanian tiger.<br />-Double bear-trap whammy.<br />-See, Leigh Whannell isn't that bad of an actor. <br />-Bye-bye, rabbit.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C+</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dtnPGuvmnug&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dtnPGuvmnug&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">7. Autopsy</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/442669.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 859px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/442669.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />An exercise in demented humor, this isn't really anything you haven't seen before, but it sure is fun. A group of friends get stuck in an old hospital that runs with the idea of having the inmates run the asylum. A simple excuse for gross practical gags and nutball characters, it separates itself from other similar films by not holding back and having talented character actors hold it all up. The interactions between A.J. Bowen and Robert LaSardo make for a Laurel and Hardy for the mentally disturbed and could hold a movie together just by themselves. A twisted fun time.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's longest piece of glass removed from a human body.<br />-A literal meaning of having to get rid of some fingerprints.<br />-World's funniest punch in the face.<br />-Spinal fluid abuse.<br />-Intestines chandelier.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/a8AMGNbkUdk&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/a8AMGNbkUdk&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">8. Lake Mungo</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/536250.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 818px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/536250.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Another false documentary that seems to be in style lately, though I'm always a sucker for them. Most of them are effective for me so I'll keep checking them out if they keep making them. This takes place after a girl in Australia drowns in a lake. Soon, evidence arises that her ghost may be haunting her family. The film is constructed around the use of video and photos that are so prevalent in society anymore. Toothbrushes have cameras in them it seems, and the movie uses these devices as the method to delivering its scares. As it goes, more of the story is uncovered and your perception changes as new aspects are revealed. The movie ultimately builds up to its one genuine scare moment that kicks the air out of you and leaves an image in your head that'll stay with you for a few days. The acting is very natural and the movie uses time lapse photography and sound design to lend a great atmosphere to the story. Probably the best of the After Dark films thus far.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most fucked phone video.<br />-Stay tuned through through the credits, kids.<br />-Image manipulation abuse.<br />-A dread I haven't felt since <span style="font-style:italic;">Blair Witch</span>.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">A</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/d2ISuVvP-XI&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/d2ISuVvP-XI&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">9. Kill Theory</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51mYNhbNqNL._SL500_AA300_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51mYNhbNqNL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Some guy for no real reason decides to pull a <span style="font-style:italic;">Saw</span> and forces a group of kids to kill each other. Instead of using any sort of common sense, these kids go off the fucking deep end in a manner of seconds and start turning on each other just because the story needs it. If they had shut the hell up and calmed down, this guy would have been a joke. Pointless, but is at least somewhat entertaining.<br />Sights within:<br />-Directed by Chris Moore, the prick from <span style="font-style:italic;">Project Greenlight</span>.<br />-World's biggest bear-trap.<br />-It really doesn't help when the two girls still alive at the end are both blonde and are both wearing the same color shirt. Not once could I tell them apart.<br />-Tabasco sauce abuse.<br />-World's longest "fuck you."<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HoIPVF-AgsI&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HoIPVF-AgsI&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">10. The Final</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/534673.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 860px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/534673.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />A very interesting idea pulled off by wanna-be filmmakers. Nerds take the popular kids hostage and torture them, having watched a little too much <span style="font-style:italic;">Saw</span>. It starts out well enough, but once the nerds' plan is in motion, there's really not much to do with a bunch of kids strapped down in one room. Any sort of message to be told is delivered like a lead pipe with the main nerd monologuing throughout the last half of the movie like an Inspector gadget villain. Great set-up, lackluster execution.<br />Sights within:<br />-Amongst the films alluded to: <span style="font-style:italic;">Hostel, Saw,</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">Audition</span>. Directed by a horror "fan" enamored with the films of the last six years.<br />-Who the fuck were those two kids killed in the woods? They're not accounted for at all and it's been driving me apeshit for three days now.<br />-Shaving cream abuse.<br />-That girl doesn't need a mask to be creepy.<br />-Shouldn't these kids be playing <span style="font-style:italic;">World of Warcraft</span> or something?<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2hJEo4tB20Q&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2hJEo4tB20Q&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">11. The Reeds</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41l9WKriRPL._SL500_AA300_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41l9WKriRPL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />A fairly decent British ghost tale. A group of friends (like always) go on vacation in the....swamp? Anyways, they charter a boat and go cruising only to run afoul of the spirits that were buried in the swamp. I will say that I was worried at first that it was going to devolve into another backwoods slasher flick, but after about twenty minutes the supernatural aspects began sneaking up. The film has a lot of creepy moments and manage to create a great atmosphere out of what's basically a pond with overgrown weeds. The film loses some of its edge when it begins over explaining everything, as most of these movies tend to do unfortunately. Before that, it's a surprisingly enjoyable little ghost flick.<br />Sights within:<br />-They weren't lying about there being reeds.<br />-Swamp abuse.<br />-Human kabob.<br />-That guy looks exactly like a black Billy Zane.<br />-World's most unfortunate encounter with a machete.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/U4gtba8ouLU&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/U4gtba8ouLU&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">12. From Within</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/516839.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 834px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/516839.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />The movie starts out with what seems like a great idea only to turn into the same old shit. I can tell there's a much more interesting story somewhere waiting to be told about the evils of religious fanaticism, but the filmmakers don't have either the talent or the imagination to tell that story. What's left is the same old bullshit about a curse and trying to stop it. The acting's average, with Adam Goldberg turning in a really good performance outside of his usual roles. A decent time-killer but instantly forgettable.<br />Sights within:<br />-Man, Rumer Willis really looks like her mom with her dad's jaw welded on.<br />-World's shortest Jared Harris appearance.<br />-So is the whole town obsessed with church? Is this Utah?<br />-World's biggest cry-baby witch boy.<br />-Wiccan abuse.<br />-A great final punchline that's hampered by rushing through it too quick.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">C</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/S7deZyB2kfE&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/S7deZyB2kfE&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">13. The Broken</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/450389.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 829px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/450389.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Normally, I'm all for the slow-burn creep out movies. If the film is made well enough, I'll revel in the slow build up as long as the final reveal is worth it. This film does all that, but when it comes time to deliver, there's no oomph there to make it worth it, causing the whole thing to feel a little hollow. It's well acted, well shot, and creates an effective, sterile atmosphere, but the film always pulls back before any real scares can be offered. There's still a few tense scenes but it falls just short of being great. It might be better on a second watch, but I have no idea when I'll get around to it.<br />Sights within:<br />-Was that a wooden phone?<br />-World's longest before credits quote.<br />-There's been too many uses of doppelgangers in these 8 Films to Die For.<br />-Mirror abuse.<br />-Was there any reason why this shit was happening in the first place?<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q0nKZd9UxuI&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Q0nKZd9UxuI&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">14. Voices</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41tsuIa2lvL._SL500_AA300_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41tsuIa2lvL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />A pretty gruesome Asian horror entry that's thankfully light on the cursed electronics. People are going apeshit and killing those around them with no apparent reason, and one girl tries to survive being the next target. The film delivers random brutal attack sequences with an engaging mystery, even if it's never really explained. I know a lot of people are fed up with Asian horror, but I still find them effective. They have a patience and understanding of the fear of the unknown that usually works on me where American films tend to fail. <br />Sights within:<br />-Random falling brides.<br />-Fencing abuse.<br />-World's most obtuse ending.<br />-What the fuck was that burnt thing?<br />-Talk about paranoia.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cVMVR-616eE&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cVMVR-616eE&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">15. Hidden</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/529987.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 859px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/529987.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />A Norwegian horror film (how often do you come across those?) that manages to pull of great atmosphere even if the ending lets you down. KK comes home after his mother dies and soon people begin dying, with KK being the main suspect. It has a similar story to any number of films, however this one stands out thanks to its thick atmosphere. Most of the film feels like <span style="font-style:italic;">Silent Hill</span> in the game's downtime. The movie is caked with darkness, fog, and green forests, creeping up on you as it goes on. Unfortunately, the movie ends in the most predictable manner and takes forever to get there, ruining what had been a great build up.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's trippiest hotel.<br />-Doesn't rely on dialog like most movies.<br />-Roy abuse.<br />-Man, fuck Roy.<br />Grade:<span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/j1M51aSAW0A&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/j1M51aSAW0A&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">16. Dread</span> <br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/519961.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 870px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/519961.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Based on a Clive Barker story, this film takes its time getting to the horror aspects but is still engrossing as it gets there. A group of students delve into a study of fear, with one taking the interest too far. The film's primarily about the characters, only dealing with the physical horrors when it has to. It's by focusing on truly analyzing the mental condition of these people does it avoid falling into another <span style="font-style:italic;">Saw</span>-inspired torture fest. A great film that sticks in your head for a while afterwards.<br />Sights within:<br />-Axe cam.<br />-Cooked meat abuse.<br />-World's most uncomfortable scene involving bleach.<br />-Nasty axe to the head.<br />-Sure <span style="font-style:italic;">fire</span> way to go deaf. Get it?<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XSQ2UIlLRSo&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XSQ2UIlLRSo&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Movies Watched:</span> 16 <br />-The Graves<br />-Zombies of Mass Destruction<br />-Slaughter<br />-Butterfly Effect 3<br />-Perkins 14<br />-Dying Breed<br />-Autopsy<br />-Lake Mungo<br />-Kill Theory<br />-The Final<br />-The Reeds<br />-From Within<br />-The Broken<br />-Voices<br />-Hidden<br />-Dread<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Movies Bought:</span> 7<br />-Bigger Stronger Faster<br />-High Plains Invaders<br />-Hellhounds<br />-Blood Creek<br />-Cabin Fever 2<br />-Brainsmasher: A Love Story (VHS)<br />-Zombieland (Blu)<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen DVDS:</span> 3208<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen Blu-rays:</span> 71<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen VHS:</span> 121<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen DVD-R'S:</span> 5<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">We'll infect your carnal mind, mind, mind, mind</span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-2681668160801863152010-07-21T16:52:00.000-07:002010-08-24T21:27:04.686-07:00Road to 500: Prologue<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.videodetective.com/photos/121/00511025_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://www.videodetective.com/photos/121/00511025_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />So, I had planned on graduating this summer and had planned on doing so for about two years now. Since I knew that we probably wouldn't have the funds for true vacation or any other sort of celebration, I figured the least I could do is take October off and watch a straight marathon of horror movies. In fact, I've been doing my damnedest not to watch any horror movies at all since last Halloween, just so that this October would be a little more special.<br /> <br />Then I got reamed in the ass by financial aid. I never had problems before in the whole three years I've been going to school, but at the very last term they fall apart on me, screwing me on my plans. So now, I have to take three more classes as well as shoot my senior film this October leaving me with no free time at all.<br /><br />I've been sitting here, recently unemployed and with only two classes to take, not knowing what the hell to do. So I came up with a different idea. I decided that I'm going to try to watch at least 500 horror films before the end of the year, leaving me with a little over five months to complete this Herculean goal. This way, I get to be able to enjoy my favorite genre as much as I can as well as giving me some direction with what to do in my downtime. Besides, as soon as I get another job I'll be bitching about not having enough time to watch the movies I've bought so I might as well get in as much as I can while I can. Normally this blog is just to keep track of the movies I've never seen before, but I'm going to change that up a bit. I'll do write-ups for both the previously seen movies as well as the new ones, though I don't know if they'll be as long winded. I've already got a big chunk watched and under my belt which I'll get around to writing up when I can (these things don't come quick, ya know), so I'm off to a good start. So if you're interested in seeing if I can make it, keep checking back to see how far I've come. We'll all discover at the end of the year how my sanity's held up. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.horrordvds.com/reviews/n-z/shining/shining_shot2l.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 638px; height: 480px;" src="http://www.horrordvds.com/reviews/n-z/shining/shining_shot2l.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Nothing to lose but my chains</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Internet beats on my brains</span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2277115008604495505.post-3883471825039728812010-07-15T14:29:00.000-07:002010-08-31T17:27:39.298-07:00Forbidden Benjamin of the Blood BeastThis concludes the giant batch of movies I've been trying to get caught up on. I suddenly have a lot more time on my hands so I'm going to be spending the remainder of the year trying to reach a certain goal I set for myself which I've already started on, but I'll save the details of that for a separate post. For now, it's the typical garbage.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/490669.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 859px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/490669.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />You combine Woody Allen with Larry David, and I'm fucking <span style="font-style:italic;">there</span>. Larry plays what feels like a spiritual cousin to me; a man so cynical, it burns just to listen to him. Imagine his role on <span style="font-style:italic;">Curb Your Enthusiasm</span> but instill a whole new level of hate in his heart and that's what you're seeing here. He falls for what could only be the most perfect definition of a polar opposite, forcing him to deal with the humanity he so desperately shuns. Larry doesn't come across as the best actor in the film, but his barbs are so funny and caustic you won't really notice much. The rest if the movie falters whenever the focus is taken off of him. The whole thing begins to come across as some off-Broadway play after a while and the characters really start taking left turns out of nowhere just so there can be some laughs at the big wrap up. Normally this would bug the hell out of me, but the strength of the Boris character is so good, I could easily overlook it.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most unexpected, yet funny, suicide attempt.<br />-People start and end relationships at the drop of a hat here.<br />-I could watch an entire movie that consists solely of Larry David insulting children at a chess table if I could.<br />-What a tidy little wrap up.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mTEVn_BIE_U&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mTEVn_BIE_U&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/450558.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 820px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/450558.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Even though the subject matter is way more fucked-up than anything in <span style="font-style:italic;">Mr. Vengeance</span> or <span style="font-style:italic;">Oldboy</span>, I didn't find this as hard hitting as the other two films in the trilogy. Park spends more time on an intricately thought out plot than on his amazing directorial style, even though his worst directing is leagues better than almost anything we have to offer. The eponymous character is released from prison and sets about her path to revenge, not realizing just how deep that will take her. The film's climax twists you inside. You want to root for these guys and what they're doing, but it's handled with such a patient and somber attitude that you begin to doubt whether it truly is the right thing to do. I find this to be my least favorite of the <span style="font-style:italic;">Vengeance</span> trilogy, but that doesn't make this any less of an engrossing, superbly made trip of a movie.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most abstract gun, outside of <span style="font-style:italic;">Videodrome</span>.<br />-The poor puppy.<br />-One of the best opening credits.<br />-The humor in Park's films always makes you feel awful for laughing.<br />-They did a great job of making Oldboy into a truly despicable person.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/blAgspkgcZA&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/blAgspkgcZA&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51FCYQDQYZL._SL500_AA300_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51FCYQDQYZL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Or <span style="font-style:italic;">SPL</span> as it's known around the rest of the world. The difference between our action movies and Hong Kong action movies is that they have actual skill in filming fight scenes as well as usually trying to deliver a story that makes you think. This film presents a typical cobs and bad guys tale, but spends most of its time twisting you on who you should actually be caring about. This isn't a film about blacks and whites but about the different levels of grays. The bad guys have families and the cops falsify evidence, it's a constant switch on the definitions of what is a "good guy" and what is a "bad guy." The action scenes are amazing and put to shame the fight scenes we have in our films. Donnie Yen specifically tears ass whenever he's allowed to. Yet, the movie isn't <span style="font-style:italic;">about</span> the fights. They're simply how these men do business. A great film that has gone completely ignored in this country.<br />Sights within:<br />-Sammo Hung pretty much destroys the general idea of what a fat man can do.<br />-Doesn't it look like Donnie Yen is wearing too much chap-stick throughout the movie?<br />-World's coolest knife fight.<br />-An ending that will leave you blinking in silence for a couple of minutes. Wow.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vZs48lJXhxM&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vZs48lJXhxM&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51rCWjDoCZL._SL500_AA300_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51rCWjDoCZL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Ouch. A movie so down and dirty, you'll wince. This is like a Chan Wook Park film that's more concerned with grit than style. The whole movie feels dirty, thanks to a run-down film look and the nastiness of the story itself. A man raised as an assassin from childhood runs afoul of the team of detectives determined to bring him down, even as he discovers his own humanity. The fight scenes aren't about pulling off cool stunts. They're brutal, hitting hard and fast. As the supposed bad guy of the film brings himself into the light, the primary cop chasing him begins to slip down into the darkness, obsessed with catching the killer. This film would feel right at home in the gritty cinema of the 70's. It's completely free of the typical bullshit found in similar films and actually rattled me a little for a few days afterwards. Definitely worth hunting down.<br />Sights within:<br />-I don't think I've ever seen a crime movie feel so hopeless for every character within.<br />-World's most bizarre love story.<br />-Cement blocks hurt.<br />-Edison Chan acts the hell out of this movie, while barely saying anything.<br />-You'll feel like you need a shower once the movie ends.<br />-And speaking of which, how can such a disturbing ending have even the slimmest glimmer of hope like this one does?<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">A-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/13AK2WEMJdw&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/13AK2WEMJdw&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/259258.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 859px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/259258.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />One I had seen scenes from here and there over the years, but I had never sat down and watched it from start to finish before. One of the biggest strengths of the film is how it gets across how these people were so admired. They're funny and eschew charisma wherever they go. It's not hard to imagine why these criminals became such celebrities, before the days where you're a celebrity first and then you're a criminal. Everyone in the movie seems to be having fun, until its infamous ending kicks the air out of you. The violence may not seem that bad to viewers today but its liberal use of killing was pretty jarring compared to the westerns and the like from around the same period. Just pure entertainment the whole way through.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's most out of nowhere appearance from Gene Wilder.<br />-Gene Hackman hamming it up.<br />-It took a while for me to notice, but yeah, that's Lucille Bluth.<br />-It's hard coming up with snarky remarks for a movie this solid.<br />-The ending probably would have been more surprising if a thousand fucking places hadn't ruined it time and time again over the years.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">A-</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BizxiDtFdrI&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BizxiDtFdrI&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/143881.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 901px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/143881.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />It's funny how no matter how much things change, there's always patterns that return. During the 3-D phase of the 50's, the studio forced Hitchcock to film this one in 3-D if he wanted to get it made, something currently plaguing filmmakers today. I'm sure Louis Leterrier has some unkind words about the conversion process being slapped on movies now. You can tell Hitchcock had no patience for this shit and almost as a "fuck you" to the studio, decided to stick a lamp in the forefront of almost every scene, providing the film's "depth" required to thrill 3-D patrons. Seriously, almost every scene leaves wondering why the fuck that lamp is jutting out in the middle of the frame until you realize how the movie was originally filmed. The story itself is a typical murder caper with various plots and revelations going on until the big reveal through a long stream of quick dialog hits. It's entertaining enough, even if it does feel like a stage play (which it came from), but it doesn't stick out as a particularly remarkable film, compared to other Hitchcock films at least. <br />Sights within:<br />-World's biggest dipshit of a mystery writer.<br />-I'm still baffled at why a studio demanded that a talky suspense movie where 98% of the film takes place in one of two rooms be filmed in 3-D.<br />-I like how the intended murderer is treated like a piece of scum from the start.<br />-Really, I'm surprised the lamps didn't get screen credit. They were the center of more shots than some of the actors.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1qWwFvsBVic&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1qWwFvsBVic&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/143832.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 875px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/143832.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />This is more of what I expect from a Hitchcock film. The visuals are as meticulous as clockwork and the story is nice and taut, with touches of Hitch's streak of dark comedy. Robert Walker as Bruno comes across as a demented mix of Jack Lemmon and Kevin Spacey, stealing every one of his scenes as a psycho that commits a murder in exchange for another. His would-be co-conspirator comes across as a clod but Walker more than makes up for it. You can't help but laugh at him even as he gets under your skin. The story takes more than a few turns with the plot but never gets out of hand or ridiculous. The big finale is a showstopper that comes across as impressive even today. One of the best Hitchcock films I've seen yet.<br />Sights within:<br />-The shot of Walker in the tennis stands is one of the most jarring shots Hitchcock filmed.<br />-Hitchcock managed to find not one but <span style="font-style:italic;">two</span> actresses that could pass themselves off as turtles. <br />-You can tell he's bad because he doesn't like children's balloons.<br />-World's most psycho carousel ride.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">A</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/B70_R1igohw&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/B70_R1igohw&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/427694.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 823px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/427694.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I had caught chunks of this back when TNT and TBS were awesome. The main thing I had remembered after all these years was the monster attack, not knowing that it was pretty much near the end of the film. That one scene actually creeped me out one late night back in '92 (I know this because they were spamming the commercials with TV spots for <span style="font-style:italic;">Bram Stoker's Dracula</span> at the time) and burrowed itself in with all of the rest of the major childhood cinema memories. Watching it today, it's still somewhat unsettling. Not so much for the same monster attack, but for the scenes following it. The whole movie throws you off center just with the music score alone. It's not performed with the typical orchestral arrangements but entirely of computerized beeps and whistles. I'm not sure if it's the absolute first movie to use such a score, but it's the earliest that I know. The droning and psychotropic tones start to dig in only moments into the movie. The movie has a lot of the standard sci-fi elements of the time; a rocketship, a slew of crew members playing their respective stock characters, and its own take on scientific mumbo-jumbo. However, the story is one of more intelligence than other films of the time. It avoids being simply about aliens and lasers and goes into the true fears of mankind. A truly great film.<br />Sights within:<br />-Robby the Robot, such a likable character, the studio would reuse him in other unrelated films.<br />-Lt. Frank Drebin before the hair went gray.<br />-World's largest pile of whiskey.<br />-The monster's still cool.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8y4crGU7dkg&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8y4crGU7dkg&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/189511.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 898px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/189511.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Another one of those movies where I've seen just about the whole thing but never watched it from start to finish before, which is especially weird when you factor in how much of a Carpenter nut I am. It's pretty much what I expected, Kurt's awesome, score's awesome, and everyone's throwing machismo like it fell off the back of a truck. The main thing that struck me watching it now was how low-key it was. Russell seems to take the movie at a leisurely pace and everyone else seems to match him. Even the wrestling scene felt kind of slow which I don't know if it was because the movie was going at a slow pace or it was just a hot afternoon and I was a little out of it anyways. The movie's cool enough, but I'd rate it around the middle of Carpenter's <span style="font-style:italic;">oeuvre</span>.<br />Sights within:<br />-A British President of the United States.<br />-Who could hate Harry Dean Stanton?<br />-Tom Atkins!<br />-I'm betting they didn't have to dress New York up too much at the time.<br />-World's most rockin' eye-patch.<br />-The sequel's about as much of a 180 as you can get.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B-</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ckvDo2JHB7o&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ckvDo2JHB7o&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/143927.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 900px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/143927.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Warner Brothers wanted to turn Robby the Robot into a household name and after <span style="font-style:italic;">Forbidden Planet</span>, they tried to find other projects to place him in. His next movie turned out to be just as enjoyable as the film that wrought Robby, but in an entirely different way. The leading mathematicians in the U.S. has created the world's smartest computer, one that also happens to be the size of a Winnebago. This computer has tricked its creators into upgrading it to the point of instilling sentient thought into the machine and awakened a desire for world domination. The computer works through the head mathematician's son and his pet robot as well taking over the mind's of others. This was just a really enjoyable sci-fi flick with a surprising amount of laughs. The characters in this are so offbeat they lend a wholly different tone than that of the usual 50's robots and spaceship movies. There's nothing life-changing here or anything, but it sure as shit is fun. Modern films can learn a little something about entertainment value here.<br />Sights within:<br />-The world's snarkiest little boy. I swear he was from the heart of the Bronx while the rest of his family was pure-bread Kansas.<br />-Despite the title, the whole "invisible boy" angle isn't a major factor here.<br />-Oh look, it's Heinlein's <span style="font-style:italic;">Puppet Masters</span>.<br />-World's coolest future kite.<br />-The family dinner scenes are fucking hilarious.<br />-Here's something you won't hear from me too often: I could see a decent remake from this, assuming they kept the breezy tone intact.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B+</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PE6GQQD45wU&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PE6GQQD45wU&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/430607.1020.A.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 580px; height: 941px;" src="http://www.moviegoods.com/Assets/product_images/1020/430607.1020.A.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Wow. I really tried to like this one. The trailers and all of the talk at the time it was out just made it seem like nothing but Oscar bait so I never watched it. I picked up the Criterion Blu for cheap and it's been sitting here like a sore thumb so I figured I'd throw it on and give it a chance now that the hub-bub's died down. Nope, it still reeks of pretentiousness and "look how important this is." Like I said, I tried to like it. I'm usually a sucker for nostalgic period films with schmaltzy plots. I'm old-school like that. But it just felt like every thing about this was lifted from other better Oscar winning movies and nothing really clicked with me as it's own, outside of the backwards age gimmick. And then literally nothing happens for what had to have been about an hour. I might have cared a little more if the Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt relationship was interesting, but it only seemed as though they wanted each other because this type of movie decreed it. I'd say at least Brad Pitt was good, but he really only delivered simple lines at a slow pace. By the time it was nearing the end, I was dying for it to be over. Not only is it the worst David Fincher movie by a mile as well as edging out <span style="font-style:italic;">Kicking and Screaming</span> as my least favorite movie in the Criterion Collection, it's also the biggest piece of pretentious, big-budget Oscar bait since <span style="font-style:italic;">Cinderella Man</span>. <br />Sights within:<br />-World's laziest assortment of theatrical posters. The one posted is the best one, and even that probably took all of ten minutes of planning. The Blu-ray cover? Puke. The worst in the entire Criterion Collection.<br />-I didn't understand one fucking thing Cate Blanchett mumbled when she was in the hospital.<br />-The movie really only felt alive when either Jared Harris or Taraji P. Henson is onscreen. Jason Flemyng wasn't bad either.<br />-The effects sucked. I'm sorry. I don't know if it was because I watched the Blu on a big-screen HDTV, but any computer effects looked like they were thrown on top of the film.<br />-That's another thing, I already can't stand movies being shot on digital. Every time the camera moved quick or it was a night scene, it reminded me of how inferior digital cameras still are.<br />-I have no problem with 3+ hour movies if they're interesting, but this fucking thing felt like it was ebbing my life away, one second at a time.<br />-World's best opening WB logo. It was all downhill from there.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">D</span><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7L6K3fkwr-Y&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7L6K3fkwr-Y&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mst3kinfo.com/satnews/dvds/nightofthebloodbeast.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 557px; height: 768px;" src="http://www.mst3kinfo.com/satnews/dvds/nightofthebloodbeast.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />There's never a bad time for <span style="font-style:italic;">Mystery Science Theater 3000</span>. Cooking, cleaning, lounging, whatever you're doing it can always bettered with a little MST3K. This concerns an alien coming to Earth to reproduce and help its race survive, typical 50's square jawed machismo and women in trouble follows. The film pretty much hands itself on a platter to the riff-crew just with the alien's procreation methods alone. Another great episode.<br />Sights within:<br />-World's only man pregnant with shrimp babies.<br />-I swear that monster's fought the Power Rangers.<br />-Yet another movie that could have inspired <span style="font-style:italic;">Alien</span>, minus the shrimp.<br />-It's all about Steve.<br />Grade: <span style="font-weight:bold;">B</span><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9lvMJQ_NHuE&hl=en_US&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9lvMJQ_NHuE&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Movies Watched:</span> 12 <br />-Whatever Works<br />-Sympathy for Lady Vengeance<br />-Kill Zone<br />-Dog Bite Dog<br />-Bonnie and Clyde<br />-Dial M for Murder<br />-Strangers on a Train<br />-Forbidden Planet<br />-Escape From New York<br />-The Invisible Boy<br />-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Blu)<br />-Night of the Blood Beast - MST3K Version<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Movies Bought:</span> 4<br />-Let It Ride<br />-Wrong Turn 3<br />-Man on Wire<br />-Tell Tale<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen DVDS:</span> 3219<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen Blu-rays:</span> 70<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen VHS:</span> 120<br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Unseen DVD-R'S:</span> 5<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Baby come back</span><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Make yourself whole</span>Dustinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05072900807318839375noreply@blogger.com0